Would you consider this disrespect?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
My parents have done a lot for me.
However, they do not approve of nose piercings at all. This is not something they want to discuss.
I have waited until I moved out for university to get a nose piercing, because I have always wanted one.
Now that I have moved out (and I am self sufficient, meaning I pay my own rent, own food, etc.) I would like to get a nose piercing.
They choose to send me food and other things which I greatly appreciate on top of my own, but I am supporting myself.
Still, before I get it, I wonder if I am disrespecting my parents by getting the piercing? Would you consider it disrespect?
Should I wait longer to get the piercing?

Thank you.
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mav90
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It's your life... go for it
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2500_2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My parents have done a lot for me.
However, they do not approve of nose piercings at all. This is not something they want to discuss.
I have waited until I moved out for university to get a nose piercing, because I have always wanted one.
Now that I have moved out (and I am self sufficient, meaning I pay my own rent, own food, etc.) I would like to get a nose piercing.
They choose to send me food and other things which I greatly appreciate on top of my own, but I am supporting myself.
Still, before I get it, I wonder if I am disrespecting my parents by getting the piercing? Would you consider it disrespect?
Should I wait longer to get the piercing?

Thank you.
Your parents will almost certainly consider it disrespect even if you wait til you're 35.
If you really don't want them to be bothered by it wait until you are about get married/have a kid when they'll have other priorities for you.
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bones-mccoy
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If you're waiting for them to agree with you getting it, you'll be waiting forever. You may as well get it now.
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pepsimaxcherry
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I don’t see it as disrespectful. It’s your body and your life, if you want a nose piercing - get one!

As parents, they don’t need to “approve” of every decision, nor do they have to agree with your choices. They should however still support and treat you the same!

After all, it’s only a piercing!
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LovelyMrFox
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Not disrespectful. Once you move out you can do anything you want.
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londonmyst
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It is not disrespectful and you have the freedom to choose the body piercings that you want.
But your parents are almost certain to disapprove of your choice to get a nose piercing and very unlikely to ever change their opinion.
I'm not a fan of nose piercings either.
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Bio 7
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How long do you wait until you stop basing your decisions on them? Until they die?

If you have living grandparents do your parents still look for approval from them? I imagine not because they have their own lives.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Bio 7)
How long do you wait until you stop basing your decisions on them? Until they die?

If you have living grandparents do your parents still look for approval from them? I imagine not because they have their own lives.
I guess I get this. I just do not want to disappoint them.
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Desideri
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I got a cartilage piercing at uni even though my parents hate them. I don’t think it’s disrespectful. It’s just growing up and making your own decisions.

Idk how strict your parents are though. If you think they’d stop supporting you or stop you going home or something , then obviously you need to weigh up your options.
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Bio 7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I guess I get this. I just do not want to disappoint them.
Certain things have to be less important to them as you get older and a piercing is minor and not harmful so no point is being unhappy. They should be disappointed by you doing drugs or committing crimes, things that are obviously bad.

I bet they won't care because it's a small choice you make for your own appearance not something that impacts your life.Just takes perspective. I suppose if you have lived a decent life and never argued with them these things seem bigger than they are.
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Aldersgate
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It's a nose piercing, not a face tattoo...
I got my ears pierced at 13 in the school dinner hour, and presented it as a 'Fait accompli'..

Dad wasn't thrilled, but no biggie.

It is your nose, and no one else's.

I had a nose piercing done at a Festival, and it hurt like hell.

However, it kept catching on tissues and when I wiped my face, so I took it out, and the hole healed fast.

If you hate it, you can remove it.

Go ahead, not remotely disrespectful.
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Aldersgate
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I guess I get this. I just do not want to disappoint them.
You sound like a conscientious {Daughter?}
'Disappointing' your parents is doing something like getting involved with serious drug use or crime...Not getting a nose piercing.

