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In a Relationship and Bored

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Reply 20

Anonymous
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now. Although i love him, i have felt bored for the last couple of months. the sex isn't great (in fact, its pretty average), he never treats me or buys me anything, and sometimes i just find him generally annoying and would rather be doing other things than being with him. having said that, he is a lovely person and has provided me with a lot of emotional support since we have been dating, which i'll always be grateful for.

the thing is i'm in a bit of a dilemma because we have exactly the same friends, so if i dump him i'd still have to see him all the time, which would be pretty awkward. plus i don't like being single and worry everything will be 10 times worse if we split up. aww i just don't know what to do :frown:


why don't you go on a wee break, it might help you figure out how you actually feel about him.

i was in a similar position a while ago, it got to the stage where i was kinda bored and it didnt actually feel like we were in a relationship. So i decided to kinda confront the situation, he felt exactly the same but didn't want to say anything. So we went on a break, i went on holiday for a couple of weeks and we txtd randomly. When i got back, i think we had both realised that we were better friends. The thing is we'r both in the same year, doing the same course at uni, and have the same group of friends. i am kinda worried going back to uni, but i think it'l be fine. we'r still close and talk loads...

i guess if it's a mutual decision it will work out ok, but if he doesn't feel the same, it might be a bit tricky!

Reply 21

Anonymous
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now. Although i love him, i have felt bored for the last couple of months. the sex isn't great (in fact, its pretty average), he never treats me or buys me anything, and sometimes i just find him generally annoying and would rather be doing other things than being with him. having said that, he is a lovely person and has provided me with a lot of emotional support since we have been dating, which i'll always be grateful for.

the thing is i'm in a bit of a dilemma because we have exactly the same friends, so if i dump him i'd still have to see him all the time, which would be pretty awkward. plus i don't like being single and worry everything will be 10 times worse if we split up. aww i just don't know what to do :frown:


That's quite a selfish reason not to break up with your boyfriend but you're obviously troubled with your relationship and have sought help from TSR-ers so I won't criticise.

You've mentioned that you love him and from what I can tell from your post, you're probably missing the sparks which you get when you've just entered into a new relationship. Instead of worrying about this on your own, have you tried talking about this with your bf? The two of you are involved in this relationship so he has the right to know what you've been thinking and also the two of you should be given a chance to work this out together.

You seem to be leaning towards the decision of dumping him though if you're already thinking about how awkward it would be as you have mutual friends.

Anyway, give him a chance. He sounds like a sweet guy. He's always given you emotional support, hasn't he?

Reply 22

You obviously want a serious relationship and he is obviously not perfect for you, if he was he would be your best friend and youd hate times away from him rather than with him. thats how it is with me and my GF both ways so as hard as it sound, seem like you need to keep looking :frown:

Reply 23

Tell him what the problem is. Say you don't think its working as a relationship but you think it would be good as just friends.

Reply 24

OP: My ex-girlfriend and I were in a similar situation (almost identical infact, except I did / bought / treated her to a lot of things). She told me she was bored and I agreed as we were in a 'routine'. We broke up two weeks ago (we were together for around 1 year 10 months) because of this.

Her friends were also basically mine. I was a year older than her and all my friends went to Uni. and I only kept in contact with one or two of them, so her friends became mine.

Have you told your boyfriend how you feel? What hurt me the most is she was bored for a while and didn't tell me - yet in my mind we were perfectly happy and nothing was wrong. If you don't speak to your boyfriend about this, things will continue as they are.

Reply 25

OP:

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years (almost) and I cannot say it has been an easy ride where we always kept eachother entertained. I have found we have so far gone through 3 'dry patches' in our relationship where we have been bored in the relationship. The thing is, we worked at it, our problem was we never went out together, we lived together and got into a routine... sex was the same, and only about a couple of times a week at the most. We talked about it though, and figured out we both felt the same... that we loved eachother more than anything and couldn't live without eachother... we just needed to shake things up.

Anyway, what my point is... if you love him enough and really want to make it work with him: TALK TO HIM about it. Staying with him because you share the same friends or because you're scared to be single is not a reason to be with someone, you should love him... every couple has there 'dry patches' (even though some will never admit it), no relationship is perfect, the key is to work at it... eventually all men will submit to the power of women and we'll be able to mould our perfect man through marriage! :p: hahahaaa, but until then, no man is perfect.... the key is to weigh up the good vs. bad times... and if one out weighs the other, you should know what u want!

Good luck :smile:

Reply 26

No harm in giving it a shot and trying to make it work. If it does then great. If it doesn't then at least you can say you tried.

Reply 27

I'm having the same problem. My other half and I have been together a couple of years, we now live together at Uni and I just feel like we're hardly in a relationship any more. We don't really go on dates or out to do fun stuff even though I keep suggesting it, we rarely have sex and to be honest I feel like I could be happier.

The problem is she doesn't seem unhappy at all, and I feel like I don't want to cause the stress and upset of breaking up when there isn't a major problem. Like, we never even argue.

Also..... we live together and with three of our mutual friends, so it would obviously have an effect on them

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