Arab girl with no sexual experience

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Same here girl, I’m Pakistani and I’m literally the biggest freak ever I’m not even kidding you - but like due to religion and culture/whatever, or the ‘disapproval’ growing up, I have had no sexual contact with any guys, let alone kissed them. I’m 20 now and I feel like I’m missing out. Idk. I feel like I can’t pursue anything with anyone and yeah this truly makes no sense

Reply 61

Anonymous #9

Shaitaan is wanting you to commit sin sister. Do it the halal way. You will be blessed with someone who can i'A fulfil all your needs. XX

Reply 62

Anonymous #8

Original post by Anonymous

Shaitaan is wanting you to commit sin sister. Do it the halal way. You will be blessed with someone who can i'A fulfil all your needs. XX

I’m not anon but I truly hope this for me and her and any other sis inshallah xx because I’m tired of waiting, I just want to be loved

Reply 63

mgi

Original post by Anonymous

Stop taking advice from some people and socialise outside of normal and meet people of different backgrounds and religions. Perhaps investigate other religions. Try to find out about dating. Think for yourself.

Reply 64

Anonymous #8

Original post by mgi

nearly all of my friends are either Christians or Atheists - I think it’s just so hard for me to disconnect with something I’ve been connected for years
But thanks

Reply 65

mgi

Original post by Anonymous

I’m not anon but I truly hope this for me and her and any other sis inshallah xx because I’m tired of waiting, I just want to be loved

Yes, and muslim marriages are not what they are cracked up to be on these type of threads. You should date the man,( in secret if you have to,) before you ever consider marrying them.
Mix with other people outside of yiur own culture and religion and think for yourself! Look for dates and meet ups with people. Don't go into marriage without knowing your own body and your own needs! Date first, regardless.

Reply 66

mgi

Original post by Anonymous

nearly all of my friends are either Christians or Atheists - I think it’s just so hard for me to disconnect with something I’ve been connected for years
But thanks

Yes, i understand but with effort you can do it!

Reply 67

Altvamp

Well have you talked to your parents about this? Probably the best way to start, but in the end you are 21 and you can do what you choose, you will need to live in your own place, it wasn't a lot different me and lots of othr English kids, parents were stil strict about that kind of thing, I couldn't have a relationship at home, had to leave home in my 20's

Reply 68

Anonymous #10

Original post by Anonymous

Hey I’m a girl the thing is that I’m 21 and I never been kissed or done anything with a guy as I never appealed to me but now I wanna do it as Im having all these feeling but I’m scared as people might know if I kissed a boy or do anything as I don’t trust anyone to do any with them as I wear the hijab and I’m arab my parents are strict so I don’t know what to do?

You said you're not attracted to anyone at your Uni but you also said that you've never experienced such love before.

I believe in the concept of falling for people over time, so I don't think it's love in your case since it's not focused at anyone in particular and you're only considering appearances.
In this case, it's more appropriate to call your "feeling" lust. And what does Islam teach us about primal urges? To have such self-control to resist until the time comes when we can handle them the halal way.

In the case that you ignore what I said and what a few others have said, please don't rush into anything at the very least. Urges like this, when acted upon, usually end up in nothing but harm and regret so if you are absolutely obsessed with succumbing to this lust then do it in the safest manner possible - ie contraception, knowing the guy long enough to know he's good even if you might not marry him. I repeat, I don't recommend this action but do this at the very least.

Reply 69

Altvamp

I think you misunderstood the OP, she is basically saying she didn't have sexual feelings for males until now but now she wants to find out what it is like and to learn about it and try it, she isn't saying she is in love and she is not feeling lust but she wants to try it, it's normal. Of course you shouldn't rush into anything, but at the same time you should not spend a long time wasted with someone who is not suitable and certainly not a forced partner, Getting hurt is inevitable unless you are very lucky, it's part of life and growing up.

