Starting uni with someone who hates me

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
I had a friend in sixth form who I had a falling out with and since then has been saying some pretty nasty stuff. I had to move schools for a little bit. Now i found out that she is going to the same uni as me, even on the same course. I'm scared and don't know how to handle this. I'm scared I can't reinvent myself or make friends with her there and I don't know how to take so many people hating me again.
Any advice?
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Kerzen
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#2
Report 3 weeks ago
#2
What is this person saying about you?
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becausethenight
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#3
Report 3 weeks ago
#3
I'm sorry to hear that you're in this situation :hugs:

The first thing I can say is that it probably won't be as bad as you think! When I moved sixth forms I was really upset as a girl who'd bullied me was moving to the same sixth form, and even taking one of the same subjects, but when I got there I never saw her. She even tried to badmouth me to other students :rolleyes:, but I still made some really amazing friends and as far as I can tell no one listened to her really, so it can be possible to avoid people and just not let them bother you. Depending on what you're studying and where, your cohort could be in the hundreds, so even if you're on the same degree you can avoid her.

Secondly I do think it's worth pointing out that even if she tries to get everyone to hate you - she won't be able to. Uni is a very different environment to secondary school and it's so much harder to ostracise someone because the place is so damn large, and everyone's coming from a different background and not just going to listen to some random other fresher.

Obviously none of this will necessarily make you less worried, so it might be worth thinking about what your plans are to deal with her (eg if she tried to talk to you, what would you do?) and to make sure you meet lots of people and establish yourself socially - TSR may well have a thread for your course, or your uni may have organised things.

:goodluck: - you can do this! Don't let her ruin your uni before you even get there!
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999tigger
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#4
Report 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I had a friend in sixth form who I had a falling out with and since then has been saying some pretty nasty stuff. I had to move schools for a little bit. Now i found out that she is going to the same uni as me, even on the same course. I'm scared and don't know how to handle this. I'm scared I can't reinvent myself or make friends with her there and I don't know how to take so many people hating me again.
Any advice?
Depends, probbaly agree with #3.

Again depending on the course uni is a big place unlikely you will have to see her.
If you are that worried then I would inform your department and tutor to put them on alaert just in case anything starts up.
If she did start anything, then complain and get her dealt with, but have evidence i.e screenshots. Uni wont put up with it if theres bullying going on and you cna prove it.

The alternatives are to take a gap or move unis.
Sounds like you had a rough time, so besides warning uni and welfare support. I think you cna give it a go.
Keep a diary and then any evidence messages etc keep and forward on to the department.
Dont engage her at all.
With cv19 your main friends are really going to be flatmates.
For tutorials if you speak to your tutor then they may be able to make sure you arent in the same group.

Those are the precuations I would put in place.

Just adding its most likely lectures are online.
Just take it seriously and immediately explain the issue to course organiser and tutor so you can avoid being in the same group, then cv19 might mean you hardly ever encounter her on course. Bit strange it would be the same uni and same course. Do as I say and take it seriously , then relax. Sounds like you were really bullied before, but you cna play uni differently. remember no one else on the course knows anything about you.
Last edited by 999tigger; 3 weeks ago
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