boyfriend doesn’t last long

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
#1
I’m beginning to hate sex as it lasts under a minute and i’m always left unsatisfied. i get excited and ready for it then i’m left feeling slightly used? used isn’t the right word bc he treats me so well and we are great together but i just don’t know what to say or how to address this.
i usually don’t let him go down as it makes me feel as if he’s only doing it bc he feels bad/guilt abt finishing quickly. It makes me feel awkward.
has anyone had any experience with this?
i have no idea what to do but i’m getting really fed up with getting excited then let down every single time
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Anonymous #2
#2
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#2
sex isn’t just the general intercourse. maybe ask if he can do other stuff to you before you get to that stage?
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candydiva
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#3
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But he is going down on her or trying to! She said so.

Girl I think you need to be patient. Dudes aren't like us. They often can't last long and it's not their fault. I hope you don't convert your own feelings of awkwardness into frustration directed at him. That will quickly ruin the greatness of sex for anyone and cause longterm issues. How does he feel about going down on you? Some of my dudes looove it!

My best guy - the mature one who is my master - does this better and for longer than any girl... pls don't tell my gfs they will not like to hear that btw He is so enthused to do it but I actually want him to take me...so we have a deal he gets to make me *** first by going down on me then I let him do whatever he likes as long as he's inside me. This lasts for absolutely ages and we both feel totally satisfied.

With younger hookups I've had to train them a little to delay and do other things. One thing that works really well is to have him masturbate to porn first, before we meet. That way his system is not at hair-trigger level and he'll be in the mood to go slower and last longer. You can then ask him to show you the porn he used. You cannot do this if you're judgmental about him doing it but if you're open I'm sure you'll find it works a treat...yeah I know I am saying that porn can save your sex life and his and that this is the opposite to normal TSR "wisdom" lol! But I'll bet I have one of the best sex lives of anyone on this board and it's because I've learned to do what's right for me and my partners and not follow "convention"
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Refuser
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#4
Report 9 months ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m beginning to hate sex as it lasts under a minute and i’m always left unsatisfied. i get excited and ready for it then i’m left feeling slightly used? used isn’t the right word bc he treats me so well and we are great together but i just don’t know what to say or how to address this.
i usually don’t let him go down as it makes me feel as if he’s only doing it bc he feels bad/guilt abt finishing quickly. It makes me feel awkward.
has anyone had any experience with this?
i have no idea what to do but i’m getting really fed up with getting excited then let down every single time
I last long, ditch him come to me
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
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he likes going down and initiates it a lot. however when he initiates it AFTER the sex i always feel embarrassed / awkward and guilty, as if he’s only wanting to do it bc he knows he finished quickly. As if he feels he has to do it to keep me happy but i’d just prefer he didn’t do it bc it makes me feel awkward bc he has finished and is no longer in the mood. So i usually just say no it’s fine but i’d acc really love him to!! i just know his arousal is done with so i don’t ask him to finish me when i know he won’t enjoy it as much as when he is aroused before the intercourse
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Anonymous #3
#6
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#6
Do as much foreplay as possible before the actual insertion.
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candydiva
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
he likes going down and initiates it a lot. however when he initiates it AFTER the sex i always feel embarrassed / awkward and guilty, as if he’s only wanting to do it bc he knows he finished quickly. As if he feels he has to do it to keep me happy but i’d just prefer he didn’t do it bc it makes me feel awkward bc he has finished and is no longer in the mood. So i usually just say no it’s fine but i’d acc really love him to!! i just know his arousal is done with so i don’t ask him to finish me when i know he won’t enjoy it as much as when he is aroused before the intercourse
Ah OK. So it's not that bad. If he likes going down on you to begin with then he likes it afterwards as well. I get it he's not supercharged horny because he shot his load but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to. Master does that with me too. He likes to eat me after he cums and he does it in a different way, slower, more loving, more holistic. It's marvelous to come down gently from the high like that. Sounds like he wants to and the prob is in your mind then? Maybe tlk to him ask him if he feels ok at that time. U should totally emphasize to him wot u just told the board, lol! He'll go for it. 99 to 1.
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medstudent4
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#8
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#8
(Original post by candydiva)
Ah OK. So it's not that bad. If he likes going down on you to begin with then he likes it afterwards as well. I get it he's not supercharged horny because he shot his load but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to. Master does that with me too. He likes to eat me after he cums and he does it in a different way, slower, more loving, more holistic. It's marvelous to come down gently from the high like that. Sounds like he wants to and the prob is in your mind then? Maybe tlk to him ask him if he feels ok at that time. U should totally emphasize to him wot u just told the board, lol! He'll go for it. 99 to 1.
(Original post by candydiva)
But he is going down on her or trying to! She said so.

