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Is this a good apology letter?

Hey,

Is this ok to give to my SENCo? She doesn't seem to like anything I say at the moment so I thought I'd write it in a letter!

Thanks!

Here it is!
:smile:

Dear Mrs Miller,

I’m really sorry for what I emailed on Thursday. I now realise that you would have taken it the wrong way, even though it wasn’t meant like that. I’m extremely sorry that I wrote it like that.

I understand that email would have been a complete shock to you. I honestly didn’t think you would interpret the email like I was attacking you, I’m really really sorry. It was only ever meant to be a polite inquisitive question.

I feel that there are parts of my ASD (and PDA) you don’t like. My stimming (rocking, chanting & twisting), to me, feels like you think it’s a bad thing as you have classed me as too ‘unstable’ or ‘ill’ to be at school because I showed these stims. My demand avoidance also seems, to me, to be something you don’t like. My constant avoiding what you (and others) say and trying to ‘break’ or ‘bend’ rules frequently seems, to me, to annoy you. I know you don’t ever want or mean it to come across like that, but that’s what it feels like sometimes.

I’m also really sorry I said you made my anxiety worse. You don’t ever make it worse; you only make it better. I just sometimes feel let down by you; But that’s not because of you, it’s because my expectations are sometimes rather high because of the level of support I had last year.

I really regret how I worded the email and how I went about speaking to you about it.
Once again, I am really sorry.

Please forgive me,

Emily

Reply 3

jackien1

Original post by Anonymous

I feel that there are parts of my ASD (and PDA) you don’t like. My stimming (rocking, chanting & twisting), to me, feels like you think it’s a bad thing as you have classed me as too ‘unstable’ or ‘ill’ to be at school because I showed these stims. My demand avoidance also seems, to me, to be something you don’t like. My constant avoiding what you (and others) say and trying to ‘break’ or ‘bend’ rules frequently seems, to me, to annoy you. I know you don’t ever want or mean it to come across like that, but that’s what it feels like sometimes.

A little unclearly worded imo, but gets the point across. 'Demand avoidance' I don't really get, but if it's a term she's aware of then ok.

Original post by Anonymous

You don’t ever make it worse; you only make it better.

Kinda seems like you're trying to backtrack and overcompensate for what you said.

Original post by Anonymous

I just sometimes feel let down by you; But that’s not because of you, it’s because my expectations are sometimes rather high because of the level of support I had last year.

Oooooof, passive aggressively putting her down.

Original post by Anonymous

Please forgive me,

No, say: 'I hope you can forgive me'.

Reply 4

Ivartheboneless

I don't know why you're apologising to a senco for your behaviour part of your ASD and PDA. She might have issues of her own that mean she might be more irritable or find others less tolerable (nothing to do with you).

She should be already aware of any adversities you might present socially. I don't think you need to send her another email, she should just already have empathy for your situation. I wouldn't worry.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Ivartheboneless

I know but shes the key to my school support. She can take it away if she wants. I don't really have a choice.
Maybe after this, she'll support me like my EHCP states!

Reply 6

Ivartheboneless

Original post by Anonymous

I know but shes the key to my school support. She can take it away if she wants. I don't really have a choice.
Maybe after this, she'll support me like my EHCP states!

I know how you feel ie feeling dependant on her for support. She isn't the answer talk with her when you next see her. I wouldn't admit to faults you're not at fault for emails, as they are legal reciepts.

If anything i would say: you don't feel compatible with her, you just find away to make sure your EHCP is enforced other than through her. Don't provide scapegoats for her behaviour. She is there to do a job. If anything you shouldn't have to feel apologetic the way you do for presenting symptoms of ASD and PDA with a senco.

You can always cc your headteacher to make sure you're raising concerns with her, but I would talk in person with her before you do as it is considered polite. You might find her reassuring and empathetic if you talk with her, after all it is her job.