How to make new friends?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
I know I'm unappreciated in my friendship circle in school and feel like an outsider. I can't really make close connections to others in my year right now because everyone already has their own friendship circle.

I need new friends and eventhough my social skills have improved I feel like I sabotage myself by acting awkward around people. It feels like it's hard to make a deeper connection with people as I've been told I'm quite friendly but I can only make surface level friendships.

I want to have friends with people with similar interests and who I can hang out with or go places with. I'm still new on my journey of "levelling up".

Any advice please?
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DrawTheLine
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#2
Report 3 weeks ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I know I'm unappreciated in my friendship circle in school and feel like an outsider. I can't really make close connections to others in my year right now because everyone already has their own friendship circle.

I need new friends and eventhough my social skills have improved I feel like I sabotage myself by acting awkward around people. It feels like it's hard to make a deeper connection with people as I've been told I'm quite friendly but I can only make surface level friendships.

I want to have friends with people with similar interests and who I can hang out with or go places with. I'm still new on my journey of "levelling up".

Any advice please?
Do you sit next to anybody in lessons who you could get to know a bit more when you're doing your work? It's going to be a bit tricky this year because of all the distancing and everything being online, but have a look around your local area and see if there are any clubs or classes you could join to get to know others, even if it is just online over a video call for now.

When you leave school, go to uni or wherever, you'll find it easier to make friends because everyone will be in the place they want to be, instead of where they have to be meaning you're more likely to have common interests with people you meet in those places.
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martinzzandie
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#3
Report 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know I'm unappreciated in my friendship circle in school and feel like an outsider. I can't really make close connections to others in my year right now because everyone already has their own friendship circle.

I need new friends and eventhough my social skills have improved I feel like I sabotage myself by acting awkward around people. It feels like it's hard to make a deeper connection with people as I've been told I'm quite friendly but I can only make surface level friendships.

I want to have friends with people with similar interests and who I can hang out with or go places with. I'm still new on my journey of "levelling up".

Any advice please?
Firstly, if you feel unappreciated in your current friendship circle, you are hanging out with the wrong people.
Secondly, there is no right or wrong way to make friends and no size limit to a 'friendship circle' - just because someone already has a few friends, it does not mean that they are not willing to have a new friend joining their ranks. Everyone is different and makes friends in a different way!

I, for example, have always been very shy on top of being an introvert and I have always found myself with only a couple of friends at a time. I am now 30 and I still only have one or two friends I know I can count on, in addition to my partner and family. And that is enough for me.

Finally, with a few exceptions to the rule, deeper connections do not happen overnight - it takes years of a mutual effort to create a deep, long-lasting bond with people. And even then, that does not mean you will be friends forever. People change, life gets in the way, things happen. It is about the journey, not only the destination

Always be kind to everyone around you and treat everyone equally and with respect. My tip would be to not just focus on people on your year - friends can be made anywhere and everywhere. Join groups, clubs and/or activities where you are more likely to find people with interests similar to yours - be it books, movie, music, games, a sport etc.

Specific interest facebook groups and volunteering (or even starting your own volunteering project) can be great ways of connecting with new people and having something in common.

Speak to your teachers, see if there are any ways you could make your school 'community' better and more inclusive, come up with volunteer project or a new hobbies club - the opportunities to make friends are endless, all it takes is a bit of effort and of course, time.

And most importantly, don't be so hard on yourself! Just be who you are and similar people will eventually gravitate towards you (or you towards them).

xxx
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#4
(Original post by DrawTheLine)
Do you sit next to anybody in lessons who you could get to know a bit more when you're doing your work? It's going to be a bit tricky this year because of all the distancing and everything being online, but have a look around your local area and see if there are any clubs or classes you could join to get to know others, even if it is just online over a video call for now.

When you leave school, go to uni or wherever, you'll find it easier to make friends because everyone will be in the place they want to be, instead of where they have to be meaning you're more likely to have common interests with people you meet in those places.
Yes I do actually! We're friends but not that close so I'm planning to ask them to hang out since we both like adventures. Hopefully that goes well! I've joined a club ish but we have nothing in common there at all.

A few more months and I'll be in uni so I plan to have a fresh start. But for now I really want friends to hang out with now, especially in school.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by martinzzandie)
Firstly, if you feel unappreciated in your current friendship circle, you are hanging out with the wrong people.
Secondly, there is no right or wrong way to make friends and no size limit to a 'friendship circle' - just because someone already has a few friends, it does not mean that they are not willing to have a new friend joining their ranks. Everyone is different and makes friends in a different way!

I, for example, have always been very shy on top of being an introvert and I have always found myself with only a couple of friends at a time. I am now 30 and I still only have one or two friends I know I can count on, in addition to my partner and family. And that is enough for me.

Finally, with a few exceptions to the rule, deeper connections do not happen overnight - it takes years of a mutual effort to create a deep, long-lasting bond with people. And even then, that does not mean you will be friends forever. People change, life gets in the way, things happen. It is about the journey, not only the destination

Always be kind to everyone around you and treat everyone equally and with respect. My tip would be to not just focus on people on your year - friends can be made anywhere and everywhere. Join groups, clubs and/or activities where you are more likely to find people with interests similar to yours - be it books, movie, music, games, a sport etc.

Specific interest facebook groups and volunteering (or even starting your own volunteering project) can be great ways of connecting with new people and having something in common.

Speak to your teachers, see if there are any ways you could make your school 'community' better and more inclusive, come up with volunteer project or a new hobbies club - the opportunities to make friends are endless, all it takes is a bit of effort and of course, time.

And most importantly, don't be so hard on yourself! Just be who you are and similar people will eventually gravitate towards you (or you towards them).

xxx
Thank you so much for your advice! I'm trying to emotionally detach myself from them bit by bit though it's really hard as I feel lonely. I'll try maybe the lower years? I know some people in the year below. Thanks again.

I really just need to become mentally strong.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#6
Bump, any advice for becoming mentally strong enough to cut people off
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SoulfulTwist
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#7
Report 2 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Bump, any advice for becoming mentally strong enough to cut people off
Depends why you are cutting them off.
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oglez92
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Some of my best friends have come from getting involved with playing rugby when I was younger, and now through music! Is it possible for you to do the same? What things are you most interested in?
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ArhiaC
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#9
Report 2 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know I'm unappreciated in my friendship circle in school and feel like an outsider. I can't really make close connections to others in my year right now because everyone already has their own friendship circle.

I need new friends and eventhough my social skills have improved I feel like I sabotage myself by acting awkward around people. It feels like it's hard to make a deeper connection with people as I've been told I'm quite friendly but I can only make surface level friendships.

I want to have friends with people with similar interests and who I can hang out with or go places with. I'm still new on my journey of "levelling up".

Any advice please?
I know how you feelπŸ˜”. I think I don't have a place in this "Friendship Area" πŸ˜…
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#10
(Original post by oglez92)
Some of my best friends have come from getting involved with playing rugby when I was younger, and now through music! Is it possible for you to do the same? What things are you most interested in?
Hmmm I've tried joining discord groups though it's hard to make friends on there but it's worth still trying.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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