This has never happened before... I am so uncomfortable

My whole life before uni, I didn't care about what I looked like, I solely focussed on work and am finally at med school :smile:

Anyway, because I never cared about what I looked like, no guy ever paid attention to me or was ever interested in me. When I got to uni, I started to pay a little more attention to the way I looked and this did get me attention in places like clubs but then again, as a girl, it is seriously easy to get attention in the club
Over lockdown, I worked out a little more, fixed my hair and paid attention to my skin and I think it was the first time in my life where I was finally more comfortable and confident in the way I looked (I looked no different, I just felt better)
This is gonna sound really narcissistic and attention seeking but ever since I returned to 3rd year uni, I have noticed that I get a lot of unwanted attention from random men on the street. Like for example today I was walking down the street and I could see this old construction worker staring at me and he was NOT discreet about it. Yesterday I noticed some guy recording me in a shop (this was REALLY creepy) and then a couple of days ago, I noticed this guy (not so) subtly looking at my ass...
Like I know women go through this everyday but as someone who has never attracted anyone or tried to look good, it is so creepy and weird when men are now paying attention :frown:

like it makes me not wanna try and look decent anymore. I felt so confident coming into uni about the way I looked but now I just feel very uncomfortable with the attention.
I live in London and have heard that it is very common for this to happen but its the fact that these men don't even try and hide the fact that they are leering :frown:

thankfully noone has whistled/said anything but I still feel really uncomfortable as I have read about so many cases of women being assaulted because they stood up for themselves/ tried to say no.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I am a seriously average looking person, like I am not even trying to be modest. I am the kind of person who would get ignored everywhere and I am fully okay with being ignored by guys. I've never ever let any guy be emotionally close to me because I do not want to get into a relationship just yet.
I just don't want to be seen in the creepy way these people look at me and the recording in the shop was just so f***ing weird
I am a medical student so I have to always maintain a certain level of professionalism even when I am out and about so really just don't want to get into a confrontational situation which could harm my reputation
Any girls/ women who have experienced this, how do you avoid it? Like do I just stop trying to look presentable, do I cover up, do I say something back to these people?

Reply 2

username3477548

yh u just gotta ignore them...
dont need to cover up etc. if ur comfortable with how u look

i wouldn't talk back if i were you...im not confrontational lol but if u'd feel better saying something back, do it

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by vix.xvi

Its so difficult to ignore when you know someone is looking at you in a very inappropriate way :frown:

Reply 4

username3477548

Original post by Anonymous

Its so difficult to ignore when you know someone is looking at you in a very inappropriate way :frown:

Ikk it is I feel u

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I have to go to hospital placements and stuff in really dodgy areas so I’m just really scared someone will do/ say something

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

I know I shouldn’t let it get to me but I don’t know how to deal with it

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

There’s a lot of cases where women have been catcalled/ stalked in this area because they ‘dressed like they wanted it’
I am so scared of stepping out without covering up even though I know I shouldn’t be

Reply 8

Abzzz57

Hi, Sorry your going through this! Its not a nice feeling and unfortunately until you change other peoples mindsets there is not a lot you can do. I also wouldn't want to advice you to cover up because why should you, it isn't your fault that they are looking.

I would recommend ignoring them as best as you can, looking at them back (this usually causes them to look away or get embarrassed), say something along the lines of 'can I help you?' but I don't recommend doing this if they look scary and will take advantage. Wearing a coat or jacket just until you get to your destination..

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Abzzz57

Yeah I do generally try to ignore them but I just feel so weird knowing that these people are being so inappropriate
Like I often have to walk past this construction site which is always full of men and it’s just so uncomfortable to walk past them