listen to me carefully, I'm no dietitian or anything but I definitely have had a bad relationship with food since year 8, I'm in year 12 now and I'm doing pretty good but there is always room for improvement. Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm a 100% vegan now and I've never been more proud but it took me several tries to get here and I'm going to help you best I can, as I said I'm not an expert but it's definitely worth a try. so what I understood is that you straight away tried to go on an extensive diet and cut off Alcohol completely, personally I think that is where U went wrong. Don't rush your weight loss journey. Even if you do lose a little weight just eating salads you'll gain all of it back. what I think you should do is start small. Start replacing your favourite foods with healthier options, this way you and your body will be satisfied and you won't binge. For example, replacing regular pasta with lentil pasta, if U are on a budget make your own pasta, replace regular rice w/ cauliflower rice all of these options 50% if not less fat and taste just as good. have a salad for maximum one meal of the day but make your own sauce using mustard, honey, vinegar, lemon. store-bought sauces are NOT HEALTHY whatsoever.for the alcohol part just start by toning it down. these are my tips. I hope I helped even a little.