Online friend won’t talk yet.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
So I have an online friend I met around one year ago. We been talking just casually but quite often on discord since we made a gc with a few other ppl.

So I heard her voice once before on voice call. As she did talk to us. However after that day she never did it again. And it’s been a year. We use to always request that she would talk however she never seems to want to or she is shy.

Ofc now we don’t want to force her since she may just genuinely be shy. I am quite close with her in a sense that we talk a lot, and she does occasionally ask for advice privately. However Till this day she still hasn’t spoke to us on voice call.

She also mentioned how she was comfortable in the beginning with being in the gc since she felt rlly awkward. And she was only there because of me since she felt comfortable with me. Now she is rlly active on the gc and talks everyday.

I was wondering if u guys think that after a few more months or even a year eventually she will decide to get involved with our voice calls. She joins our calls but remains on mute and messages in the chat while on voice call.

Ofc I’m willing to give her as much time as she needs. But do u think eventually she will have the confidence to do so? Because I rlly want to her to stay an online friend and possibly one day meet because she is honestly lovely and rlly nice. Gives very good advice too.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 1 month ago
#2
Yeah she might do in the future - some people take longer to open up than others. Or maybe she hates her voice - I hate doing voice calls because I sound like a 10 year old and so I prefer to chat as well - she may just be embarrassed by it. The fact that she still messages on the chat suggests to me that this might be the case! Or maybe she's a catfish? Who knows. Discord is weird though because there are so many catfishes. You can literally enter their photos into google reverse image search and it will be some blurry stock photo from 2010.

My guesses:
1. shy
2. insecure
3. a catfish

Personally, I think she's just insecure and/or shy
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah she might do in the future - some people take longer to open up than others. Or maybe she hates her voice - I hate doing voice calls because I sound like a 10 year old and so I prefer to chat as well - she may just be embarrassed by it. The fact that she still messages on the chat suggests to me that this might be the case! Or maybe she's a catfish? Who knows. Discord is weird though because there are so many catfishes. You can literally enter their photos into google reverse image search and it will be some blurry stock photo from 2010.

My guesses:
1. shy
2. insecure
3. a catfish

Personally, I think she's just insecure and/or shy
* so many catfish
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah she might do in the future - some people take longer to open up than others. Or maybe she hates her voice - I hate doing voice calls because I sound like a 10 year old and so I prefer to chat as well - she may just be embarrassed by it. The fact that she still messages on the chat suggests to me that this might be the case! Or maybe she's a catfish? Who knows. Discord is weird though because there are so many catfishes. You can literally enter their photos into google reverse image search and it will be some blurry stock photo from 2010.

My guesses:
1. shy
2. insecure
3. a catfish

Personally, I think she's just insecure and/or shy
Yeah my bet is also insecure or shy. As she has spoken before and sent me a few pictures but with her covering half her face. And I did reverse search on google and nothing came up. So I’m sure she isn’t. But I just hope she opens up soon.
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ByEeek
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#5
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Sounds like a lot of effort for not much in return. You must have the patience of a saint!

Are there not any "real" people in your life you could focus on?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ByEeek)
Sounds like a lot of effort for not much in return. You must have the patience of a saint!

Are there not any "real" people in your life you could focus on?
Well. I do and I show them a lot of time. However I also give a lot of time to that gc. Idk why I do it tbh.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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I’m sorry for reviving this chat thread again. But for my birthday she drew me a personalised Picture which was suppose to be her and she made it personal to myself. Like this is a rlly amazing drawing and you can tell this took a lot of time to make. And I know she made it since it was personalised.

So taking this into consideration, I believe she does care about our friendship and she genuinely likes me as a friend. (Who would go out of their way and send 5 hours on a drawing for someone online?).

But even so she refuses to talk on voice call and says she can’t. I always ask and she always says “idk” or when I suggest things such as “are you shy?” Or is it “overwhelming having an online friend?”. She normally says no. But she did admit she is shy.

I don’t mind waiting for her to open up in her own time. I don’t wanna force her. However how long should I give it before it would be wise to give up?. We have lots of fun texting and making jokes while sharing memes. And I would HATE to lose her.