You can always take it out when you meet them, much like as with earrings.
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confuzzledteen
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I wouldn't say that it's disrespectful per se, though they do seem disapproving of it. I was wondering what type of nose piercing you're intending to get? I've got a mate whose got a septum piercing (nose ring), though her parents strongly dislike it and have never approved. As they don't like seeing her with it, septum piercings can easily be pushed up & hidden - so she does that everytime she visits her family to respect that they don't approve of it. Maybe you could do something similar? Like it's your life, you've moved out; in theory, you can do anything you want! But if you're worried about being disrespectful, then maybe try to respect your parents by hiding the piercing/ not making it too flashy when you're around them (like how I suggested with my mate's story).
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My parents have done a lot for me.
However, they do not approve of nose piercings at all. This is not something they want to discuss.
I have waited until I moved out for university to get a nose piercing, because I have always wanted one.
Now that I have moved out (and I am self sufficient, meaning I pay my own rent, own food, etc.) I would like to get a nose piercing.
They choose to send me food and other things which I greatly appreciate on top of my own, but I am supporting myself.
Still, before I get it, I wonder if I am disrespecting my parents by getting the piercing? Would you consider it disrespect?
Should I wait longer to get the piercing?

Thank you.
Not it’s not disrespectful. Regardless of how much they do for you, it’s your own body and they are toxic for suggesting your own self expression is disrespectful. Beauty is subjective, just because they don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s rude.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Aldersgate)
You sound like a conscientious {Daughter?}
'Disappointing' your parents is doing something like getting involved with serious drug use or crime...Not getting a nose piercing.

You can always take it out when you meet them, much like as with earrings.
nose piercings take (i believe 2 months?) to heal so i couldn't take it out.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by confuzzledteen)
I wouldn't say that it's disrespectful per se, though they do seem disapproving of it. I was wondering what type of nose piercing you're intending to get? I've got a mate whose got a septum piercing (nose ring), though her parents strongly dislike it and have never approved. As they don't like seeing her with it, septum piercings can easily be pushed up & hidden - so she does that everytime she visits her family to respect that they don't approve of it. Maybe you could do something similar? Like it's your life, you've moved out; in theory, you can do anything you want! But if you're worried about being disrespectful, then maybe try to respect your parents by hiding the piercing/ not making it too flashy when you're around them (like how I suggested with my mate's story).
nostril piercing; i wouldn't know how to hide it as doesn't it take 2 months to heal w/ the original jewellery in the nose? i don't think i would be able to swap it with less flashy jewellery until after it heals...?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Desideri)
I got a cartilage piercing at uni even though my parents hate them. I don’t think it’s disrespectful. It’s just growing up and making your own decisions.

Idk how strict your parents are though. If you think they’d stop supporting you or stop you going home or something , then obviously you need to weigh up your options.
how did your parents react when they saw the cartilage piercing?
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jaymou
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My parents have done a lot for me.
However, they do not approve of nose piercings at all. This is not something they want to discuss.
I have waited until I moved out for university to get a nose piercing, because I have always wanted one.
Now that I have moved out (and I am self sufficient, meaning I pay my own rent, own food, etc.) I would like to get a nose piercing.
They choose to send me food and other things which I greatly appreciate on top of my own, but I am supporting myself.
Still, before I get it, I wonder if I am disrespecting my parents by getting the piercing? Would you consider it disrespect?
Should I wait longer to get the piercing?

Thank you.
There is no reason why this should effect them in the long-run, they may experience a moment of sadness but it will pass because they clearly love you very much and a nose piercing won't stop that. And it certainly won't stop you from respecting them. Hell, in my own opinion, you must be incredibly respectful if you've waited until you can justify your independence before going forward with it, that is very commendable and you clearly care deeply for them. You can make your own decisions now and they won't agree with everything but then they shouldn't - get the nose piercing.
You'll be one step closer to being authentically you, and they'll still be there.
Hope it goes well

(+If they have any serious problems with the piercing, just tell them that its something that makes you happy and you appreciate that they feel that way. Perhaps once it has healed you could just take it out when you spend time with them, though I doubt it would be necessary, they should be happy as long as you're happy and well. )
Last edited by jaymou; 1 month ago
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ChickenMadness
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I agree with your parents.
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