Girl I think you need to be patient. Dudes aren't like us. They often can't last long and it's not their fault. I hope you don't convert your own feelings of awkwardness into frustration directed at him. That will quickly ruin the greatness of sex for anyone and cause longterm issues. How does he feel about going down on you? Some of my dudes looove it!

My best guy - the mature one who is my master - does this better and for longer than any girl... pls don't tell my gfs they will not like to hear that btw He is so enthused to do it but I actually want him to take me...so we have a deal he gets to make me *** first by going down on me then I let him do whatever he likes as long as he's inside me. This lasts for absolutely ages and we both feel totally satisfied.

With younger hookups I've had to train them a little to delay and do other things. One thing that works really well is to have him masturbate to porn first, before we meet. That way his system is not at hair-trigger level and he'll be in the mood to go slower and last longer. You can then ask him to show you the porn he used. You cannot do this if you're judgmental about him doing it but if you're open I'm sure you'll find it works a treat...yeah I know I am saying that porn can save your sex life and his and that this is the opposite to normal TSR "wisdom" lol! But I'll bet I have one of the best sex lives of anyone on this board and it's because I've learned to do what's right for me and my partners and not follow "convention"
raaah u really r enjoying yourself out ere loooool
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candydiva
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#9
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Yes I am enjoying the discussion It's great TSR is a place to be open and share these experiences for our mutual benefit. I hope OP tries some concepts to improve her situation. It really doesn't sound bad compared with lots of others.

I hope this isn't your intent in making the comment, like it should somehow be unusual enough to warrant a comment that we like sex and want to do it better.... but I learned a long time ago that people who try to shame other people during discussions about sexuality have some real problems. I can understand these topics are not everyone's cup of tea...so, if so, move along then! Leave it to the experts! If not, you can enjoy the dis with us.
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medstudent4
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(Original post by candydiva)
Yes I am enjoying the discussion It's great TSR is a place to be open and share these experiences for our mutual benefit. I hope OP tries some concepts to improve her situation. It really doesn't sound bad compared with lots of others.

I hope this isn't your intent in making the comment, like it should somehow be unusual enough to warrant a comment that we like sex and want to do it better.... but I learned a long time ago that people who try to shame other people during discussions about sexuality have some real problems. I can understand these topics are not everyone's cup of tea...so, if so, move along then! Leave it to the experts! If not, you can enjoy the dis with us.
nah im jus enjoyin reading these comments
how many inches is your 'master' packing btw
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candydiva
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#11
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(Original post by medstudent4)
nah im jus enjoyin reading these comments
how many inches is your 'master' packing btw
The "inches" obsession makes me laugh. You must be a dude coz of the way you focus on size and use the word "packing" like it's a gun... only dudes think that way....

To answer your question he's slightly above average in terms of size but he's the absolute best ever in bed. Every girl who has been with him says the exact same thing and it's not coz of size. We've talked about size in other threads. I've been with a couple of guys who were VWE and it wasn't by any means the greatest experience.
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medstudent4
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#12
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(Original post by candydiva)
The "inches" obsession makes me laugh. You must be a dude coz of the way you focus on size and use the word "packing" like it's a gun... only dudes think that way....

To answer your question he's slightly above average in terms of size but he's the absolute best ever in bed. Every girl who has been with him says the exact same thing and it's not coz of size. We've talked about size in other threads. I've been with a couple of guys who were VWE and it wasn't by any means the greatest experience.
i definitely discovering some new things on here what da clart is VWE
obvs you said he was great in bed but what about you hows your bed game lookin like
Last edited by medstudent4; 9 months ago
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candydiva
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#13
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You're a med student and you don't know VWE? = Very Well Endowed. It's a nonsexist term btw it can be used for guys (penis) and girls (breasts).
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Anonymous #4
#14
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#14
(Original post by candydiva)
But he is going down on her or trying to! She said so.

Girl I think you need to be patient. Dudes aren't like us. They often can't last long and it's not their fault. I hope you don't convert your own feelings of awkwardness into frustration directed at him. That will quickly ruin the greatness of sex for anyone and cause longterm issues. How does he feel about going down on you? Some of my dudes looove it!

My best guy - the mature one who is my master - does this better and for longer than any girl... pls don't tell my gfs they will not like to hear that btw He is so enthused to do it but I actually want him to take me...so we have a deal he gets to make me *** first by going down on me then I let him do whatever he likes as long as he's inside me. This lasts for absolutely ages and we both feel totally satisfied.

