Did he abuse me or did I drag it on?

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Anonymous #1
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Me and my bf was playing fighting and he really hurt me. He said sorry after he realised I was upset etc and I was kinda making him do it more by switching off the tv when he was watching. Anyways it ended up with both us getting pissed off. I wasn’t getting out of his way and giving him his car keys and he said about 6 times to get out the way then pushed me out the way.


Is this abuse? Is this ok? Am I in the wrong?

I’ve been in toxic abusive relationships before and I want to avoid that at all costs.
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Anonymous #1
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FYI. Before this situation of the push out the way. He kept telling me to stop or it’ll end badly
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Scottishlad888
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#3
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Get him out your life right now he is an abuser there is nothing wrong with playfighting its meant to be fun not someone hurting you he is showing you no real love or respect he is a bully its not right what he is doing to you and you know its all wrong thats why you are asking on TSR
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DiddyDec
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Why did you keep pushing him, what reaction were you trying to get?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DiddyDec)
Why did you keep pushing him, what reaction were you trying to get?
Thanks for your reply.
I know, what do you suggest I do
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OfejiroOtomewo
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sorry, but this isn't abuse. He asked you repeatedly to move and you didn't, so he quite rightly shoved you. It's right to question yes, but lets just remember that because he's a male every little thing shouldn't be looked at as "abusive". This whole comment just shows me that you were being annoying and provoking him. And by that I mean in no way that we should victim blame or justify abusive actions, but this wasn't a case of abuse. The same way if a stranger doesn't move out of my way on a bus after asking them to move several times, I'll push them. Would we ever call that abuse? 😶
Last edited by OfejiroOtomewo; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by OfejiroOtomewo)
sorry, but this isn't abuse. He asked you repeatedly to move and you didn't, so he quite rightly shoved you. It's right to question yes, but lets just remember that because he's a male every little thing shouldn't be looked at as "abusive". This whole comment just shows me that you were being annoying and provoking him. And by that I mean in no way that we should victim blame or justify abusive actions, but this wasn't a case on abuse. The same way if a stranger doesn't move out of my way on a bus after asking them to move several times, I'll push them. Would we every call that abuse? 😶
No we wouldn’t.
Thank you so much for your answer. I will apologise to him for the way I was being annoying and not letting him pass. I want to avoid this forever. I was in an abusive relationship which was so toxic and I don’t want this relationship to become like that and be toxic. How do I avoid this next time please and thanks.
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OfejiroOtomewo
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No we wouldn’t.
Thank you so much for your answer. I will apologise to him for the way I was being annoying and not letting him pass. I want to avoid this forever. I was in an abusive relationship which was so toxic and I don’t want this relationship to become like that and be toxic. How do I avoid this next time please and thanks.
Just look for tell tell signs, like micro-aggression, extreme or controlling behavior etc. These are obviously a a couple signs of emotional abuse out of a very long list, which could lead to physical. But most importantly make sure that you're happy. When the relationship starts to become boring, draining or counter-productive please consider leaving it. I want to make sure that you live a happy life too x
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Napp
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Abuse? No. Although a case can probably be made for you tormenting him there. Case in point, don't try and detain people against their will and get annoyed when they remove you from blocking them..
Is it okay? Not overly. But it's not exactly abnormal having a heated argument.
Where you in the wrong? Depends how you define it but winding him up and then trying to make it into a physical altercation, those are on you.
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Scottishlad888
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(Original post by OfejiroOtomewo)
sorry, but this isn't abuse. He asked you repeatedly to move and you didn't, so he quite rightly shoved you. It's right to question yes, but lets just remember that because he's a male every little thing shouldn't be looked at as "abusive". This whole comment just shows me that you were being annoying and provoking him. And by that I mean in no way that we should victim blame or justify abusive actions, but this wasn't a case of abuse. The same way if a stranger doesn't move out of my way on a bus after asking them to move several times, I'll push them. Would we ever call that abuse? 😶
You would be charged with assault if you pushed someone on a bus why would a stranger move out of your way weather you asked them or not you cant just bully people to suit yourself
