Feel so lonely

Im an 18 year old, never had a proper boyfriend, never kissed or got with a guy before. At the start of my teenage years I was really desperate and had crushes on every guy, but now I’m older I feel more mature and know what I want and know how I want to be treated. I am also waaaay more independent now, but recently I came across an ex crush of mine. He was perfect, good manners, doesn’t smoke or drink and has a great personality and is very smart and goal oriented. My feelings just all came back for him. I’ve liked him twice in my life before this, once 4 years ago and another time 2 years ago. The fact I keep liking him makes me feel like there’s a connection with him or something. I’m not going to lie, the way he interacted with me, felt like he liked me but whenever it was revealed I liked him, he distanced from me and told me he sees me as a sister. Yh ik what an L lol. But then I don’t know how can you act that way with someone you just see as a “sister”. Anyways I just feel really lonely and feel like there’s my perfect guy out there, but he defo doesn’t like me back and I feel like I won’t find anyone else as perfect as him. He’s on a gap year too, so I have it in my head, if he somehow goes the same uni as me, then we were meant to be and then I’m going to talk to him about this and see what happens, but if he doesn’t then I just carry on with life haha. I feel really lonely nowadays and I know I don’t NEED to find a boyfriend, but sometimes it would be nice to know someone loves you and thinks your beautiful and makes you feel special uno? But tbh I didn’t have the best reputation at my skl, my mental health made me act very annoying, so I’m worried that maybe he didn’t express his true feelings because of how ppl would have reacted. Idk I just need help guys, should I talk to him about this and randomly pop up? Or just wait it out see if he comes my uni and if he does take that as a sign we were meant to be and then see where things go? Thank you!

Im an 18 year old, never had a proper boyfriend, never kissed or got with a guy before. At the start of my teenage years I was really desperate and had crushes on every guy, but now I’m older I feel more mature and know what I want and know how I want to be treated. I am also waaaay more independent now, but recently I came across an ex crush of mine. He was perfect, good manners, doesn’t smoke or drink and has a great personality and is very smart and goal oriented. My feelings just all came back for him. I’ve liked him twice in my life before this, once 4 years ago and another time 2 years ago. The fact I keep liking him makes me feel like there’s a connection with him or something. I’m not going to lie, the way he interacted with me, felt like he liked me but whenever it was revealed I liked him, he distanced from me and told me he sees me as a sister. Yh ik what an L lol. But then I don’t know how can you act that way with someone you just see as a “sister”. Anyways I just feel really lonely and feel like there’s my perfect guy out there, but he defo doesn’t like me back and I feel like I won’t find anyone else as perfect as him. He’s on a gap year too, so I have it in my head, if he somehow goes the same uni as me, then we were meant to be and then I’m going to talk to him about this and see what happens, but if he doesn’t then I just carry on with life haha. I feel really lonely nowadays and I know I don’t NEED to find a boyfriend, but sometimes it would be nice to know someone loves you and thinks your beautiful and makes you feel special uno? But tbh I didn’t have the best reputation at my skl, my mental health made me act very annoying, so I’m worried that maybe he didn’t express his true feelings because of how ppl would have reacted. Idk I just need help guys, should I talk to him about this and randomly pop up? Or just wait it out see if he comes my uni and if he does take that as a sign we were meant to be and then see where things go? Thank you!

Life is short, don't wait. I think you should message him and see if you can meet up for a coffee (if your area allows). Tell him how you feel. It could be the best decision you make. Or, it could turn out to be nothing but at least you'll know.

Hun im 19 and in the same position as you like in my entire time ive never properly gone thru the works and actually ended up happy. My advice, take the leap of faith. If it doesnt work it doesnt work but if it does then you made the right choice. Pshhh rep in high school is bs. You can be a world renowned person outside but it dont mean crap in skl

Guys idk I haven’t spoke to him in two years. But idk I genuinely feel like he did like me before. But I’m too scared of getting rejected now and he might get creeped out if I tell him because I haven’t spoken to him in two years, only ever walked past and glanced. But also when I was in my car, he kept walking past it and looking inside it and hovered around, sometimes very rarely I do catch him staring at me. Idk I’m just really scared of being rejected because I’ve liked him twice and we haven’t gotten together so the chance of him liking me now is low. But also we both are reapplying for med this year. He’s very gosh oriented so I feel like if I tell him then it’s gonna distract him. So with these factors in mind, do u think I should just wait until exams are over ( in 3 days) and after interviews and we get our offers. Because then he’ll be free. I feel like I should only tell him if we go same uni because then there’s no point and long distance is something I would hate.

Ohhh youre in my yearrr and also future med students toooo. Are you both applying to the same uni. If yes, why not try talking to him again, make it natural and just strike up a convo first then see where it goes from there. Kinda hint that you like him then when youre comfortable tell him how u feel

Idk if we r applying to the same uni. Like I said haven’t spoke to him in two years, our mutual friends aren’t taking the autumn exams so we r kinda divided, I hang with mine while waiting around for exams to start and he hangs with his. It’s all so complicated right now but I’m really upset because I know he’s the perfect guy that ticks all my boxes but I’m gonna lose him because I can’t even have the chance to talk to him as all I see of him is when we wait outside the skl gates to be called in for the exam and during the exam. I have his snap but I’ve never spoken to him on there and it’d be a bit weird for me to randomly pop up if I haven’t even spoke to him in two years uno? Argh life is mad crazyyy. I just wish we end up going the same uni eee

Just say this. Hey i was going thru my friends list on snap and i noticed i had you and its been soo long. How u been after so long and whats been in happening

this is perfect