I am a mum of 3 and 39 years old
I already have a degree in Photography but couldn't find any work in the field. after volunteering at a local hospital with my photography skills I decided i would really love to study occupational therapy as I absolutely love my voluntary work.
I found the whole uni application process overwhelming. I was so in-depth and felt like it was never ending with all the different application parts and forms/funding etc.
I started my course 4 weeks ago. it has mostly been online...i have been put in a group of 10 and had to take part in projects online which was really difficult, i didnt even know who there people were that i was working with or what they looked like it was really weird
sitting infront of my laptop from 9-4.30 listening the lectures while my poor laptop overheats and the fans are going wild...it is too much for me! as much as i love the comfort of my own home...the tutors share their screen and go so fast i cannot follow what is going on. feels like its 'click here' click there' open this ...
there is an online platform, but also about 3/4 sub platforms that i cannot navigate my way around for the life of me
(my previous degree was straight forward and clear)
we have to register our attendance for each session and for me it never works! its really bringing me down..
the actual subject is really interesting but I am struggling with the technical side/written work/essays /referencing/
i feel like i am getting constant emails about more work to do and its just building up.
i cannot navigate my way around the platform to find it..its a mess..pdf's are scattered everywhere and its not user friendly at all (i feel like complaining but feel like everyone else will think its ok) i need a timetable as i never know whats going on unless i look in depth and some folders tucked away somewhere and i cant tick off my work or have some sort of to do list as i feel like i'm missing out important stuff as i cant find it.
its seems a whole lot stricter than with my photography degree which i found fairly straight forward.
i borrowed 9k to do the course and it wasn't an easy desicion.
i have been granted disabled students allowance as i have Adhd, bipolar and anxiety, I have just topped up £800 of my own money towards the DSA allowance for a new laptop, as the one they offered was basic. I have been awarded funding for a personal mentor, but they are all working from home which is useless to me as I need to sit with them and show them what im doing...so i dont feel like asking for help from them
(if i left uni i am worried i will have to pay all this dsa back somehow? )
I dont want to feel worried and i dont want to feel like a failure
i am struggling to find the time to do the work. my daughter has asd and was suspended from school last week and now my time is taken up with school meetings etc...i am finding is hard to juggle parent life and uni as much as i want my own time to study.
The university campus is fairly new, it is ugly and has no soul.. i feels cheap and is empty due to covid.. we have done a couple of masked up classroom sessions which i enjoyed but i feel like i am a lot mentally slower than the other in the class despite understanding what is being taught..everyone seemed on the ball when i had to work with apartner i felt embarrased as i was really slow and looked thick . i hate using my adhd as an excuse
since starting uni i have just had daily nightmares, anxiety and panic. i have felt really depressed and overwelmed..i dream about it every night and it is a weight on my mind
any advice??