how to be ok with only seeing your boyfriend once every 2 weeks

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Anonymous #1
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Hi me and my bf live 40 mins apart. we can’t stay nights because my parents don’t know about us as i’m muslim. We do get the odd weekends away but generally we have to meet during the day. that means we can meet once a week but more realistically once every 2 weeks . that’s bc some weekends i see my friends or hand with family , or just want a day to myself. same with my bf- he’s not free every weekend because he has friends and a life. It’s hard but we don’t mind waiting and spending the day out together or getting a day hotel.

But it makes e so sad in between and i miss him. i hate my situations and my parents as they want to arrange marry me to someone muslim. I cant wait til i have money to run away with him.
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learner38
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Omg this sounds exactly like what my friend is going through. I’m soo sorry you have to hide it. But before you make any big decisions focus on what you personally want not your bf, not your family but you! I know it’s hard but it’s all your decision. Religious parents or cultural parents tend to be soo strict but they think they’re helping rather than hurting their child. I don’t know how old you are but I don’t think you’re in your 30s. But do what’s best for you specifically. And make sure your decision is a good one. Goodluck in life
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by learner38)
Omg this sounds exactly like what my friend is going through. I’m soo sorry you have to hide it. But before you make any big decisions focus on what you personally want not your bf, not your family but you! I know it’s hard but it’s all your decision. Religious parents or cultural parents tend to be soo strict but they think they’re helping rather than hurting their child. I don’t know how old you are but I don’t think you’re in your 30s. But do what’s best for you specifically. And make sure your decision is a good one. Goodluck in life
i’m 21. i know i have to live for myself because it’s my life but it’s hard and i hate y circumstances. I HATE my life
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learner38
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i’m 21. i know i have to live for myself because it’s my life but it’s hard and i hate y circumstances. I HATE my life
Ik I have a strict Christian African family so Ik what your going through. Don’t worry life gets better. As long as you and you’re bf genuinely love each other that’s what counts. If your going to get a house make sure your financially stable. Because if you’re parents see that you’re coming back to them because of money they might use that against you. My friend who’s going through the same thing as you has to hide her boyfriend from her muslim parents but she accepts that her parents are like that’s and her bf understands the situation even though hes athiest .
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by learner38)
Ik I have a strict Christian African family so Ik what your going through. Don’t worry life gets better. As long as you and you’re bf genuinely love each other that’s what counts. If your going to get a house make sure your financially stable. Because if you’re parents see that you’re coming back to them because of money they might use that against you. My friend who’s going through the same thing as you has to hide her boyfriend from her muslim parents but she accepts that her parents are like that’s and her bf understands the situation even though hes athiest .
he’s really supportive and doesn’t mind the situation because he loves me but y mental health is suffering. it’s so draining knowing i’m getting disowned
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learner38
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(Original post by Anonymous)
he’s really supportive and doesn’t mind the situation because he loves me but y mental health is suffering. it’s so draining knowing i’m getting disowned
Yeh I’m soo sorry for that. I don’t understand why parents are like this sometimes. But maybe talking with them can be an option(Ik that’s not at the top of your list) idk cauz it’s just a really hard situation. But uno omg I’m soo sorry I really wish I can give you the most perfect answer where you and your family are happy but ahhh
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by learner38)
Yeh I’m soo sorry for that. I don’t understand why parents are like this sometimes. But maybe talking with them can be an option(Ik that’s not at the top of your list) idk cauz it’s just a really hard situation. But uno omg I’m soo sorry I really wish I can give you the most perfect answer where you and your family are happy but ahhh
thank you for listening i have no one who understands this stuff so i have to come here and say stuff
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Anonymous #2
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You hate your family because you can’t see your bf ...
bit harsh
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learner38
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thank you for listening i have no one who understands this stuff so i have to come here and say stuff
No problem don’t listen to people who just take one side Ik family is important and soo is your mental health❤️have a nice rest of your day❤️
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Surnia
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You say you're Muslim, but you're clearly prepared to make compromises by being in a relationship, so it's time to stand up to your parents and not let them dictate your life. What are you doing to change the situation and move out, and support yourself? Are you studying, working? What is your boyfriend doing to help you in this?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
You say you're Muslim, but you're clearly prepared to make compromises by being in a relationship, so it's time to stand up to your parents and not let them dictate your life. What are you doing to change the situation and move out, and support yourself? Are you studying, working? What is your boyfriend doing to help you in this?
yup , he’s converting, trying to save and move into a nicer place, getting a promotion /applying for jobs to earn more so if i do get disowned he can be stable
i work i have a pretty good job and earn like 26k atm. I also want to stand up to them but i know the evil and horrid things they say about me, about his family , they’ll say his family is low class because they don’t own property and have regular dead end 9-5 jobs. They are in a different socioeconomic background to my family but i don’t care or mind.
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lisswin
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I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you! You do know that you have a right to not be forced into marriage? here is a link that can maybe help. If you need to talk drop me a message on here.....

https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-inf...-marriage-law/
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yup , he’s converting, trying to save and move into a nicer place, getting a promotion /applying for jobs to earn more so if i do get disowned he can be stable
i work i have a pretty good job and earn like 26k atm. I also want to stand up to them but i know the evil and horrid things they say about me, about his family , they’ll say his family is low class because they don’t own property and have regular dead end 9-5 jobs. They are in a different socioeconomic background to my family but i don’t care or mind.
If you can work and have a well-paying job, then what is stopping you getting your own place? I understand that there are times when people don't want to disrespect or cut off family, but blood ties only go so far and don't mean there's any love there. Are there any relatives or friends you could speak with to support you in this? If not, dont wait around for them or even for your boyfriend, except maybe to be there to help you move your stuff out of your home and into somewhere new. Start looking now for a short-term rental and get yourself some independence. Get away from the threat of a possible forced marriage. So what if nasty things are said about your boyfriend? They are just words and you won't be around to hear them.
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Anonymous #3
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I'm a lot younger than you but I can relate to how you feel. My ex-boyfriend had very very controlling parents and only wanted us to meet once every month. We eventually got this down to once every two weeks but they shamed me and constantly spoke badly of me to my boyfriend. You'll learn to adapt to this circumstance and realise eventually you'll move out of your home and your parents won't be able to control you as much as they do now.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i’m 21. i know i have to live for myself because it’s my life but it’s hard and i hate y circumstances. I HATE my life
Can you not leave home at your age?
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lisswin
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Why is he converting??

Just live your lives, you are young, don't let religion dictate to you who you can have a relationship with. Life is for living enjoy it!
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ANM775
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40 minutes apart isn't that far

if you both met in the middle that would be only 20 mins apart

I'm sure you could both manage that if you really wanted....
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