What would you do if your vulnerable and you mum has had a potential Covid contact

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Anonymous #1
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Hey Need some advice ,

So I am vulnerable to Covid I have returned home for uni after two weeks as me and mum where concerned about me getting Covid. I have very rarely left the house in the last 3 weeks if I have it’s been for a walk as where concerned about the virus .

My mum has her own business so has continued going to work . However, today she sent a staff member home after she came in with symptoms of Covid cough & loss Of taste . It’s only a small team and at some point the who team of 8 have worked with her this week alone.

We have a small house with one bathroom so would struggle to isolate away from her .

My mum could go stay with a family member working in the business she has a spear room . Would it be acceptable to ask her to do this ?
Any ideas what I should do
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SoulfulTwist
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No, as it is her house. Unless she suggests it herself, then it is upto her.
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LovelyMrFox
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No, that would be very inappropriate to ask.
Its her home, if you really want to isolate from her then why cant you go stay with a friend?
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Pathway
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Follow usual protocol I guess (e.g. the clinically extremely vulnerable person to use the bathroom/communal areas first with the less at risk person/s to clean with bleach directly afterwards, etc.). When my mum comes home after being at work, she showers and the clothes she wore outside are put into a pile and washed, separately from my own. She also limits contact with her colleagues and the pupils at the school where she works. There's not much else that can be done really. I am classed as clinically extremely vulnerable and I understand the anxiety, but aside from a bit more stringent infection control protocols (that you should already be aware of) there's not a whole lot that can be done, save for people not leaving the house, which isn't exactly all that sustainable.

I'd feel a bit weird asking my mum to move out considering it's her house, not mine, is there anyway you could go and stay with a friend or family member?
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Moana92
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I'm surprised at the above responses - surely as your Mum she would want to do whatever possible to keep you safe if you're vulnerable?!
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Anonymous #2
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This seems a bit overdramatised, just have your mother book a test and you should be fine.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This seems a bit overdramatised, just have your mother book a test and you should be fine.
Overdramatic not really when you have been told by the leading medical professionals who specialise in your condition that if you get Covid you are unlikely to survive. If I get a cold I end up on steroids and antibiotics. They will not give her a test until she has symptoms
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moana92)
I'm surprised at the above responses - surely as your Mum she would want to do whatever possible to keep you safe if you're vulnerable?!
Yes she has done she agreed that it was the best option but was more worried about me being on my own xx
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
Follow usual protocol I guess (e.g. the clinically extremely vulnerable person to use the bathroom/communal areas first with the less at risk person/s to clean with bleach directly afterwards, etc.). When my mum comes home after being at work, she showers and the clothes she wore outside are put into a pile and washed, separately from my own. She also limits contact with her colleagues and the pupils at the school where she works. There's not much else that can be done really. I am classed as clinically extremely vulnerable and I understand the anxiety, but aside from a bit more stringent infection control protocols (that you should already be aware of) there's not a whole lot that can be done, save for people not leaving the house, which isn't exactly all that sustainable.

I'd feel a bit weird asking my mum to move out considering it's her house, not mine, is there anyway you could go and stay with a friend or family member?
She has been trying to do this at work but it’s not always easy in that environment. I had a studio at uni and was getting really anxious about going out even for air or the bins as I was touching doors even if i hand gel and washed hands I still didn’t feel safe knowing people in the sam block had Covid . So I came home thinking it was safer.

I have a really rare condition that has multiple associated issues . It’s really scary to be told you would be highly unlikely to recover. Every time I get a cold it’s steroids and antibiotics.

Family a little complicated at the min as both side of my grandparents are at risk one with cancer the other in need a of a kidney transplant but this was cancelled due to Covid. So my auntie works with my mum and both had contact.

Stay safe xx
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She has been trying to do this at work but it’s not always easy in that environment. I had a studio at uni and was getting really anxious about going out even for air or the bins as I was touching doors even if i hand gel and washed hands I still didn’t feel safe knowing people in the sam block had Covid . So I came home thinking it was safer.

I have a really rare condition that has multiple associated issues . It’s really scary to be told you would be highly unlikely to recover. Every time I get a cold it’s steroids and antibiotics.

Family a little complicated at the min as both side of my grandparents are at risk one with cancer the other in need a of a kidney transplant but this was cancelled due to Covid. So my auntie works with my mum and both had contact.

Stay safe xx

:console: Understandable. Have you spoken to your mum about your concerns? I think they're totally valid, and I understand why you're feeling the way you do.

Should you need to talk, you're welcome to send me a PM.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
:console: Understandable. Have you spoken to your mum about your concerns? I think they're totally valid, and I understand why you're feeling the way you do.

