Anonymous #1
#1
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I recently realised that the person I considered to be my best friend might not want me in her life anymore, after three weeks of waiting for a text back I can't help but feel used. She was the only person I truly felt I could confide in and I would be the same for her, now I feel stuck in limbo not knowing whether to call her out or to move on.

I just feel so isolated and as though I've never truly had friends, it sucks knowing that you can put your all into a friendship and receive nothing back.
As well as this I am struggling to look for a part time job in order to fund driving lessons and I just feel so hopeless and lost every day.
I struggle with motivation which doesn't help the fact that i'm resitting two A levels next summer and am studying from home.

I'm just wondering if I'm the only one stuck at the moment, I just wish I had friends to speak to.
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username5444500
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#2
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friends are over-rated, very few are there when you need them or want them. love yourself, it's the best love ever!
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SoulfulTwist
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#3
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Call her. Could have gotten busy, might have thought she had replied and is thinking why you aren't replying etc
So many things it could be.
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Anonymous #2
#4
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I went though the same thing 6 months ago, let me tell you the feeling of loneliness is the worst feeling, i was depressed all the time I just wanted friends. I used eat lunch in the school bathroom. I wanted to kill myself. But now I did find a friend but she is so toxic and rude. She makes fun of me, the way I look etc, but I still hang out with her coz I really don’t want to experience being lonely again.
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Anonymous #3
#5
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feeling lonely is the worst. Ive spent my entire life wanting to be liked by people. and just when I thought I finally made a friend, I got ignored. I've learnt to accept my fate of never making any friends. I used to think that it was all down to my confidence. Im 25 now, I'm a lot more confident, yet still no friends. It's also made me realise that life isn't all about friends. Love yourself. Better yourself. People come and go.
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Anonymous #3
#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I went though the same thing 6 months ago, let me tell you the feeling of loneliness is the worst feeling, i was depressed all the time I just wanted friends. I used eat lunch in the school bathroom. I wanted to kill myself. But now I did find a friend but she is so toxic and rude. She makes fun of me, the way I look etc, but I still hang out with her coz I really don’t want to experience being lonely again.
please don't do this. I spent my entire school and college years spending time around people who bullied me. It scars you later on and has a major affect on your self-esteem and confidence. people like that don't deserve you.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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(Original post by studenthelper20)
friends are over-rated, very few are there when you need them or want them. love yourself, it's the best love ever!
I am starting to realise this and I agree, self love is so important.
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Anonymous #4
#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
I recently realised that the person I considered to be my best friend might not want me in her life anymore, after three weeks of waiting for a text back I can't help but feel used. She was the only person I truly felt I could confide in and I would be the same for her, now I feel stuck in limbo not knowing whether to call her out or to move on.

I just feel so isolated and as though I've never truly had friends, it sucks knowing that you can put your all into a friendship and receive nothing back.
As well as this I am struggling to look for a part time job in order to fund driving lessons and I just feel so hopeless and lost every day.
I struggle with motivation which doesn't help the fact that i'm resitting two A levels next summer and am studying from home.

I'm just wondering if I'm the only one stuck at the moment, I just wish I had friends to speak to.
You don't deserve to feel like this! People will tell you to not worry about having friends and to enjoy your own company - which is useful - but that's a lot easier said than done. You're not alone in feeling like you've never truly had friends; even people who seem to have great friend groups on social media for example feel like this too.

If it's hard to make friends in real life as you're studying from home, try to make friends online. Twitter is great for this! If not, try to join online youth boards/volunteering schemes. Reach out to family members, especially cousins. Try tutoring GCSE maths/english as a part time job, or sell cakes/crafts if you're able to.

