Help-need advice

So, I have been seeing out my college this girl, which I immediately find myself very attracted to. I stared at her a couple of times and she stared back, also with a friend. She knows who I am since she liked my last pic on Insta after I started following her and she followed back. I got told she just got into a relationship so I did not make a move. However, I got to know for sue that she has just broken up (her choice) on Friday.

I got told it is wise to wait until next weekend to make a move, which I definitely understand. I am open to anything at the moment, whether a hook up or a relationship, I am more for the long game but I do not think I can be that picky.

The point is that I have never actually talked with this girl before: she waved at me and I waved back once, but apart from that and that bit of eye contact a week ago I never properly talked with her this year, although I spoke a bit during interviews last December.

I would love to get to know her better and ask her out on a date, but I ma not sure what approach to take and how to do it since I do not see her around often. I think my current options )with pros and cons, are:

1. Hang around the college and hope to meet during the weekend, and:
1a. Start a small talk convo, although I do not know how to do so since as I said I never talked with her and I would think it would be wired to just stop her while walking and start asking how was her day etc.
1b. A bold approach. By that I mean be direct and tell her that I saw her around and I think she is an interesting/attractive person and I would like to hang out with her sometime. Here I recon there is the obvious to creep her out, but, if it works, it saves time and passed the first hurdle, it would probably makes things smoother if she says yes.

2. Dms on Insta, perhaps answering to stories if she posts any. The pro is that it is easy and easily accessible, but at the same time it is not very impactful.

Which approach do you think is best? Are there other ones which I did not consider?

Thanks a lot!

Reply 1

becausethenight

I don't see anything wrong with being bold and saying hello and that you'd like to get to know her better, would she like to grab a coffee or whatever. As you say since you don't know her wandering up and making small talk will be just as awkward, so you might as well go for it - of course, be respecful and kind if she does just say no!

I would avoid insta if you haven't met in person yet, and meeting in person is possible. I would personally find a 'stranger' contacting me out of the blue on insta creepier by far?

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

I'd personally send a DM on insta, and then if you see her about then it would be easier (and less creepy) to strike up a conversation. Good luck!

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by becausethenight

Thank you. I think I am going for option 1a. If she says no, I'll move one and that would be end of the story. I won't opt for Dis although not for the same reason you gave, since it was quite a small community and we all kinda know who each other is, so I won't be considered a total stranger in that sense. However, I think it will be too impersonal.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I'd personally send a DM on insta, and then if you see her about then it would be easier (and less creepy) to strike up a conversation. Good luck!

Right, thank you! I think I am going to do so only if I do not see her in person, do you think that my confidence in option 1b would be still appreciated?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Sorry I meant option 1b

Reply 6

becausethenight

Original post by Anonymous

No problem :smile:

That all sounds sensible enough. Honestly if you are vaguely aquainted instagram DMs might be fine, but in person is usually better as you say!

Reply 7

lizzy666

Original post by Anonymous

Right, thank you! I think I am going to do so only if I do not see her in person, do you think that my confidence in option 1b would be still appreciated?

Some girls would definitely appreciate that. I was only commenting from my point of view I guess, Im quite shy and probably wouldn't know what to say if someone approached me! Having said that, it would still be nice for someone to say they thought I was attractive. Guess it all depends on her

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by lizzy666

Some girls would definitely appreciate that.

Good, she seems to be quite an interesting person, so I would say ti is a roulette. I'll take the risk.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by lizzy666

I also wanted to add that, although I find her very attractive, I would say that for common standers she is not above average, she defiantly got quite a lot of male attention I believe for the fact that she gives a sort of strange (interesting/misterious) vibe, would this change anything?