With younger hookups I've had to train them a little to delay and do other things. One thing that works really well is to have him masturbate to porn first, before we meet. That way his system is not at hair-trigger level and he'll be in the mood to go slower and last longer. You can then ask him to show you the porn he used. You cannot do this if you're judgmental about him doing it but if you're open I'm sure you'll find it works a treat...yeah I know I am saying that porn can save your sex life and his and that this is the opposite to normal TSR "wisdom" lol! But I'll bet I have one of the best sex lives of anyone on this board and it's because I've learned to do what's right for me and my partners and not follow "convention"
if only i also received some training classes from u
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candydiva
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
if only i also received some training classes from u
Thank you! I feel like I want to be helpful. U know that time in my life (midteens) was tough and looking back I see I was lucky the way things turned out with master and how things developed. But now I feel empowered and open.

I've noticed that the quick judgment calls on boards like this are reflexive and often counterproductive coz they are based on what some call "conventional wisdom" But often it's not wisdom at all, it is just handed-down prejudice that impedes our development and understanding and diminishes respect for each other's choices.

Yeah it takes [email protected] to stand up and write things like porn will help ur sex life when there is such a stigma and so many prejudices attached to it. But in this case I really believe it will help, I've seen it work before.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by candydiva)
Thank you! I feel like I want to be helpful. U know that time in my life (midteens) was tough and looking back I see I was lucky the way things turned out with master and how things developed. But now I feel empowered and open.

I've noticed that the quick judgment calls on boards like this are reflexive and often counterproductive coz they are based on what some call "conventional wisdom" But often it's not wisdom at all, it is just handed-down prejudice that impedes our development and understanding and diminishes respect for each other's choices.

Yeah it takes [email protected] to stand up and write things like porn will help ur sex life when there is such a stigma and so many prejudices attached to it. But in this case I really believe it will help, I've seen it work before.
ooofff u would be a really good teacher but im the type of student who learns practically so imma need some practical lessons b
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Apachecow
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#17
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(Original post by candydiva)
Thank you! I feel like I want to be helpful. U know that time in my life (midteens) was tough and looking back I see I was lucky the way things turned out with master and how things developed. But now I feel empowered and open.
May I ask how old you are? I think sex undoubtedly gets better with maturity and experience. As a man, you also learn control. I also have tried rating all your posts in this thread and PRSOM.

This is something that can be solved by communication, as long as he is not absolutely selfish - and it doesn't sound like he is. I'd try the following

Rule 1 - you come first, literally. He doesn't get his until you've had yours. Make him work for it and normalise getting you off. If he wants to go back down there afterwards - let him! FFS

Rule 2 - talk to him and discuss things he can do to learn to delay his orgasm. When he feels it start to build up - stop and change position. Maybe pull out and give you some attention. Even pinching the head of the penis firmly can help. All he is doing is interrupting the build up - he will likely have a better orgasm at the end of this (after extra foreplay getting you off and longer sex). It's easier to finish faster in some positions, learn what gets you off slower and use them first - save a favourite to finish.

Rule 3 - Refractory period. This is the time the guy needs between ejaculations. It can vary from man to man, depending on fitness, how tired he is, fitness and arousal at the time. Masturbation before sex (hour or two) should delay the orgasm with you, but takes the spontaneity out of things when you have to plan to knock one out at 4.30 for the shag at 6! If you let him go down on you and carry on fooling about, is he going to get going again for a longer round two? Three? etc. Just because he's ejaculated doesn't mean it's over. Sex isn't about 60 seconds of acting like a jackhammer, rolling over and going to sleep - you can build and relax the intensity.
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Anonymous #1
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thank u for the replies
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candydiva
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#19
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(Original post by Apachecow)
May I ask how old you are? I think sex undoubtedly gets better with maturity and experience. As a man, you also learn control. I also have tried rating all your posts in this thread and PRSOM.
I'm 22. According to what I am told I have the benefit of experience... I began early and went hard ever since lol! But not only in the bedroom. I've lived in four countries and studied one semester in UK as well.
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boulderingislife
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m beginning to hate sex as it lasts under a minute and i’m always left unsatisfied. i get excited and ready for it then i’m left feeling slightly used? used isn’t the right word bc he treats me so well and we are great together but i just don’t know what to say or how to address this.
i usually don’t let him go down as it makes me feel as if he’s only doing it bc he feels bad/guilt abt finishing quickly. It makes me feel awkward.
has anyone had any experience with this?
i have no idea what to do but i’m getting really fed up with getting excited then let down every single time
Write to deidre the sex therapist at the sun. They normally publish responses in their online edition, which I may or may mot read out of boredom and curiosity :/
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