Should you need to talk, you're welcome to send me a PM.
Thank you that’s kind of you. Yer she’s done her best. She decided to stay with my auntie a few days until the test results are back for the girl at work . So where all praying there negative. I think most people don’t know what it’s like for us. Where something you take for granted like going to the gym or to a lecture is such a worry xx
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Moana92
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you that’s kind of you. Yer she’s done her best. She decided to stay with my auntie a few days until the test results are back for the girl at work . So where all praying there negative. I think most people don’t know what it’s like for us. Where something you take for granted like going to the gym or to a lecture is such a worry xx
I'm in a similar position to you as I'm also very vulnerable, and I agree that other people don't know it's like - they just think that I'm being dramatic when I refuse to go and have supper or whatnot with them. Sending you hugs and hope that it all ends up ok
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you that’s kind of you. Yer she’s done her best. She decided to stay with my auntie a few days until the test results are back for the girl at work . So where all praying there negative. I think most people don’t know what it’s like for us. Where something you take for granted like going to the gym or to a lecture is such a worry xx
For sure. My mum had to stay home a week or two ago because of a case at her school, she doesn't work directly with the children at the moment (because of me), but it was all very stressful for a little while - honestly, it still is. Still is, but her work can't entirely be done from home - although she has been starting to work more from home as her boss is uncomfortable with the rise in cases and keeping vulnerable staff in or those with vulnerable people in the home.

Unfortunately my mum is also my carer so if she were to catch it, I'd likely get it to and most likely die due to my pre-existing conditions (like you, my disorder is multisystemic). It's very nerve wracking being so out of control and vulnerable to things, and it's doing horrible things to my mental health. It's also frustrating that the government aren't really doing a whole lot to protect people like us and the people we live with, after all we don't live in isolation!


Moana92 Sorry to hear you're struggling too, like I said to OP, if you want to talk, you're welcome to message me.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moana92)
I'm in a similar position to you as I'm also very vulnerable, and I agree that other people don't know it's like - they just think that I'm being dramatic when I refuse to go and have supper or whatnot with them. Sending you hugs and hope that it all ends up ok
It’s so difficult lucky i have understanding friends and an amazing boyfriend. Still no fun when you can’t do the normal stuff. Like I still find my self thinking oh I can just nip to the shop and get some chicken or what ever I fancy at lunch xx
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
For sure. My mum had to stay home a week or two ago because of a case at her school, she doesn't work directly with the children at the moment (because of me), but it was all very stressful for a little while - honestly, it still is. Still is, but her work can't entirely be done from home - although she has been starting to work more from home as her boss is uncomfortable with the rise in cases and keeping vulnerable staff in or those with vulnerable people in the home.

Unfortunately my mum is also my carer so if she were to catch it, I'd likely get it to and most likely die due to my pre-existing conditions (like you, my disorder is multisystemic). It's very nerve wracking being so out of control and vulnerable to things, and it's doing horrible things to my mental health. It's also frustrating that the government aren't really doing a whole lot to protect people like us and the people we live with, after all we don't live in isolation!


Moana92 Sorry to hear you're struggling too, like I said to OP, if you want to talk, you're welcome to message
It’s good of her boss really most wouldn’t do
that . It’s so hard as it’s totally out of our control. My anxiety has been horrific because I got a ill 4 years ago and I was in a bad way in hospital for a while, I lost the use of my arm and had incredibly week legs . I suffered a lot after that because when I got home my immune system is so weak to . I didn’t go out or back to school because I felt so anxious . I had it all under control With the anxiety then Covid arrived and I feel the same though processes and feeling of anxiety some days.

Yes I agree the government have forgot now . I should never have gone back to uni . But I took a contract for my place in March pre Covid and my accommodation is costing £172 a week. Sadly I still have to pay it but now unis saying I need to tell SFE I am home and my student loan will be reduced not covering my accommodation that I can’t use. But I still need it because if I have to go back to uni for exams or lab work. I can’t do the drive in a day to my fatigue. It’s just so much stress Xx
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s good of her boss really most wouldn’t do
that . It’s so hard as it’s totally out of our control. My anxiety has been horrific because I got a ill 4 years ago and I was in a bad way in hospital for a while, I lost the use of my arm and had incredibly week legs . I suffered a lot after that because when I got home my immune system is so weak to . I didn’t go out or back to school because I felt so anxious . I had it all under control With the anxiety then Covid arrived and I feel the same though processes and feeling of anxiety some days.

Yes I agree the government have forgot now . I should never have gone back to uni . But I took a contract for my place in March pre Covid and my accommodation is costing £172 a week. Sadly I still have to pay it but now unis saying I need to tell SFE I am home and my student loan will be reduced not covering my accommodation that I can’t use. But I still need it because if I have to go back to uni for exams or lab work. I can’t do the drive in a day to my fatigue. It’s just so much stress Xx
Might be worth asking for MH support to help you through this, no shame in it!

Have your university been helpful?

Apologies for taking such a long time to reply! Hope things are alright your end.
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