I'm really jealous of my friend

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
He's popular, not socially awkward, has a job and got chosen to be head boy.

I'm still trying to improve myself and when I thought I've gone a long way from being shy and awkward with people in an instant I feel like I reverted back. Eventhough he's kind of a people pleaser ,people don't actually use him like that, which is good. People just happen to try use me and when I'm being assertive I'm "not a real friend".

I wanted to be head girl but obviously wasn't qualified enough to be one. I'm still til this day trying to apply to jobs but always rejected. I'm still happy for my friend but I honestly feel envious and crave for friends. Ofc I can have fun with myself but actually having friends where I can not feel scared to meet up with or feel lonely would be nice too.

This is more like a rant but just any advice to stop comparing myself and build up a stronger wall self love?
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Geraldthegoat
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#2
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You’ll have many great qualities about yourself, be happy for your friend and support him. Surround yourself around positive people who make u happy and are there for u. Due to corona a lot of people are finding it hard to get jobs, ask him for advice on how to get a job etc, u can learn a lot from him than being jealous. Just be confident, don’t worry about what others are doing and if u get rejected in something it wasn’t meant to be, something positive will come your way and u can genuinely achieve your goals by having the right guidance, ambition and working hard. Maybe listen to some podcasts on the key to successfulness 😂 or to do with an interesting topic, hand out more cv’s and apply for jobs.
Last edited by Geraldthegoat; 4 weeks ago
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He's popular, not socially awkward, has a job and got chosen to be head boy.

I'm still trying to improve myself and when I thought I've gone a long way from being shy and awkward with people in an instant I feel like I reverted back. Eventhough he's kind of a people pleaser ,people don't actually use him like that, which is good. People just happen to try use me and when I'm being assertive I'm "not a real friend".

I wanted to be head girl but obviously wasn't qualified enough to be one. I'm still til this day trying to apply to jobs but always rejected. I'm still happy for my friend but I honestly feel envious and crave for friends. Ofc I can have fun with myself but actually having friends where I can not feel scared to meet up with or feel lonely would be nice too.

This is more like a rant but just any advice to stop comparing myself and build up a stronger wall self love?
Hi there,

You didn't get chosen to be head girl, but neither do the vast majority of people. It certainly doesn't make you a failure.

Don't blame yourself for not getting a job, either. My son has applied for 90 jobs and not got anything. Please do not let this affect your self worth. You are not alone. Also you are not to blame for the Covid situation either. It's just something that happened. At least you have a home and are being looked after. I feel so sorry for people who have a spouse or dependent children, a mortgage etc and then they lose their jobs.

Most of us are shy and afraid of being rejected by others. Again, you are not alone in this. Even at my age I sometimes feel worried about what I have said to others, or if they will take it the wrong way.

Your friend may seem easy going and popular, but inside he may feel the same insecurities but just hide it well.

And don't compare yourself to others. You can't be them. You are unique and just the fact that you posted this thread means you care about others. Don't be worried about helping others and being kind and friendly. You would be amazed how much other people notice and will respect you, even though they may not say so to your face.

In short, just keep on being you and try not to worry about things.
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Lilymae69
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Year 11 and have a job???, chile i mean im yr 10 but the same age as most year 11s right now so lemme just-
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Geraldthegoat)
You’ll have many great qualities about yourself, be happy for your friend and support him. Surround yourself around positive people who make u happy and are there for u. Due to corona a lot of people are finding it hard to get jobs, ask him for advice on how to get a job etc, u can learn a lot from him than being jealous. Just be confident, don’t worry about what others are doing and if u get rejected in something it wasn’t meant to be, something positive will come your way and u can genuinely achieve your goals by having the right guidance, ambition and working hard. Maybe listen to some podcasts on the key to successfulness 😂 or to do with an interesting topic, hand out more cv’s and apply for jobs.
I do ask him for advice, he just says he doesn't know how he got it. I can't just be confident like a switch. Thank you for your advice!
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
Hi there,

You didn't get chosen to be head girl, but neither do the vast majority of people. It certainly doesn't make you a failure.

Don't blame yourself for not getting a job, either. My son has applied for 90 jobs and not got anything. Please do not let this affect your self worth. You are not alone. Also you are not to blame for the Covid situation either. It's just something that happened. At least you have a home and are being looked after. I feel so sorry for people who have a spouse or dependent children, a mortgage etc and then they lose their jobs.

Most of us are shy and afraid of being rejected by others. Again, you are not alone in this. Even at my age I sometimes feel worried about what I have said to others, or if they will take it the wrong way.

Your friend may seem easy going and popular, but inside he may feel the same insecurities but just hide it well.

And don't compare yourself to others. You can't be them. You are unique and just the fact that you posted this thread means you care about others. Don't be worried about helping others and being kind and friendly. You would be amazed how much other people notice and will respect you, even though they may not say so to your face.

In short, just keep on being you and try not to worry about things.
Thank you a lot for your advice! I know there are others who are in horrible situations especially since the pandemic started, I just cant help with feeling sh*tty. Tho today imma just try do stuff that make me feel happy.

I sometimes don't like being me, and I'm still trying to change myself for the better it's just harder with more setbacks. Thanks again.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Lilymae69)
Year 11 and have a job???, chile i mean im yr 10 but the same age as most year 11s right now so lemme just-
No year 13
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Lilymae69
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No year 13
Oh ok lol
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Oxford Mum
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Nobody really likes themselves that much. All of us have faults.if we thought we were perfect we would be arrogant and insufferable.

You are doing fine, you just don’t know it.

All the very best.
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Geraldthegoat
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I do ask him for advice, he just says he doesn't know how he got it. I can't just be confident like a switch. Thank you for your advice!
Yeah u can
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Geraldthegoat)
Yeah u can
I fail to see how?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
Nobody really likes themselves that much. All of us have faults.if we thought we were perfect we would be arrogant and insufferable.

You are doing fine, you just don’t know it.

All the very best.
Thanks again!
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Emmerage
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Find something (or focus on something) you enjoy, and can get better at. If you invest time in hobbies like that, it makes you feel good about yourself when you master them. I remember doing karate for a few years in my late teens and early twnties was great for me. I wasn't very social and had never been athletic/sportsy, but I made some nice friends and got quite good at it, which made me value myself more
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Geraldthegoat
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I fail to see how?
Confidence takes time it isn’t like u can switch it on and off but u just need to believe in yourself and don’t compare yourself to everyone else. Don’t care about what others think of u. That would be a good place to start.
Last edited by Geraldthegoat; 4 weeks ago
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Morebalanation
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Don’t be in competition, your come up will come
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