Most importantly, try not to get into the hole of self-pity. The more that you believe you are lonely and have no friends, the harder it will be to change this situation. Try journalling and focusing on the people you do have and the things you are grateful for!
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username5444500
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am starting to realise this and I agree, self love is so important.
I know it sounds harsh, but stop caring for people. If you want to care, do a job in it and get paid. As long as you care for ordinary people, friends or not, you will never be happy.
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Anonymous #1
#10
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(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
Call her. Could have gotten busy, might have thought she had replied and is thinking why you aren't replying etc
So many things it could be.
Yeah, I reckon i'll give her a call tomorrow and see what happens. Thing is these blocks of time where my messages go unanswered by her have happened before so I don't know if i'm just wasting my time.
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username5444500
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#11
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(Original post by studenthelper20)
I know it sounds harsh, but stop caring for people. If you want to care, do a job in it and get paid. As long as you care for ordinary people, friends or not, you will never be happy.
and forget family too! not your own kids of course if you want/have any. once you're free from parents, unless you really love them, forget them, same goes for siblings, aunties, uncles, etc!
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username5444500
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#12
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(Original post by studenthelper20)
and forget family too! not your own kids of course if you want/have any. once you're free from parents, unless you really love them, forget them, same goes for siblings, aunties, uncles, etc!
ooops, i'm talking to myself again!
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SoulfulTwist
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah, I reckon i'll give her a call tomorrow and see what happens. Thing is these blocks of time where my messages go unanswered by her have happened before so I don't know if i'm just wasting my time.
Probably because if you message constantly, she may run out of things to talk about, or she might be introverted so get drained or she likes to habe breaks from messaging the same people constantly for whatever personal reason, might just be busy, could be anything
Chances are if you are close, time apart will not mean you will draw apart. It's quite healthy to go a while without messaging too.
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SoulfulTwist
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(Original post by studenthelper20)
and forget family too! not your own kids of course if you want/have any. once you're free from parents, unless you really love them, forget them, same goes for siblings, aunties, uncles, etc!
Until your kids are at an age where you need to let them be independant, then you have to forget them too to an extent and get used to them using you the way you use/d your own parents
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Anonymous #1
#15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I went though the same thing 6 months ago, let me tell you the feeling of loneliness is the worst feeling, i was depressed all the time I just wanted friends. I used eat lunch in the school bathroom. I wanted to kill myself. But now I did find a friend but she is so toxic and rude. She makes fun of me, the way I look etc, but I still hang out with her coz I really don’t want to experience being lonely again.
I am so sorry you had to go through this, I have had experience with people who completely disregard your feelings and its the worst. I think that you should tell her how her words make you feel, but its easier said then done. I am terrible with confronting people but I hope that your situation gets better. Being lonely is horrible and I really hope this thread makes us feel a little less alone
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username5444500
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(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
Until your kids are at an age where you need to let them be independant, then you have to forget them too to an extent and get used to them using you the way you use/d your own parents
Forget everyone. You need to start learning to love yourself and making yourself happy, do things you enjoy. Never rely on others to make you happy, you will be sorry!
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ohidontthinksom9
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Okay so I've seen a lot of people on TSR say stuff like 'you don't need friends, you don't need a partner etc', you do and trust me as someone who went from not really having a strong set of friends to having an amazing supportive group of people they can rely on, id choose the second one every single time, I really don't mean to sound like a jerk because I really do get what its like, trust me ive been there. What you really have to do is involve yourself in new things, join local community groups, sports, gyms, anything you're interested in. Its great that you're wanting to start a part time job, I get on really well with the people I work with and most of the time, particularly in the hospitality industry (bars restaurants etc.) people will go out for a drink after work and enjoy your company!
I'm also doing A levels but halfway through them actually (October series). It does suck when people let you down and when they don't make the same effort as you its really bad, and its great that you want to make one last attempt with this person who's let you down, but be mindful, when you do call her open with something positive, could be 'im going out to (x event) later, do you fancy coming and having a catch up'?

With regards to the family thing, don't just cut people out of your life for the sake of it, humans need social interaction!

I really hope I don't sound insensitive because I really do want to help, if any of you like, drop me a message!
Last edited by ohidontthinksom9; 1 week ago
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SoulfulTwist
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#18
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(Original post by studenthelper20)
Forget everyone. You need to start learning to love yourself and making yourself happy, do things you enjoy. Never rely on others to make you happy, you will be sorry!
Not relying on others to make you happy is true, happiness does come from within but these other people can be factors to add to your happiness. Doesn't mean to forget everyone, no one is truly happy that way. I think happiness comes from makimg others happy, giving back to the world with a passion in something you believe in or feel strongly about, accepting yourself, being realistic and understanding that it is unreal to feel happy all the time, having goals to make a change in the world, even if it be with something small like teaching a child something etc
So maybe let's not forget about everyone altogether but learn a balance, and to put yourself first more times than not.
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Anonymous #1
#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
You don't deserve to feel like this! People will tell you to not worry about having friends and to enjoy your own company - which is useful - but that's a lot easier said than done. You're not alone in feeling like you've never truly had friends; even people who seem to have great friend groups on social media for example feel like this too.

If it's hard to make friends in real life as you're studying from home, try to make friends online. Twitter is great for this! If not, try to join online youth boards/volunteering schemes. Reach out to family members, especially cousins. Try tutoring GCSE maths/english as a part time job, or sell cakes/crafts if you're able to.

Most importantly, try not to get into the hole of self-pity. The more that you believe you are lonely and have no friends, the harder it will be to change this situation. Try journalling and focusing on the people you do have and the things you are grateful for!
Ahh thank you so much, you've been really helpful it really is easier said than done, yes that is true. I'll take a look into twitter as that sounds like a good idea, I applied for a job today so hopefully something will come of that. Yes that is very true, i'll give journaling a go
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SoulfulTwist
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#20
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(Original post by ohidontthinksom9)
Okay so I've seen a lot of people on TSR say stuff like 'you don't need friends, you don't need a partner etc', you do and trust me as someone who went from not really having a strong set of friends to having an amazing supportive group of people they can rely on, id choose the second one every single time, I really don't mean to sound like a jerk because I really do get what its like, trust me ive been there. What you really have to do is involve yourself in new things, join local community groups, sports, gyms, anything you're interested in. Its great that you're wanting to start a part time job, I get on really well with the people I work with and most of the time, particularly in the hospitality industry (bars restaurants etc.) people will go out for a drink after work and enjoy your company!
I'm also doing A levels but halfway through them actually (October series). It does suck when people let you down and when they don't make the same effort as you its really bad, and its great that you want to make one last attempt with this person who's let you down, but be mindful, when you do call her open with something positive, could be 'im going out to (x event) later, do you fancy coming and having a catch up'?

With regards to the family thing, don't just cut people out of your life for the sake of it, humans need social interaction!

I really hope I don't sound insensitive because I really do want to help, if any of you like, drop me a message!
^ this. Well said
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