My dad abuses me and my siblings

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Hi, that seems like the best option, so will we be put into foster care? Will we get separated?

I believe the best option would be to live with a relative, so as long as they support you and not them. Have any that would support you and let you live there? More importantly, do you trust any of them and get along with them?

In care homes, you stay together. Once you find a foster family, the family can either accept all of your siblings and you, or you may be separated. However, in your case, here is what I would do. Let us say you do move into foster care. You need to wait unitl you turn 18, so that you can go to university and hopefully move in to accommodation. If possible, see if you can move into accommodation so that your sisters can move in with you. However, this will be very difficult to manage, since you will have to be their mother, as well as continue your studies, and also work a part-time job to earn enough money to put on top of your maintenance loan to live well. If you have anyone you can stay with, seek those options first.

Reply 21

tsukife

aw man i am so sorry :/

Reply 22

Anonymous #1

Original post by curbyourfeminism

Hi,

I would rather move in with a relative than be put in to foster care, as I want to hopefully study at Uni in a few years time - honestly anything is better than the crisis we are in right now with abuse etc.

Reply 23

curbyourfeminism

Original post by Anonymous

What relatives are available? Do you have any that are the same age as you? If you tell them, they can tell their parents and so everything will be so much smoother. You and your sisters get to stay together, you and them still go to school and live a happy life.

Reply 24

Anonymous #1

Original post by curbyourfeminism

Hi, I have an older cousin who is 19, she lives a distance away also but we don’t talk often.

Reply 25

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Hi,

My mom abuses us also, especially when she is drunk, she can get aggressive quickly and it’s scary, my sisters often cry themselves to sleep because of it - it’s that bad. My dad threatens me if I tell social services about all this - that’s why I’m so scared.

I think you should contact your school first and see what they do next so it is out of your hands. I'm so sorry to hear this, but you need to contact the school asap, i can promise you they will help xx

Reply 26

curbyourfeminism

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I have an older cousin who is 19, she lives a distance away also but we don’t talk often.

Hmm. Any close friends that have enough space for you and your sisters? Preferably, your friend's parents would be earning a lot of money to uphold the cost of you living there. However, it should not be too much, since you may already have clothes. All your cost would be is products and food. If you wish, you can get a part-time job to cover your personal expenses, as well as your sisters. If you get a part-time job where you earn £100 a week, that should be enough for you and your sisters to cover toiletries and essentials while you live at your friend's house.

Reply 27

Anonymous #1

Original post by curbyourfeminism

Okay I will look into that.

Reply 28

shebk

I'm sorry to hear that.
Are you a girl? Does your father abuse you sexually?
You father often hits you, for what reason or no reason?
Does this abuse affect you and your sisters study?

Reply 29

Anonymous #1

Hi, A quick update - I reported this to my school and me and my sisters have been put into emergency care for the weekend at least - however it’s a long way from my school so it’s unlikely I can attend again right now.

It’s been a scary day but glad to escape my abusive parents for good.

Reply 30

Muttley79

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, How do I contact social services? I don’t want my parents to hear me calling them? It will make them worse.

Tell a teacher and they will do it for you :smile:

Safeguarding is taken VERY seriously.

Reply 31

Muttley79

Original post by Anonymous

Well done for doing that ... you will be found a school as soon as they have found a foster home for you.

Reply 32

ANM775

Original post by Anonymous

part of the reason he threatens you because he wants to continue hitting you and getting away with it.
at the moment he can beat you at will and no one is doing anything. and if you don't tell someone it will continue and you will get more scared and hurt over the years, i guarantee it.

I'm sorry to say this, but listening to your situation.. he isn't just going to change his ways of his own free will by himself. he is either going to have to be forced by social services to change his ways, or you will need to be removed from his care.

Reply 33

boffanan

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear this. Just for your information and for anyone else who may stumble across this page seeking help- I'm a secondary school teacher - your school will and should take this very, very seriously. Speak to an adult you trust in the school as soon as possible and get the support and help you need. Schools have an incredible amount of focus and training on this sort of thing and we are told its all of our responsibility. We are duty bound to inform the safeguarding team and, once its with them, they should do everything possible to keep you safe. Please speak to a trusted adult in the school urgently.

Reply 34

Dearden2007

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I’m 16 and I live with my 3 sisters with my Mom and Dad, we are all different ages my youngest sibling is 8.

My and our home life is very unstable and my Dad continually hits, and abuses us. He shouts all alongside punches me. He accuses me of being bad - when I’m not. We all live in fear and the only reason I like school is I feel safe?

I want to tell my school or social services but not sure how to tell them or if they will take me seriously? I just want some help :frown:

Ive been in your shoes before! And I know what its like to be told by others, "Just get over it" or they say things like "No way, thats not true, he would never treat you that way"

Let me be perfectly clear! If you feel unsafe by any means or any stretch of the imagination and the other parent (your Mom) isn't standing up for you or putting a stop to it! Shes probably afraid of him too! So my best option for you is next time he gets abusive! Let him, fight back, do anything you can to upset him and if he puts any SINGLE bruise or mark on you whatsoever, go straight to the police station, talk to a counselor at school, call 911!

And if they do nothing either, if the police do absolutely nothing to help you! Then I would write a letter to every counselor, your principle, everything! I also would from this day forward take notes after every encounter, write down details, dates, timestamp everything! Take pictures, record audio of every interaction! Use a tablet your cell phone anything and record the audio of every single encounter! Because you saying that there is abuse means nothing to anyone! Because they are gonna look at you like your just a teen who didn't get her way or his way! Sorry I don't know if your a young man or a young woman! But if you have video, audio, and notations of every interaction! I gaurantee you, they will not take it lightly! Send everything you have notations, videos, audio, everything post it privately on youtube so ONLY you can see it! That way if someone whats proof you can send them the link to the video and no one can question your claims of abuse!

Hope this helps! Be safe!!!!