What exactly does his ex want?

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Anonymous #1
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This situation has nothing to do with me personally. This lady is an ex of someone who is a current love interest of mine, and is considering travelling to the UK to see me next summer.

Now his ex. I'm just curious as to what people would think is her issue. She's bothering me because I care about him, and I don't like seeing her do this to him. It's been bothering him too.

So he has admitted he loved her, shes the only woman he's ever loved. She broke up with him yo explore her feelings with someone else, but initially told him she had cheated on him... even though a few months later she told him she lied and that she never cheated with the guy she's with.

Its been about 3 years since they broken up, and for a while shes been sending him texts like "I never stopped loving you". She also woild make plans about missing him and how they should plan dates again... while shes still with this other guy. She would make promises to meet him but she would never go through with it. It's hurt him enough in the past since its toying with his feelinhgs, but she doesn't stop. He's blocked her number in the past, but when he unblocked her these texts came through and she was basically texting him once a month about how shes misses and loves him.

In the last text conversation they had, she still calls him 'Honey in some responses, even though for the most part she cut it out. What's her problem?
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sunny.side.up
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maybe she is still hung up on him?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by chloeebrown09)
maybe she is still hung up on him?
If that was the case wouldn't she bother to meet him? He says that in their last conversation which was a while back now, she mentioned that she's bought a house (moving in with her current partner).

He also told her he had a dream about her another time, in this dream he just met her in a shop and they started talking. She never bothered getting back to him.
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Anonymous #1
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Surnia
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Have you actually met this giy or is it an online connection?

It's more concerning that you call him a 'love interest' but he doesn't love you, and he's still in contact with his ex who either cheated on or lied to him, and is now doing similar again with her new partner. Why did he even unblock her?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Have you actually met this giy or is it an online connection?

It's more concerning that you call him a 'love interest' but he doesn't love you, and he's still in contact with his ex who either cheated on or lied to him, and is now doing similar again with her new partner. Why did he even unblock her?
Neither of us love each other. Love interest meant that we are considering being in a relationship. He's visiting the UK to see me, and to see my town to be more familiar with the town. He's considering moving to the UK after a few more visits if things go well with us. Right now we are only online and we are not together.

He unblocked her because he loves her. When you love someone you don't just stop caring.

This all happened when I was newly talking to him, and we werent as good friends as we are now. I was just an acquaintance at the time, but over the last few months we have become a lot closer than we ever thought we would. He's tood his friends and his therapist about me apparently.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Neither of us love each other. Love interest meant that we are considering being in a relationship. He's visiting the UK to see me, and to see my town to be more familiar with the town. He's considering moving to the UK after a few more visits if things go well with us. Right now we are only online and we are not together.

He unblocked her because he loves her. When you love someone you don't just stop caring.

This all happened when I was newly talking to him, and we werent as good friends as we are now. I was just an acquaintance at the time, but over the last few months we have become a lot closer than we ever thought we would. He's tood his friends and his therapist about me apparently.
If he's considering a relationship with you, why is he still in love with his ex, who has a partner? It sounds like they are both emotionally cheating and keeping their options open in case current plans don't work out.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
If he's considering a relationship with you, why is he still in love with his ex, who has a partner? It sounds like they are both emotionally cheating and keeping their options open in case current plans don't work out.
He's not inlove with her, they don't talk. They're very small text conversations every few months, he usually ignores her other messages even though she hasn't done it in a while now. But like I said she still randomly calls him honey in recent texts which means she's still at it.

You don't choose who to love, love doesn't disappear of its actually love. I respect that, that doesnt mean he can't move on, or love someone else. He's been with a lot of women, but she's the only one he said he's thought to have loved. I believe him, and I'm OK with it. If we do like each other when we meet in person and do comsider getting serious I'm going to have to ask for her number to be blocked and deleted, but while we arent serious I can't ask that of him
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
If he's considering a relationship with you, why is he still in love with his ex, who has a partner? It sounds like they are both emotionally cheating and keeping their options open in case current plans don't work out.
He actually feels shes the one that's using him to have her options open, or probably insecure and making sure he's still miserable without her.

He actually left university and fell into depression because of their break up. Its not like they talk often and consider each other friends. They talk every now and then.
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Anonymous #2
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Sounds like a headache to me, I’ve been in a situation like this, sounds like she’s manipulating him to stay available, giving him false hope.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sounds like a headache to me, I’ve been in a situation like this, sounds like she’s manipulating him to stay available, giving him false hope.
I feel the same way, I feel like she's being selfish and making sure someone wants her (that's not her own partner), like making sure she still has options. Why would you do this to someone though? it doesn't make sense to me.

