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The girl that I have a crush on is scared to be in a relationship

I have a crush on this girl for a long time and she used to have a boyfriend and I liked her before she dated a boyfriend. They been together for 6 months and she has a rough time. Her boyfriend cheated on her twice and she found out the first time and forgave him because she is like that she is really sweet and soft. Even though she was breaking in the inside she didnt show it. I told her that he will use her if she carries on. After he did again and she was like I'm done. And he kept coming to her. I was acc pissed I acc shouted at him and had a proper arguement. He said he didn't mean it. After that I kinda broke down coz the person I love got played by some stupid idiot. After that she got upset and stopped talking to ppl. Like she shut ppl down. I gave her space and she moved on after 1 month and some days. After we started talking again like before and we became really close. We hang out. I told her I liked her today and I had a crush on her for a long time. And she told me that she's scared to be in a relationship and all her relationships were toxic. She said that she wants to be with me but she's scared to lose her only best friend. What do I do? I love her a lot and I know I would be with her. Like I love her a lot.
Wow this is a tough situation. So there's no easy answer to this. Sorry that this has put you two in a weird predicament -- it seems that you'll treat her way better than her ex but of course, it's normal for her to be scared and she sounds like she has trust issues after that horrible ex.

They say that if you really love someone and care about them, then you should let them go.

But on the other hand, you don't want her to find it hard to trust people again and if you get with her (relationship) then those walls will probably break and she'll be full of positivity and happiness again.

Have you had a full on discussion about the pros and cons of being together? What has she said exactly that she's scared of? Because, to me, it sounds like you're a decent friend (you've been there for her throughout which is lovely) therefore you'll also be a decent boyfriend -- maybe tell her that if you and her are good as friends then you two would be just as good in a relationship.

But if she persists then I think the best thing to do would be to just be friends and stay by her side whenever she needs you -- just gonna have to stay friends.
Original post by Anonymous
I have a crush on this girl for a long time and she used to have a boyfriend and I liked her before she dated a boyfriend. They been together for 6 months and she has a rough time. Her boyfriend cheated on her twice and she found out the first time and forgave him because she is like that she is really sweet and soft. Even though she was breaking in the inside she didnt show it. I told her that he will use her if she carries on. After he did again and she was like I'm done. And he kept coming to her. I was acc pissed I acc shouted at him and had a proper arguement. He said he didn't mean it. After that I kinda broke down coz the person I love got played by some stupid idiot. After that she got upset and stopped talking to ppl. Like she shut ppl down. I gave her space and she moved on after 1 month and some days. After we started talking again like before and we became really close. We hang out. I told her I liked her today and I had a crush on her for a long time. And she told me that she's scared to be in a relationship and all her relationships were toxic. She said that she wants to be with me but she's scared to lose her only best friend. What do I do? I love her a lot and I know I would be with her. Like I love her a lot.


this girl sounds really sweet and so do you, it is really good how she has said that to you because it shows she trusts you, if i were the girl i would want you to come to me and say hey like i said i do really like you and i know you are really scared to be in a relationship at the minute and i really respect that i don’t want to push you into anything you aren’t comfortable with because i do really care for you i just want you to know that i am always here for you if you would like to talk about anything, but if you feel comfortable with it would you like to maybe just start to get a bit closer but nothing too much for the minute and we’ll see how your feeling and how quickly you are comfortable enough to becoming more relationshipy. i hope this helps and good luck x

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