I feel like my girlfriend is losing interest in me in a long distance relationship

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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So she's been my girlfriend for 2 months now and we had a really great relationship (some fights, but we got over them), up until I've travelled for university. Before travelling, she always used to say things like "if we don't talk for a day or two, don't worry it doesn't mean we lose feelings for each other, it's okay if we know where we stand with each other" "we got to trust each other" bla bla bla. After I travelled ( for 2 weeks now ), we stayed in strong communication for the first week. This week, she's not asking about me like she used to, she's not opening conversations like she used to, and whenever I bring something related to our relationship up she tries to change the conversation and not talk about it. For example, on our two months anniversary I asked her on the phone "How do you feel that today it's our two months anniversary?" SHE LITERALLY CHANGED THE SUBJECT! I got no answer. I'm very confused what happened with her; she used to be the one that talks about our relationship, she kind of changed her behavior with me, she doesn't send me good morning or good night texts anymore, and I'm starting to get worried as ****. I've tried taking a day or two off from her, I didn't text her, she texted me saying "I just registered for my uni. Yay". She didn't even ask how my day was going, what's up with me, etc..

Anyways, you get the idea. To be honest she means a lot to me and I don't want to lose her, so please refrain from ideas including "leave her, there are plenty of fish in the sea" bla bla.

What I need is a solution to my situation. Anyone?
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Anonymous #2
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You must already know that long distance relationships are usually difficult. However, knowing the fact you got yourself into this. So, yeah I won't tell you things that you are already aware of.

First thing first, in my opinion I think you're over analyzing this situation or maybe not because she's trying to be in contact with you but also trying not to be a needy girlfriend. You see she did give you updates in her life. Look at it this way, maybe she's hurting and she doesn't know how to cope up with it? And she's trying it to do it her way?

Girls think a lot! They are over thinkers when it comes to handling a relationship, She's testing you probably. They do that a lot. You just have to drop her texts everyday saying how your day went and seeing what today made you think of her.

You got this! <3
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sinfonietta
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It sounds like you're overthinking.

Questions like the one you asked about the relationship are awkward and over-bearing, which is likely why she dodged answering it. People don't want to feel like their partner is doubting them, or that they need to give constant reassurance that they're still interested.

When she told you she had registered for uni that was just her way of trying to start a conversation. You shouldn't fixate on the fact that she didn't ask about you first. It means nothing.
Last edited by sinfonietta; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
It sounds like you're overthinking.

Questions like the one you asked about the relationship are awkward and over-bearing, which is likely why she dodged answering it. People don't want to feel like their partner is doubting them, or that they need to give constant reassurance that they're still interested.

When she told you she had registered for uni that was just her way of trying to start a conversation. You shouldn't fixate on the fact that she didn't ask about you first. It means nothing.
Yes okay but that's not the point here. The point is that I'm starting to feel like she's losing feelings for me, she isn't paying attention to me and what's going on in my life whatsoever, she rarely talks about our relationship anymore. I'm not really sure what to do to fix this.
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SMEGGGY
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I sense she's perhaps into somebody else mate, ask her?
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Dunnig Kruger
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How can your relationship be great if you've already had fights in the first 2 months?
I can't think of any fights that I've ever had with any of my girlfriends in the first 2 months of our relationship.

What's all this nonsense about you going on about a 2 months anniversary?
That will just come over as needy and unattractive to her.

You say you don't want to lose her, but you've been acting in ways that will make her want to leave you.

You are not seeing her in real life.
When you do talk you are coming over as needy / possesive / frightened of losing her. Overall you are acting as an unattractive man.
Why on Earth should she stay with you?

She shouldn't with your current behaviour and mindset.

She'd be more attracted to you if you spent time with her in real life, doing fun exciting rewarding things together.
She'd be more attracted to you if you were a confident, self secure man, on a life mission with abundance in your life.

Why should she be interested in texting you when you are only having boring online conversations?

From her point of view, she will be better off getting a boyfriend that goes to her uni. She knows that. You know that.

You can do what you want. If I were in your shoes I'd be doing everything that I could to help her grow as a person and to be happy - with this including me encouraging her to get the best boyfriend for the set of circumstances that she is in. And therefore I'd be supporting her in her getting a new boyfriend at her uni.
Why would I do that? Because I'd care as much about her as about me.
For me to be happy to be anyone's boyfriend I have to be convinced that I am the right man for her, given her current set of circumstances. It's called being an ethical boyfriend. In the same way that an ethical salesperson wouldn't sell you something when there's a better alternative for you.

It's up to you if you want to be an ethical boyfriend or not...
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sinfonietta
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes okay but that's not the point here. The point is that I'm starting to feel like she's losing feelings for me, she isn't paying attention to me and what's going on in my life whatsoever, she rarely talks about our relationship anymore. I'm not really sure what to do to fix this.
What you can do to fix it is change your mindset. This problem sounds like it is for the most part inside your head. When it is really going to cause problems in the relationship is when you let that leak out and start acting insecure and seeking constant reassurance - which was what I highlighted in my previous post. Your current behaviour will push her away. From her perspective there likely isn't even a problem here at all.
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Mess.
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If you were having fights within the first 2 months, then just be done with it.
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