rape vs sexual assault

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Anonymous #1
#1
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is it completely wrong to tell a victim of sexual assault who hadnt reached anywhere near puberty at the time “at least he didn’t rape you” or was this suppose to make me feel better

just want some opinions please. go anonymous if needed.
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KelsieTaylor
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I think it definitely is wrong to say, especially to a child. Both are terrible things to go through.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by KelsieTaylor)
I think it definitely is wrong to say, especially to a child. Both are terrible things to go through.
i meant this happened nearly a decade ago but i was told this last week.
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Scottishlad888
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Its completely wrong to say that to a young child or to an adult l hope it was not a police officer that spoke like that ?
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Theloniouss
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It's not very helpful, but it doesn't sound inherently malicious.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Scottishlad888)
Its completely wrong to say that to a young child or to an adult l hope it was not a police officer that spoke like that ?
no just my mum. even better.
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Scottishlad888
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(Original post by Anonymous)
no just my mum. even better.
OMG
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khadijaaaxxxx
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quite a horrible thing to say tbh
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ANM775
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(Original post by Anonymous)
is it completely wrong to tell a victim of sexual assault who hadnt reached anywhere near puberty at the time “at least he didn’t rape you” or was this suppose to make me feel better

just want some opinions please. go anonymous if needed.
they was most likely trying to make you feel better but it was an ill choice of words
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
is it completely wrong to tell a victim of sexual assault who hadnt reached anywhere near puberty at the time “at least he didn’t rape you” or was this suppose to make me feel better

just want some opinions please. go anonymous if needed.
I agree. but I also feel like the person may just be trying to find a way to comfort you if they have never experienced it and don't know how things work. I feel this way because this is a mistake I would make.
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bambi1425
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good intentions but not a good choice of method or words, hope you're okay
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glassalice
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No, it would probably make them feel as though their experience was being devalidated. This would be akin to breaching their trust.
Things like that are normally said by ignorant people opposed to malicious people.
Last edited by glassalice; 3 weeks ago
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
is it completely wrong to tell a victim of sexual assault who hadnt reached anywhere near puberty at the time “at least he didn’t rape you” or was this suppose to make me feel better

just want some opinions please. go anonymous if needed.
Not really enough context. The person who said it was ignorant, but might have had some strange idea they were trying to be sympathetic, when they were being tactless. Rather than dwell on it just move on.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Not really enough context. The person who said it was ignorant, but might have had some strange idea they were trying to be sympathetic, when they were being tactless. Rather than dwell on it just move on.
my mum said it and her brother sexually assaulted me when i was 6. i feel like she wanted to make me feel better but still take his side kind of yk. but you’re right i should
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I agree. but I also feel like the person may just be trying to find a way to comfort you if they have never experienced it and don't know how things work. I feel this way because this is a mistake I would make.
yeah you’re right. i feel like i would agree with that if i hadn’t gone through it. like eg being kidnapped but not killed yk? like there’s worse things that could’ve happened idk.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah you’re right. i feel like i would agree with that if i hadn’t gone through it. like eg being kidnapped but not killed yk? like there’s worse things that could’ve happened idk.
Still no context.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by glassalice)
No, it would probably make them feel as though their experience was being devalidated. This would be akin to breaching their trust.
Things like that are normally said by ignorant people opposed to malicious people.
that’s what i was thinking but couldn’t put into words.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Still no context.
what context is needed for this ?
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
what context is needed for this ?
What happened who said what when?
What you feel?
What you want?

It prevents people understanding fully what your situation is or what you want.
Last edited by 999tigger; 3 weeks ago
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glassalice
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(Original post by Anonymous)
that’s what i was thinking but couldn’t put into words.
:jumphug:
I hope your doing a little better each day. Learning to with / moving on from these things is tough.
One day someone will devalidate your experience and it won't matter to you one bit.
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