should i run away / live with someone else or get emancipated?

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honeybucket17
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It's been a year and 3 months since I moved from living with my mom to living with my dad. Living with my mom was horrible and the worst and I moved to be with my dad for a better life.
I thought it would be a better life for me with my dad, but he's just as bad, but more civil than my mom. As a 14 year old, almost 15, Asian daughter who is very bold with her thoughts and will say what's on her mind most of the time and who's growing up and isn't a little girl anymore soon, there is going to be arguments and fights, especially since it's just me and my dad and no female figure in my life who will get me. My dad always calls me slutty, stupid, slow, lying, idiot, whorey *****. He calls me every name in the book to degrade me. What did i do? I wore ripped jeans and a crop top, and it was very stylish because that's what's trending. Everyone wears it. He's slapped me across the face multiple times and punched my face when he gets really mad when we argue. My face gets numb and swollen. He's thrown stuff at me and yelled at me to leave the house and I would try to but all he would do is hit me or push me. He emotionally and verbally abuses me. Even if I do my best, he treats me like ****. I cook dinner, I clean the house, I do the dishes, I throw the trash, I do everything he asks. I basically take care of him and myself. I'm so tired of being mistreated, abused, and crying every night endlessly. He knows all of my triggers and when he's mad he uses them on me and it gets hard for me to breathe. he does this on purpose and he's the only one left in my family who's by my side, and he's slowly going away. everything good that happens to me goes away. he can't let me be happy. i want to get away from my life. from this life with him. i can't go back to my mom because last time i lived with her, she beat the **** out of me to where i couldn't open my jaw to eat and now everytime i open it, it clicks. i can't live with my uncle because his son sexually harasses me in my sleep. I can't live with my aunt because her daughters hate me and she hates me. none of my family wants me. the only people who truly love and care about me are my friends. i just need to find a source of income to be eligible to be emancipated. I've been doing my research and I know I can take care of myself and find someone who will let me live with them. I just know that once i become emancipated, it cannot be undone. I just need some input from people. if you have questions to help me decide, please ask away.


Mod edit - For Support and Advice:
https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/home-families/
Last edited by honeybucket17; 3 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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Hi, I found this difficult to read as I feel so awful and upset for you, you really don't deserve any of this. Everything that you are describing is abuse, and the best thing for you to do- I cannot urge you enough- is to contact the police and/or social services (CPS if you're US based). It is completely unsafe for you to live in any of the environments that you have lived in (bar perhaps your aunt) and at your age it would be best for you to stay with a foster/adoptive family that can take care of you, even if you move out at 16.
For now, do you have any friends you can stay with?
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honeybucket17
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, I found this difficult to read as I feel so awful and upset for you, you really don't deserve any of this. Everything that you are describing is abuse, and the best thing for you to do- I cannot urge you enough- is to contact the police and/or social services (CPS if you're US based). It is completely unsafe for you to live in any of the environments that you have lived in (bar perhaps your aunt) and at your age it would be best for you to stay with a foster/adoptive family that can take care of you, even if you move out at 16.
For now, do you have any friends you can stay with?
Yes I have a friend who I can stay with, but I don't know if it'll even be worth it. My dad may call the cops, and I don't want my friend's family to be fined with harboring a runaway. I don't know how I can get a foster or adoptive family if my dad has custody of me.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by honeybucket17)
Yes I have a friend who I can stay with, but I don't know if it'll even be worth it. My dad may call the cops, and I don't want my friend's family to be fined with harboring a runaway. I don't know how I can get a foster or adoptive family if my dad has custody of me.
It's nothing to do with custody, it's about abuse. If you tell the police what is happening to you, as a minor they have to take care of you and find you somewhere safe to stay. By your spelling or 'harboring' I'm guessing you're in the US- I don't know the system as well but here in the UK you would call the non-emergency number for the police, tell them you are being physically abused by your dad- and were by your mother when you were staying with her- and they would have no choice but to act.
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Anonymous #1
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Suggestion- do you have a close friend whose family could take care of you? You could go there after school tomorrow and, with their knowledge so they can support you, call CPS/the police (I'm googling the US system and can't work out whose best I'm sorry) and tell them what's going on? Or you could tell someone at school? I'm just concerned that if you call whilst at home your dad could harm you
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honeybucket17
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Suggestion- do you have a close friend whose family could take care of you? You could go there after school tomorrow and, with their knowledge so they can support you, call CPS/the police (I'm googling the US system and can't work out whose best I'm sorry) and tell them what's going on? Or you could tell someone at school? I'm just concerned that if you call whilst at home your dad could harm you
We're doing online school so I can't really leave after school and my dad works from home. I plan to run away at night, take all my things, call up my friend and go to her house or have my friend J pick me up and he can let me stay with him for the time being. I don't know if this matter is serious enough for CPS because there are kids who suffer worse than me.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by honeybucket17)
We're doing online school so I can't really leave after school and my dad works from home. I plan to run away at night, take all my things, call up my friend and go to her house or have my friend J pick me up and he can let me stay with him for the time being. I don't know if this matter is serious enough for CPS because there are kids who suffer worse than me.
You just can't look at it like that- there is always someone who 'has it worse'- the fact is clear to anyone viewing this from outside (like me ) that you have tried all the available options open to you- you have stayed with all different family. Your father does have custody, and the only way to change that is to make it known to the authorities that he shouldn't, that is not safe for you to be around.
I know you might not believe this as we haven't met, but I'm genuinely really upset that this is happening to you and I'm worried if you run away, you'll be caught going and get hurt. How about contacting CPS and asking for their advice, they will know what to do- https://www.childwelfare.gov/contact/ That link has ways of contacting not just by calling, so it will be more subtle, and they can manage the situation safely.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you, I really am. I wish I could do something more to help.
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