Uncomfortable showering w/ bf

Anonymous #1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
Why am I so uncomfortable doing everything with my bf?
I mean when friends tell me that they do this and that with them, I don’t even care
But when it’s my turn to do such things (showering, sleeping in the same bed, dining with the family) I’m feeling so uncomfortable !

Please help !
Badges: 13
Report 1 month ago
Is he really ur bf? If u r that uncomfortable in so many ways with a bf it is possible u r gay?
Badges: 17
Report 1 month ago
How long have you been together? Everyone moves at a different pace, so you can't necessarily compare yourself to others in this. Even with that aside, people just have different preferences; I wasn't sure I'd be comfortable showering with my boyfriend because it seemed quite vulnerable, as that's something I usually do on my own and I had a few worries about it. My current bf is very understanding and it eventually just happened one day, and now the barrier has been broken I actually do like doing that, but there still may be times that I prefer some alone time or want to shower quickly.

It sounds like you may be overthinking things. Keep your boyfriend in the loop about how you feel, and if he's receptive then you could share exactly why you feel uncomfortable (even if you're not sure, describe your thoughts to him and you might figure it out together). It may be a matter of time if this is the case, and you can work with each other. You never have to do things like shower with each other if that's not for you, just as you don't have to go rock-climbing or canoeing; it's very much personal preference. Things like family dinners are a little trickier to avoid, and so I'd hope he'll support you until you feel you can manage those.

However, if you aren't comfortable telling him about this, it may be time to ask why you're not. Is this your problem, or is it something he's doing? Is he somebody who cares about what you have to say, and who will let you express yourself? If not, then it sounds like the issue may be that he's not suited to you, or in fact any serious relationship at the present moment.

The two possibilities that I can see are outlined above. Either you just need time to feel comfortable and figure out your boundaries, or he's actually not for you and that's what's making you uncomfortable. Go with your gut instinct.

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