And if she isn’t speaking to me on vc does that mean she doesn’t actually value the friendship?
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DiddyDec
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#8
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#8
I wouldn't be concerned about it, I have a friend that I been messaging for 4+ years and we have never spoken with voice chat. I have even met her in real life but she isn't a fan of vc and that is ok.

I would never ditch a good friend because they aren't comfortable using voice chat.
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Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#9
(Original post by DiddyDec)
I wouldn't be concerned about it, I have a friend that I been messaging for 4+ years and we have never spoken with voice chat. I have even met her in real life but she isn't a fan of vc and that is ok.

I would never ditch a good friend because they aren't comfortable using voice chat.
Oh, so your saying that You can still have a good friendship and meet them without having to vc?
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DiddyDec
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh, so your saying that You can still have a good friendship and meet them without having to vc?
Yes.
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Mesopotamian.
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m sorry for reviving this chat thread again. But for my birthday she drew me a personalised Picture which was suppose to be her and she made it personal to myself. Like this is a rlly amazing drawing and you can tell this took a lot of time to make. And I know she made it since it was personalised.

So taking this into consideration, I believe she does care about our friendship and she genuinely likes me as a friend. (Who would go out of their way and send 5 hours on a drawing for someone online?).

But even so she refuses to talk on voice call and says she can’t. I always ask and she always says “idk” or when I suggest things such as “are you shy?” Or is it “overwhelming having an online friend?”. She normally says no. But she did admit she is shy.

I don’t mind waiting for her to open up in her own time. I don’t wanna force her. However how long should I give it before it would be wise to give up?. We have lots of fun texting and making jokes while sharing memes. And I would HATE to lose her.

And if she isn’t speaking to me on vc does that mean she doesn’t actually value the friendship?
I personally don’t see an issue here. She’s obviously a good friend and you have a good relationship with her. She simply doesn't like voice messaging. It’s just a personal preference e.g. she might not like the sound of her voice or some other reason.

I’m like that too - my friends sometimes voice message me but I rarely ever do and I don’t like calling people either, I prefer texting.
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MadameRazz
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#12
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i dont even vc/ft with people i know in real life never mind people i know online lmao. some people just find it an uncomfortable thing to do, it doesnt mean she doesn’t value your friendship and thinking like this will only end up ruining the friendship in the end.

i dont vc with one of my closest online friends bc i just hate actually Talking (lol) but we meet up a lot sooo.
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Plain1
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#13
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I have friends in America that I met online. I've known them about 10 years and never voice chatted. We are all comfortable with text. They're amazing friends. It's not that this person doesn't value your friendship, they're probably just shy. I would have said a possible catfish but you've heard their voice already.
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Malibuqueen
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If you've heard her voice before, she's clearly not a catfish. So she might just either be insecure/very shy/awkward. Plus some people just aren't a fan of voicechatting
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Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#15
(Original post by Malibuqueen)
If you've heard her voice before, she's clearly not a catfish. So she might just either be insecure/very shy/awkward. Plus some people just aren't a fan of voicechatting
Oh alright I understand. It’s probs being insecure
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khadijaaaxxxx
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#16
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#16
i hate vc sm so she might just be insecure and shy
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by khadijaaaxxxx)
i hate vc sm so she might just be insecure and shy
Most likely
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Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#18
Ok so quick update. She introduced me to her irl friends where I was able to talk with them on voice chat. So I can now confirm she isn’t a catfish. So it just leaves it at insecure. I mean since she did decide to Introduce me to her irl friends it kinda suggests that she does care and stuff. But now my question is what’s the best thing to do now? How can I encourage her to talk?? Her friends do it but she doesn’t?. Is there a way to help her become less insecure or shy?
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MadameRazz
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so quick update. She introduced me to her irl friends where I was able to talk with them on voice chat. So I can now confirm she isn’t a catfish. So it just leaves it at insecure. I mean since she did decide to Introduce me to her irl friends it kinda suggests that she does care and stuff. But now my question is what’s the best thing to do now? How can I encourage her to talk?? Her friends do it but she doesn’t?. Is there a way to help her become less insecure or shy?
leave her be. if she doesn’t want to talk, she doesn’t want to talk. if you push her or “encourage” her, she’ll just get annoyed. if you can’t respect her choice to not want to talk, then that makes you the bad friend.
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gullasa
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#20
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#20
How did you meet her?
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