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OfejiroOtomewo
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(Original post by Scottishlad888)
You would be charged with assault if you pushed someone on a bus why would a stranger move out of your way weather you asked them or not you cant just bully people to suit yourself
Okay what are you supposed to do if they don't move? stand there until they do?🤡 common curtesy works both ways. And no you wouldn't 😂😂A shove doesn't have to send someone flying to the floor. So you're telling me that I'll get charged with assault for pushing someone out of my way getting off a bus? That's incredibly silly for something that must happen hundreds of thousands of times a day. You would get laughed out a police station
Last edited by OfejiroOtomewo; 1 month ago
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Napp
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(Original post by Scottishlad888)
You would be charged with assault if you pushed someone on a bus why would a stranger move out of your way weather you asked them or not you cant just bully people to suit yourself
Not if the stranger was deliberately preventing your egress.
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Napp
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(Original post by OfejiroOtomewo)
Okay what are you supposed to do if they don't move? stand there until they do?🤡 common curtesy works both ways. And no you wouldn't 😂😂A shove doesn't have to send someone flying to the floor. So you're telling me that I'll get charged with assault for pushing someone out of their way getting off a bus? That's incredibly silly for something that must happen hundreds of thousands of times a day. You would get laughed out a police station
Technically he's correct in that you could be, albeit it would almost certainly be laughed out of the courtroom (if it somehow made it that far)
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Scottishlad888
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(Original post by OfejiroOtomewo)
Okay what are you supposed to do if they don't move? stand there until they do?🤡 common curtesy works both ways. And no you wouldn't 😂😂A shove doesn't have to send someone flying to the floor. So you're telling me that I'll get charged with assault for pushing someone out of my way getting off a bus? That's incredibly silly for something that must happen hundreds of thousands of times a day. You would get laughed out a police station
You lay your hand on someone and they report it to the police you will be caught on the CCTV on the bus and you will be charged thats the law the police officer has no say in the matter they have to charge you you can push past someone but dont put your hands on them its written into law
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OfejiroOtomewo
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(Original post by Scottishlad888)
You lay your hand on someone and they report it to the police you will be caught on the CCTV on the bus and you will be charged thats the law the police officer has no say in the matter they have to charge you you can push past someone but dont put your hands on them its written into law
The UK Police force are massively under funded so excuse me for believing that they don't have better use of their time and resources than searching for a common and lets face it, normal part of everyday human interaction such as a push. It may be written into the law but we both know its not taken seriously. If this was the case it would be deemed acceptable for hundreds of "assault" complaints to be filed on a train in the midst of London rush hour on a daily basis...
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Scottishlad888
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(Original post by OfejiroOtomewo)
The UK Police force are massively under funded so excuse me for believing that they don't have better use of their time and resources than searching for a common and lets face it, normal part of everyday human interaction such as a push. It may be written into the law but we both know its not taken seriously. If this was the case it would be deemed acceptable for hundreds of "assault" complaints to be filed on a train in the midst of London rush hour on a daily basis...
The police charge people every day where l stay in Scotland its not to much for the police to find people that lift there hands to other people
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OfejiroOtomewo
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(Original post by Scottishlad888)
The police charge people every day where l stay in Scotland its not to much for the police to find people that lift there hands to other people
well the police in England, or at least London don't have time for petty **** like that
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DiddyDec
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(Original post by Scottishlad888)
You lay your hand on someone and they report it to the police you will be caught on the CCTV on the bus and you will be charged thats the law the police officer has no say in the matter they have to charge you you can push past someone but dont put your hands on them its written into law
Where is this law then?
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Anonymous #2
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read the spoiler in sunny's suite on tsr then answer ur own Q
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Scottishlad888
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(Original post by DiddyDec)
Where is this law then?
What ?
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