He told me shes bought a house, (with her partner ovviously) which means they're probably about to have a baby soon
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel the same way, I feel like she's being selfish and making sure someone wants her (that's not her own partner), like making sure she still has options. Why would you do this to someone though? it doesn't make sense to me.

He told me shes bought a house, (with her partner ovviously) which means they're probably about to have a baby soon
She is probably a narcissist, they don’t have empathy & like to have backup supplies. She most likely will never get back with him but she’s just making sure he is still there if need be.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She is probably a narcissist, they don’t have empathy & like to have backup supplies. She most likely will never get back with him but she’s just making sure he is still there if need be.
Well he's stopped expecting it, he doesnt take her messages seriously and any text he does have with her is considered small talk. Again, its not like they talk regularly, they just catch up maybe every 5 months or something.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well he's stopped expecting it, he doesnt take her messages seriously and any text he does have with her is considered small talk. Again, its not like they talk regularly, they just catch up maybe every 5 months or something.
But that’s what he’s saying to you, doubt he’s gonna tell you that if she wanted him back he’d jump at the chance as he’s got you as a love interest. Truth is you will never know if they message or not, personally I wouldn’t advise getting involved with someone who still has their ex lingering about and texting them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But that’s what he’s saying to you, doubt he’s gonna tell you that if she wanted him back he’d jump at the chance as he’s got you as a love interest. Truth is you will never know if they message or not, personally I wouldn’t advise getting involved with someone who still has their ex lingering about and texting them.
He definitely doesn't. I dont have any proof but it makes no sense. Shes not interested in him, but she loves the attention. He doesn't lie about much, he's told me a lot of things you wouldn't usually tell someone. But he's pretty open like that,

I have no doubts in my mind that doesnt text her often. What I do believe is that he would go back to her if she wanted him, but again, he hasn't met me properly yet. He's literally considering moving countries for me
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He definitely doesn't. I dont have any proof but it makes no sense. Shes not interested in him, but she loves the attention. He doesn't lie about much, he's told me a lot of things you wouldn't usually tell someone. But he's pretty open like that,

I have no doubts in my mind that doesnt text her often. What I do believe is that he would go back to her if she wanted him, but again, he hasn't met me properly yet. He's literally considering moving countries for me
Hey I’m just trying to give honest advice. He might be a nice guy but like you said yourself you feel he would go back to her if she wanted, why would you want to get involved with someone who could one day have their ex contacting them to get back together when he obviously still has some feelings for her?
You obviously like him, you would know him far better than me, just be careful.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey I’m just trying to give honest advice. He might be a nice guy but like you said yourself you feel he would go back to her if she wanted, why would you want to get involved with someone who could one day have their ex contacting them to get back together when he obviously still has some feelings for her?
You obviously like him, you would know him far better than me, just be careful.
You know what, I'm going to ask him about this tomorrow. Straight up ask if he would go back to her if she wanted him, i would like to know his response..
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He's not inlove with her, they don't talk. They're very small text conversations every few months, he usually ignores her other messages even though she hasn't done it in a while now. But like I said she still randomly calls him honey in recent texts which means she's still at it.

You don't choose who to love, love doesn't disappear of its actually love. I respect that, that doesnt mean he can't move on, or love someone else. He's been with a lot of women, but she's the only one he said he's thought to have loved. I believe him, and I'm OK with it. If we do like each other when we meet in person and do comsider getting serious I'm going to have to ask for her number to be blocked and deleted, but while we arent serious I can't ask that of him
Your post at #6: "He unblocked her because he loves her." Present tense. She cheated on him or lied to him, he made a choice for contact to be resumed, so why does he still love and allow texts with someone like that after 3 years?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You know what, I'm going to ask him about this tomorrow. Straight up ask if he would go back to her if she wanted him, i would like to know his response..
How did it go?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Your post at #6: "He unblocked her because he loves her." Present tense. She cheated on him or lied to him, he made a choice for contact to be resumed, so why does he still love and allow texts with someone like that after 3 years?
I don't understand wht you're getting at with "present tense"? Do you really think humans stop loving each other? If you've ever stopped loving someone its because you never did. Loving and inlove isn't the same thing. I don't have an issue with knowing he loves someone, I dont understand why you're inplying this is an issue.

They dont text regularly, and when they do its very short conversations. He expects to talk to most of his exes because he's never had a breakup where he's left on bad terms. He still follows his last ex on social media and has caught up with her a few times to see how she is. He was the one who broke up with her as well. Its really not a big deal.
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