username5429110
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My parents are contacting me constantly, they are suffocating me. They have always been like this, it is not just now.
Anyway, I am a first year and my parents asked me to come home last weekend and I didn't and this week they have asked me again. I have said yes because I am scared they will get mad at me. Before I went my mum expected me to go home every weekend, then she changed it to every other weekend. She got angry when I thought it was too often.
How often do you go home? I would rather just go home during the holidays and for my family's birthdays, but they obviously don't want that. I know I'm an adult but I want to keep them happy but also I don't want to be going home all of the time.
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Blackstarr
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I feel you
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kkona
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My parents were saying that at the start of uni they wanted me to come home every weekend probably for some secret reason like they dont want me partying and stuff but they stopped really caring that much and I go home on the holidays and birthdays. this is much better cause the train tickets cost like £35 single to my city and another 35 back. They realised am an adult and have stuff to do
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londonmyst
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I never visit the homes of my living ancestors.
Escaped from my parents before a level results seven years ago, avoid them like the plague and will probably never speak to them again.

Pandemic restrictions will probably prevent you from spending weekend nights at your parents home or even going inside.
Last edited by londonmyst; 1 month ago
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Chronoscope
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Can your parents come and visit you instead? E.g. they make it a daytrip Quite a lot of people on my uni halls corridor go home but they go every other week/3 weeks. They also live closer to home too. Could video calls be a compromise?

For me I doubt I' going home until Christmas, as home is about 4 hours away, and is in Tier 2 atm. My parents came to visit last week before the tiers were introduced but i do have extended family nearby my uni which i can contact any time if I need anything.

It also probably depends how much work you've got to do too, and if its worth the energy taking things back and forth.
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mnot
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(Original post by Cocoabean22)
My parents are contacting me constantly, they are suffocating me. They have always been like this, it is not just now.
Anyway, I am a first year and my parents asked me to come home last weekend and I didn't and this week they have asked me again. I have said yes because I am scared they will get mad at me. Before I went my mum expected me to go home every weekend, then she changed it to every other weekend. She got angry when I thought it was too often.
How often do you go home? I would rather just go home during the holidays and for my family's birthdays, but they obviously don't want that. I know I'm an adult but I want to keep them happy but also I don't want to be going home all of the time.
1st year, once a month
2nd year, twice a term & spent a bit of out of term time living in my uni house
3rd/masters, one weekend a term & started spending a lot more holiday time at uni
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angelofessence
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1st year went home often i.e. christmas holidays easter etc

2nd year just christmas and for the beginning of lockdown

3rd year (this year) have next to no intention of sticking around when visiting for long. Realised how much of a toxic little hometown it is where I am from and have next to no desire to even go back. Also realised how pathetic things really are there and that most people I know have left and the few "Friends" I thought I had there just turned out to be utter wastes of space.

Feel much happier and healthier here despite being lockdown! For context the town I came from is one of those places where everyone knows each other, you still see the same losers from high school who were bullies and never got anywhere in life etc unemployed/heavily drinking, doing drugs or working minimum wage customer service jobs. Nah ah, I have no desire to return to that dead end backwater pitiful excuse of a town.

So in summary, rarely if ever.
Last edited by angelofessence; 1 month ago
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University of Portsmouth Student Rep
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(Original post by Cocoabean22)
My parents are contacting me constantly, they are suffocating me. They have always been like this, it is not just now.
Anyway, I am a first year and my parents asked me to come home last weekend and I didn't and this week they have asked me again. I have said yes because I am scared they will get mad at me. Before I went my mum expected me to go home every weekend, then she changed it to every other weekend. She got angry when I thought it was too often.
How often do you go home? I would rather just go home during the holidays and for my family's birthdays, but they obviously don't want that. I know I'm an adult but I want to keep them happy but also I don't want to be going home all of the time.
Hey Cocoabean22!

Have you tried explaining to your parents that you would rather only come home on occasion - as you have things to be doing at uni - eg work, or spending time with friends etc

In first year I went home firstly for a reading week, then went home at Christmas and Easter - so I wouldn't really go too often as i preferred to be at uni
In second year I went home only for a few days over Christmas as i was working a part time job and then COVID hit so I didn't go back home after that - only visited on two occasions
Now I'm in third year and I haven't gone home yet

Perhaps you could agree to facetime your family at the weekend for a bit so they can keep up to date with what you have been doing!
Alternatively set up a family group chat - if you don't have one already as its a great way for everyone to stay in touch

I hope this helps!
Eloise - Official Student Rep
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UniofReading
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(Original post by Cocoabean22)
My parents are contacting me constantly, they are suffocating me. They have always been like this, it is not just now.
Anyway, I am a first year and my parents asked me to come home last weekend and I didn't and this week they have asked me again. I have said yes because I am scared they will get mad at me. Before I went my mum expected me to go home every weekend, then she changed it to every other weekend. She got angry when I thought it was too often.
How often do you go home? I would rather just go home during the holidays and for my family's birthdays, but they obviously don't want that. I know I'm an adult but I want to keep them happy but also I don't want to be going home all of the time.
Hey Cocoabean22,

It can be a tricky situation. Personally, I tend to go home during reading weeks and Christmas and Easter etc. I would recommend explaining that you are busy during the weekends with uni work, societies etc but that you will meet them during Reading Week. Also, try and call them relatively often as I find this can put their mind at ease.

Hope this helps and feel free to let us know if you have any other questions!
From,

Amina😊
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username3842778
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(Original post by Cocoabean22)
My parents are contacting me constantly, they are suffocating me. They have always been like this, it is not just now.
Anyway, I am a first year and my parents asked me to come home last weekend and I didn't and this week they have asked me again. I have said yes because I am scared they will get mad at me. Before I went my mum expected me to go home every weekend, then she changed it to every other weekend. She got angry when I thought it was too often.
How often do you go home? I would rather just go home during the holidays and for my family's birthdays, but they obviously don't want that. I know I'm an adult but I want to keep them happy but also I don't want to be going home all of the time.
I personally dont go *home* a lot as im far away from my family, but i go to my second home and covid bubble (my fiances house) weekly, as hes my main support network. Do whats best for your mental wellbeing and if you have to tell your parents to give you some space then do so and theyll soon trust you can cope independently
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PhoenixFortune
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I went home every weekend during my undergraduate degree, but only went home for Christmas and Easter during my postgrad. I think you need to have an honest conversation with your parents about their expectations.
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