First to text a boy. Advice needed!

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
There's a guy at school that I like but don't know v well (he's in the year below) but he seems really nice and he's v good looking haha. We spoke for the first time at the start of this week and a few times after that (he initiated all of the conversations) and we seemed to be exchanging some flirtatious looks but idk if I'm imagining that haha. Anyway, as I won't be in school for a couple of weeks, I decided to add him on Snapchat. I've deduced that he's not a big social media user so I wasn't surprised when he added me back around a day later. Last night my friend egged me on to message him and I thought why not (my week had already gone horrifically downhill so I thought getting ignored/feeling embarrassed really couldn't make it much worse). So anyway, as I don't know him very well I had to use the minimal conversations we have had to think of something to ask but I managed and, nervously, hit send. I don't think I have ever been the first to message a boy (I'm a girl btw) but I just thought sod it what's the worst that could happen and surely everyone has moved on from the bullsh*t about guys having to be the first ones to message. Anyway, he still hasn't opened it. Again, I'm not surprised but the longer he doesn't open it, the more I am regretting sending it as I keep thinking I looked too keen or that there's no way he would want to talk to me (I'm probably punching above my weight) or that he only talked to me this week for something to do to pass the time and my friends teasing about him fancying me was just them being immature (cos they can be like that, even at age 17). Also, the message I sent was really not v exciting but I guess it was better than just 'hey'-it was something school-related because in our total of about 20 mins conversing we haven't got much further than that. Anyway, 1) have I embarrassed myself by messaging first? 2) is it possible that he just doesn't use social media much/another reason for not opening my message for almost a day now? 3) do you think him initiating a few conversations with me and repeatedly making eye contact is a good sign or am I just getting my hopes up??
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There's a guy at school that I like but don't know v well (he's in the year below) but he seems really nice and he's v good looking haha. We spoke for the first time at the start of this week and a few times after that (he initiated all of the conversations) and we seemed to be exchanging some flirtatious looks but idk if I'm imagining that haha. Anyway, as I won't be in school for a couple of weeks, I decided to add him on Snapchat. I've deduced that he's not a big social media user so I wasn't surprised when he added me back around a day later. Last night my friend egged me on to message him and I thought why not (my week had already gone horrifically downhill so I thought getting ignored/feeling embarrassed really couldn't make it much worse). So anyway, as I don't know him very well I had to use the minimal conversations we have had to think of something to ask but I managed and, nervously, hit send. I don't think I have ever been the first to message a boy (I'm a girl btw) but I just thought sod it what's the worst that could happen and surely everyone has moved on from the bullsh*t about guys having to be the first ones to message. Anyway, he still hasn't opened it. Again, I'm not surprised but the longer he doesn't open it, the more I am regretting sending it as I keep thinking I looked too keen or that there's no way he would want to talk to me (I'm probably punching above my weight) or that he only talked to me this week for something to do to pass the time and my friends teasing about him fancying me was just them being immature (cos they can be like that, even at age 17). Also, the message I sent was really not v exciting but I guess it was better than just 'hey'-it was something school-related because in our total of about 20 mins conversing we haven't got much further than that. Anyway, 1) have I embarrassed myself by messaging first? 2) is it possible that he just doesn't use social media much/another reason for not opening my message for almost a day now? 3) do you think him initiating a few conversations with me and repeatedly making eye contact is a good sign or am I just getting my hopes up??
I think he likes you, nothing ventured, nothing gained. He might not want to come across as too eager which is why he hasn't messaged back straightaway. Boys like to think they have to 'play it cool' with girls.
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Ackhnologia
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#3
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Hi there
Yeah OP
Like the anonymous post before, I think he might like you. You have sent a message. Now I think you just have to wait. The fact that you decided to message him, shows that you really want to talk with him.
1-You have not embarrassed yourself for doing so, at least I think.
2- As I said, you will have to be patient. Maybe he is not social media butterfly. In that case it might take time before he see your message.
3- I think it is a good sign. Even if of course it does not mean that it is 100% sure. But there surely is something there. The fact that he made an effort to initiate conversation and made some eye contact form time to time; is really a good sign.
What I read like is the fact that you decided to message him first. Most women would never have done that.
Guys want to feel needed too. I am sure things will work. Just be patient.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think he likes you, nothing ventured, nothing gained. He might not want to come across as too eager which is why he hasn't messaged back straightaway. Boys like to think they have to 'play it cool' with girls.
Thank you, I hope you're right
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you for the advice, I hope you're right
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ackhnologia)
Hi there
Yeah OP
Like the anonymous post before, I think he might like you. You have sent a message. Now I think you just have to wait. The fact that you decided to message him, shows that you really want to talk with him.
1-You have not embarrassed yourself for doing so, at least I think.
2- As I said, you will have to be patient. Maybe he is not social media butterfly. In that case it might take time before he see your message.
3- I think it is a good sign. Even if of course it does not mean that it is 100% sure. But there surely is something there. The fact that he made an effort to initiate conversation and made some eye contact form time to time; is really a good sign.
What I read like is the fact that you decided to message him first. Most women would never have done that.
Guys want to feel needed too. I am sure things will work. Just be patient.
Thank you for the advice about messaging first as a girl, I've had times in the past when I've liked shy boys and kind of known they've liked me back but I've been too scared to message and evidently so have they and I've ended up regretting it so I just thought f*ck that stupid gender norm I'm just gonna do it. Thank you for reassuring me!
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Ackhnologia
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for the advice about messaging first as a girl, I've had times in the past when I've liked shy boys and kind of known they've liked me back but I've been too scared to message and evidently so have they and I've ended up regretting it so I just thought f*ck that stupid gender norm I'm just gonna do it. Thank you for reassuring me!
You are welcome😊🙏
I am that kind of guys too. I am a bit shy when I really love a woman. There are times where I wish I would have been able to make a move. But because of my shyness I could not.
But it is a good thing to know that there are some women like you out there who have decided to make a move on a man if they like him and waiting for him to do it first.😊
I really hope things work
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ackhnologia)
You are welcome😊🙏
I am that kind of guys too. I am a bit shy when I really love a woman. There are times where I wish I would have been able to make a move. But because of my shyness I could not.
But it is a good thing to know that there are some women like you out there who have decided to make a move on a man if they like him and waiting for him to do it first.😊
I really hope things work
Thank you
He replied today and we've been having a flowing conversation since! I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I'm proud of myself for even just sending the first message, and he's being v sweet.
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Ackhnologia
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you
He replied today and we've been having a flowing conversation since! I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I'm proud of myself for even just sending the first message, and he's being v sweet.
Oh really?
That is good then😊
Well, now why not trying to ask to meet him somewhere. So that you two could have an opportunity to talk with him and see if there is something special between you two.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ackhnologia)
Oh really?
That is good then😊
Well, now why not trying to ask to meet him somewhere. So that you two could have an opportunity to talk with him and see if there is something special between you two.
Thank you for the advice but I think I'd like to just keep it going like this for now and not move too fast. Also, I'm in self-isolation for almost 2 weeks so that's not going to work haha. I'll see how things go for now and when I'm back at school with him. Thanks for all your help
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Ackhnologia
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for the advice but I think I'd like to just keep it going like this for now and not move too fast. Also, I'm in self-isolation for almost 2 weeks so that's not going to work haha. I'll see how things go for now and when I'm back at school with him. Thanks for all your help
You are welcome😊
And yeah you are right.
Please keep us updated on how things go with you two.
Good luck🙏😊
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