Insta likes in a relationship bad ??

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Anonymous #1
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I’m a very conscious person and really struggle with body image and all my boyfriend does is like pictures of girls that just look nothing like me me and him have previously gotten into some arguments about it because he’s not respecting it and my feeling. He has previously spoken to a girl behind my back and we are still working on that and as in we I mean me. I working on getting over that but I can’t help but still look at her Instagram and think about what did she do that I didn’t because this all happened when I was going through a hard depression time and this girl gain feelings for him through messages and she threatened to kill her self he stop it when she sent nudes because he realised then it was wrong but he wasn’t even gonna tell me I only knew cause I found out through Instagram dms from the girl so now everytime some stranger messages me on Instagram it give me a panic attack because I think it’s happening again. But he liked this picture of girl recently (different girl) and I pointed it out and he said she’s gross so I said why’s you like and she’s literally your type on paper and he’s such a hypocrite cause he’s literally called her his friend sent her kisses and checked on her before but now he’s calling her gross cause I pointed it out ??
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username5389740
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You are clearly overreacting at him liking other people's posts, you sound controlling.
Why did you take him back after speaking to someone behind your back?
Err, is he friends with the girl? The kisses are a bit of a thing to notice unless of course they're close. How long have they known each other?
Also, how did you find the dms? Were you seriously looking through his phone? :lolwut:
This relationship sounds like a mess. You need to sit down and reconsider this relationship, or in the very least have a serious talk between the two of you.
Last edited by username5389740; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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No I didn’t go through his phone the girl he spoke told me on Instagram what he did he wasn’t even gonna tell me and he doesn’t even send kisses to me
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Tiff_94
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I think it’s very disrespectful to like pictures on Instagram when your in a relationship. I would say don’t over react - don’t end the relationship with him yet or do not argue with him. Explain properly how you feel and that is disrespectful and if he doesn’t understand then I would say you have you answer and move on to someone who does respect you
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Blueclueless
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m a very conscious person and really struggle with body image and all my boyfriend does is like pictures of girls that just look nothing like me me and him have previously gotten into some arguments about it because he’s not respecting it and my feeling. He has previously spoken to a girl behind my back and we are still working on that and as in we I mean me. I working on getting over that but I can’t help but still look at her Instagram and think about what did she do that I didn’t because this all happened when I was going through a hard depression time and this girl gain feelings for him through messages and she threatened to kill her self he stop it when she sent nudes because he realised then it was wrong but he wasn’t even gonna tell me I only knew cause I found out through Instagram dms from the girl so now everytime some stranger messages me on Instagram it give me a panic attack because I think it’s happening again. But he liked this picture of girl recently (different girl) and I pointed it out and he said she’s gross so I said why’s you like and she’s literally your type on paper and he’s such a hypocrite cause he’s literally called her his friend sent her kisses and checked on her before but now he’s calling her gross cause I pointed it out ??
This guy sounds like a cheating *******. Liking insta pics is not a bad thing in itself but if it’s images of girls constantly and youve said how it makes you uncomfortable it’s clear he doesn’t care about your feelings
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Blueclueless)
This guy sounds like a cheating *******. Liking insta pics is not a bad thing in itself but if it’s images of girls constantly and youve said how it makes you uncomfortable it’s clear he doesn’t care about your feelings
Thank you I just don’t want to feel crazy or like im being stupid about it
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Blueclueless
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you I just don’t want to feel crazy or like im being stupid about it
You’re definitely not, I’ve been I n a relationship for 5 years and I’ve had talks about this kind of thing with him in the past and he made the effort to change.

The biggest red flag here isn’t the photos themself but his attitude. He’s doing something that he knows upsets you, doesn’t care and has already cheated on the past this all adds up into a red flag the size of a house lol.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Blueclueless)
You’re definitely not, I’ve been I n a relationship for 5 years and I’ve had talks about this kind of thing with him in the past and he made the effort to change.

The biggest red flag here isn’t the photos themself but his attitude. He’s doing something that he knows upsets you, doesn’t care and has already cheated on the past this all adds up into a red flag the size of a house lol.
I addressed it and let’s just say we got absolutely no where, I cried and told him about how it made me feel and he acted like a complete ********. The whole time with a smile on his face such a prick I said how it makes me feel abs just because he didn’t understand he didn’t see the problem then he made fun of it saying so if I like a picture of my mate does that make me gay. It frustrates me soooooo much i gave up trying to explain because he devalued my feelings and the importance I even told him that just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean those feelings don’t matter. I feel like a joke to him every time I get upset I feel like he’s laughing at me. I’ve spoken to his mum and she said he’ll grow out of it but like your old enough comon but she said it was the same with his dad at first.
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username5447420
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I addressed it and let’s just say we got absolutely no where, I cried and told him about how it made me feel and he acted like a complete ********. The whole time with a smile on his face such a prick I said how it makes me feel abs just because he didn’t understand he didn’t see the problem then he made fun of it saying so if I like a picture of my mate does that make me gay. It frustrates me soooooo much i gave up trying to explain because he devalued my feelings and the importance I even told him that just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean those feelings don’t matter. I feel like a joke to him every time I get upset I feel like he’s laughing at me. I’ve spoken to his mum and she said he’ll grow out of it but like your old enough comon but she said it was the same with his dad at first.
Sounds l like an *******, move on. relationships are about compromise, if you don't like something to the point that it makes you insecure or gives you poor mental health, it's your partner's responsibility to compromise and make changes to improve things and vice versa. If he's laughing at you and refusing to stop then what else will he do the same with in the future?

