backhanded compliments

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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i dont understand when people are trying to flirt with a girl who isnt white, and they say “you’re pretty for a ___ girl” or say you look “exotic” or something. i’m indian and ive experienced this, honestly its so backhanded. i dont get why people think its a compliment. they could literally leave it at “you’re pretty” and that’s it. like, why?
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txnishkx_343
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i dont understand when people are trying to flirt with a girl who isnt white, and they say “you’re pretty for a ___ girl” or say you look “exotic” or something. i’m indian and ive experienced this, honestly its so backhanded. i dont get why people think its a compliment. they could literally leave it at “you’re pretty” and that’s it. like, why?
I know what you mean. I’m also Indian and the amount of backhand and sly racist comments I experienced in primary school is actually ridiculous. I think sometimes people don’t realise how offensive and hurtful they’re being until someone explicitly points it out to them. Either way it is wrong and should not be tolerated. Maybe you can educate them as to why it is hurtful?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by txnishkx_343)
I know what you mean. I’m also Indian and the amount of backhand and sly racist comments I experienced in primary school is actually ridiculous. I think sometimes people don’t realise how offensive and hurtful they’re being until someone explicitly points it out to them. Either way it is wrong and should not be tolerated. Maybe you can educate them as to why it is hurtful?
exactly, its usually when you have slightly more eurocentric features that people tend to make these comments, which is why i hate it. its basically insinuating that people of your ethnicity tend to be “ugly”. i get that they might not realise but in my eyes i think its pretty obvious what that implies. i’ve tried educating them but they don’t understand unfortunately, so it just seems like ignorance.
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txnishkx_343
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(Original post by Anonymous)
exactly, its usually when you have slightly more eurocentric features that people tend to make these comments, which is why i hate it. its basically insinuating that people of your ethnicity tend to be “ugly”. i get that they might not realise but in my eyes i think its pretty obvious what that implies. i’ve tried educating them but they don’t understand unfortunately, so it just seems like ignorance.
Ignorance should not be tolerated, and the fact that you’re willing to try educate them shows a lot. It’s extremely demoralising when people insinuate that people of your ethnicity are typically ugly, and that you are an anomaly. As much as they may think that it’s is a compliment, it is not. And you can only do so much to educate them. Keep reassuring yourself that you and those of your ethnicity are gorgeous, and the view of a few people should not change the way you view yourself and others. Keep loving yourself and treating others well.
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Anonymous #2
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It's so ignorant

I dont get it about indian girls in your case as literally there are so many gorgeous people I know who are indian, even the impression during uni i got was that they took care of their appearance more than people I know from other ethnic backgrounds (rlly nice hair, makeup and style)

I'm an arab girl and i get the exotic thing too, but find my race is very hit and msis because it's fetishised a certain way. Some people find it gross and some guys love it. But I'm always defined by that first as a girl.. that's why tbh i prefer dating non-white guys because they understand how it can be
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's so ignorant

I dont get it about indian girls in your case as literally there are so many gorgeous people I know who are indian, even the impression during uni i got was that they took care of their appearance more than people I know from other ethnic backgrounds (rlly nice hair, makeup and style)

I'm an arab girl and i get the exotic thing too, but find my race is very hit and msis because it's fetishised a certain way. Some people find it gross and some guys love it. But I'm always defined by that first as a girl.. that's why tbh i prefer dating non-white guys because they understand how it can be
awh thats super sweet, thank you! i totally understand, its definitely a fetish thing, thats exactly the word i was looking for with the exotic thing. arab girls are super pretty! ive noticed you guys get fetishised a lot, especially hijabis. even in porn and stuff. i think its cause some men tend to get off on the fact that you guys are quite “modest” in terms of religious reasons (sorry i couldnt think of a better word), and they wanna be the one to change that, if you get what i mean. its disgusting tbf. i get you, but its important to remember a lot of white guys aren’t like this, you just need to meet the right one.
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txnishkx_343
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's so ignorant

I dont get it about indian girls in your case as literally there are so many gorgeous people I know who are indian, even the impression during uni i got was that they took care of their appearance more than people I know from other ethnic backgrounds (rlly nice hair, makeup and style)

I'm an arab girl and i get the exotic thing too, but find my race is very hit and msis because it's fetishised a certain way. Some people find it gross and some guys love it. But I'm always defined by that first as a girl.. that's why tbh i prefer dating non-white guys because they understand how it can be
I understand. I feel terrible about this all, as Arab girls are gorgeous (as we all are), and they really included in a lot of odd fetishes. I think it’s mainly how men like to feel masculine with a modest and stereotypical girl (which is the stereotypical representation of Arab girls in movies, shows, etc).
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