Reply 70

Anonymous #10

Indeed it is quite normal in certain countries. However, normal does not equal good most of the time (I believe that Western society is too sexual and that such a society is harmful). In terms of bodily urges developing at a certain age, I reiterate my point "just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean you should act on it).
Also, thanks for clarifying what OP meant.
Lastly, I should have articulated myself better - with what I said about her taking this usually regretted and harmful route I meant that she should at least not do it with a guy that's the bottom of the barrel. At the very least, I wasn't trying to say she should know him for year(s).

Side-note: I think the getting hurt part is a non-issue in the sense that OP will be hurt by many situations out of her control, so she should at least have the wisdom to not lead herself to harmful situations of her own volition.
Side-side-note: Why the hell do I always write essays? I swear this was meant to be a two sentence reply but then my mind started wandering off into the abyss and I had written an essay when I snapped out of it. :confused:

Reply 71

Altvamp

What is normal in certain countries? The normal thing is to have relationships but take it slow and don't just have sex so quickly, but this *was* no different for Christianity or any other religion,100 years or more ago we all had much higher moral standards and sex was very taboo and private, women didn't go around half naked, have sex and babies at school, people had much more respect and self respect, What has happened in the western world is people are spoilt, get everything they want, have no moral values or standards and no respect for themselves or others, they are out of control doing as they please, now school kids walk around with their arses and tits hanging.out and some look like prostitutes. Society as a whole is going backwards. I don't like it and I am male, in Islam they cover to much, it is extreme,but even here a long time ago a lady would not show so much like now, it was considered bad. I was born to the C of E but I chose to be an atheist. i never liked religion but it does have one important purpose, it teaches us moral standards, that doesn't happen any more and as punishment is no longer allowed al we can say is "naughty naughty don't do it again" The usually response is stuff you I'l do what I want. You can't teach moral standards with out at least some discipline, this is the only good thing religion provides as everything else in religion is about worshipping a god, doing as you are told, being controlled, converting those who don't or fighting them. Religion is one of the biggest causes of war and hatred, it's also barbaric. I think it's inevitable that Islam will go the same way eventually because people want to be free, eventually they get bored of conformity especially enforced conformity.

Are you ready?

Original post by Moonlight rain

Are you ready?

For what?

Reply 74

username5326522

Original post by Altvamp

For what?

I’m asking her if she’s ready for sex

Reply 75

Altvamp

It's normal when people are brainwashed

Reply 76

Bellamoon

Original post by Anonymous

It’s ntd sort it, you are worth so much more.Its hard being the one left out but just know that you are pleasing Allah and will be rewarded for your effort.You will inshallah meet the right person to do all theses things with in a halal way.Allah wants to protect us from heartache, you are too expensive to be kissing men who haven’t signed a marriage contract.Please please just make sure you pry and don’t do this sis!

Reply 77

Altvamp

Original post by Bellamoon

It’s ntd sort it, you are worth so much more.Its hard being the one left out but just know that you are pleasing Allah and will be rewarded for your effort.You will inshallah meet the right person to do all theses things with in a halal way.Allah wants to protect us from heartache, you are too expensive to be kissing men who haven’t signed a marriage contract.Pleas please just make sure you pry and don’t do this sis!

This is just the kind of rubbish you should ignore, pleasing a non existent being just to satisfy those who wrote the religious books and those followers who brainwash you into believing them so they have power over your life, get married to someone you don't know, then find you don't like them. Many people find the relationship is good until they get married, but once you are married you are owned and this changes peoples attitude to each other, consideration and effort go out the window and are replaced by demands and expectations

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 78

Anonymous #1

Original post by mgi

Indeed, so she should consider leaving home and putting aside her religion and moving forward to find true happiness!
And parents do not have the right to tell a 21 year old how to live his/her life. That makes little sense.

I just read all that you wrote and everything you wrote is absolute nonsense cause your not even answering my question your making it seem that Islam is bad when Islam is a beautiful religion ‏الله يهديك

Have a lovely day and hope god takes all the hate in your heart

Reply 79

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Awww, you have my sympathy. The best thing to do right now is to not think about and try do something else to preoccupy your mind. The more you keep thinking about it the worse its going to get. As its late I would recomend going to bed as you will forget about it in the morning and if you get urges later after tommorow then find a hobby to take your mind off things. Try to really get stuck into something and this phase will pass.