I agree with

(Original post by Blueclueless)
You’re definitely not, I’ve been I n a relationship for 5 years and I’ve had talks about this kind of thing with him in the past and he made the effort to change.

The biggest red flag here isn’t the photos themself but his attitude. He’s doing something that he knows upsets you, doesn’t care and has already cheated on the past this all adds up into a red flag the size of a house lol.
It's a huge red flag of a serious personality flaw. I can speak from experience, men can change but it takes years for us to learn. Do you have that much time to give?
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saji13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I addressed it and let’s just say we got absolutely no where, I cried and told him about how it made me feel and he acted like a complete ********. The whole time with a smile on his face such a prick I said how it makes me feel abs just because he didn’t understand he didn’t see the problem then he made fun of it saying so if I like a picture of my mate does that make me gay. It frustrates me soooooo much i gave up trying to explain because he devalued my feelings and the importance I even told him that just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean those feelings don’t matter. I feel like a joke to him every time I get upset I feel like he’s laughing at me. I’ve spoken to his mum and she said he’ll grow out of it but like your old enough comon but she said it was the same with his dad at first.
That's such a messed up thing to do, if he hadn't any care or sensitivity to your feelings even after you directly addressed them to him, then he doesn't deserve to be in a relationship with you. Remember respect is a key value in a rs and is that is gone then I wouldn't suggest you invest in him at all. Your feelings are important and should be cared for x
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saji13
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(Original post by jacobf91)
Sounds l like an *******, move on. relationships are about compromise, if you don't like something to the point that it makes you insecure or gives you poor mental health, it's your partner's responsibility to compromise and make changes to improve things and vice versa. If he's laughing at you and refusing to stop then what else will he do the same with in the future?

I agree with



It's a huge red flag of a serious personality flaw. I can speak from experience, men can change but it takes years for us to learn. Do you have that much time to give?
I agree with you 100%
How much time can you give?
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NonIndigenous
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m a very conscious person and really struggle with body image and all my boyfriend does is like pictures of girls that just look nothing like me me and him have previously gotten into some arguments about it because he’s not respecting it and my feeling. He has previously spoken to a girl behind my back and we are still working on that and as in we I mean me. I working on getting over that but I can’t help but still look at her Instagram and think about what did she do that I didn’t because this all happened when I was going through a hard depression time and this girl gain feelings for him through messages and she threatened to kill her self he stop it when she sent nudes because he realised then it was wrong but he wasn’t even gonna tell me I only knew cause I found out through Instagram dms from the girl so now everytime some stranger messages me on Instagram it give me a panic attack because I think it’s happening again. But he liked this picture of girl recently (different girl) and I pointed it out and he said she’s gross so I said why’s you like and she’s literally your type on paper and he’s such a hypocrite cause he’s literally called her his friend sent her kisses and checked on her before but now he’s calling her gross cause I pointed it out ??
There's part of the reason why I usually tread carefully online and avoid this sort of stuff. This type of behavior apparently isn't infrequent online. Like, developing disproportionately strong feelings for someone, based of profile picks and shallow messaging (that can all be quite easily fabricated). Possibly because the socially anxious types like to retreat into online spaces instead of meeting people in real life, and to some extent so do toxic/narcissistic types. Anyway, it's a little complicated if I go into details and I won't bore you.

I don't like him for one key reason: he shouldn't be saying one thing to you, then doing something else. It's a fking appalling habit.
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Blueclueless
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I addressed it and let’s just say we got absolutely no where, I cried and told him about how it made me feel and he acted like a complete ********. The whole time with a smile on his face such a prick I said how it makes me feel abs just because he didn’t understand he didn’t see the problem then he made fun of it saying so if I like a picture of my mate does that make me gay. It frustrates me soooooo much i gave up trying to explain because he devalued my feelings and the importance I even told him that just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean those feelings don’t matter. I feel like a joke to him every time I get upset I feel like he’s laughing at me. I’ve spoken to his mum and she said he’ll grow out of it but like your old enough comon but she said it was the same with his dad at first.
I think you should leave him and I’ll list the reasons why:

-laughing at you when you’re crying
-being a **** about your feelings
-using unfair comparisons (manipulation google Gaslighting)
-patronising you (see gaslighting again)
-is literally just forcing you into not wanting to talk about your feelings
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ashtolga23
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First off, I completely feel you on the confidence front. I struggle with my image and Instagram can be a painful place because of it.

I don't think liking pictures is necessarily an issue, but there has to be communication and compromise. If he won't respect your feelings on this, then you might want to re-evaluate why you're with him. Would he do the same with other issues, or does he just not understand this one?
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