Anonymous #1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
So I’m in a new relationship (2 months ) and I’m feeling so insecure I don’t know why or how to shake this awful feeling 😫 we get on so well and I do trust him when he says he’d never cheat. But he’s been single for 6 years and in that time has been sleeping around a bit and been on tinder / hinge/ bumble and adding all these matches on his social media so now I’m like trying to work out who’s actually his mates and who he’s just matched with / slept with and kept around and it’s making me so anxious 😅

He’s also one of them who likes practically every girls insta pictures especially the ones who have lip fillers, boob jobs etc which makes me insecure as I don’t have either of them 😅 we have a mutual friend on insta she’s one of my friends from school and he keeps liking her pictures and I was like how do you know here and he said it’s because they matched on tinder ages ago and spoke for a while... this annoyed me because I don’t want to know who my boyfriend fancied in the past and that he’s still liking her pictures whilst I’m with him 😅 I know I sound unreasonable and I know the issue is with me.

He treats me well and has put me on his social media and he made us Facebook official so it’s not like he’s trying to hide me and he’s giving me a lot of his time so I’m so Angry at myself for feeling this way, it’s like I’m trying to find something to be anxious about 😩 the fear of the unknown and the fact I’ve been cheated on by a few ex’s in the past isn’t helping at all , just need some helpful advice or ways to stop feeling this way ☹️
Badges: 13
Report 1 month ago
No, you're not sounding unreasonable. Don't be angry at yourself, it's fine. If my bf slept around, had tinder and all that, and STILL likes other girls' pics then I'd feel that way too.
1)I'd suggest meditating. There are a few guided meditations on YouTube, they help if you listen to them and practice them consistently. e.g.
2)Also, PLEASE talk to him. Communication is key. Everything you've just written, tell him. Don't be ashamed of that, he's your bf. What I'd do is say:
''I'm telling you this because i trust you with my feelings and I hope you can understand me. I've been feeling insecure a lot lately because you've been single for 6 years whilst sleeping around with other girls and had all those apps. Not just that but you're still liking other girls' pictures although we're dating. I'd appreciate it a lot if you stopped.''

After that, if he still liked other girls' pics, I'd honestly just leave the relationship. It's not worth it. That would just prove he doesn't love you enough to just do THAT single act (stop liking girls' pics) for you.

3) If I'm completely honest with you and not sugar coat things, from personal experience as well, I don't think it's going to last anyway. I've had bf's like that and they all ended up cheating despite the fact they kept saying ''oh, I'd never do that to you!''. It's just that those kind of boys.... they tend to cheat, whether it's flirting, perhaps asking for nudes, or even having another relationship, etc. My main point? *Don't get too attached to him just in case*. Something i learned is you should have a relationship with yourself first before with others. Of course this is metaphorically, but what I mean with this is love yourself before anybody else- don't get too attached to boys. Only get truly attached if you're married.

Also, I was exactly like your boyfriend too in the past. Also shared accounts. I was cheating though- I'm not one anymore btw. Again, I'm not saying your bf is a cheater or anything. I don't know. Also, people change. But my advice is, be on guard. Don't get too attached, you never know. Even if you bf was the opposite of how you described him. It's with any partner really.

4) Moreover, talk to your friends. Tell them about all that. People feel much better when they share problems.

5) My last piece of advice is, look in the mirror. Tell yourself how beautiful you are with a smile twice a day at least. Even if you think you're ugly (there's no such thing as ugly, we just live in a judgmental society, you're beautiful x ) and can't smile, force a smile. Our brains don't detect forced smiles from real smiles- so over time you actually become happier xx
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