Is my cover letter for Lidl good enough?

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XelLina
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I would like to apply for the part-time job of a working student, to be based at branch Winterhuder Weg 76 22085 Hamburg.

In November I am starting my courses in German so to improve it to a suitable university level. During that time of a few months, I'll need that student job so to be able to pay the bills.

I choose Lidl mainly because I know the brand. Back at home in Bulgaria, we use it quite often with my family since the day it opened in our hometown. I can see that the layout is relatively similar so it makes everything familiar and easy to find.

As you can see from my CV I have a moderately short experience as a salesperson at "Оffice 1". Therefore I know the basics of dealing with shelves and clearing the goods as well as doing all that in a team. As part of my job at this store was to advertise the products and help the clients make their selection or find what they need. Keeping the shelves clean and in order was essential for the sector I was placed in. Informing the management of the goods we are running short on was also another essential part of my duty. Giving a hand to a colleague in another sector that had extra work, was also quite enjoyable.

I strongly believe that I can do this job, regardless of the linguistic difficulties in the first week or month. It is expected by the end of November I'll have an A2 Certificate and begin studies on level B1.
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threeportdrift
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(Original post by XelLina)
I would like to apply for the part-time job of a working student, to be based at branch Winterhuder Weg 76 22085 Hamburg.

In November I am starting my courses in German so to improve it to a suitable university level. During that time of a few months, I'll need that student job so to be able to pay the bills.

I choose Lidl mainly because I know the brand. Back at home in Bulgaria, we use it quite often with my family since the day it opened in our hometown. I can see that the layout is relatively similar so it makes everything familiar and easy to find.

As you can see from my CV I have a moderately short experience as a salesperson at "Оffice 1". Therefore I know the basics of dealing with shelves and clearing the goods as well as doing all that in a team. As part of my job at this store was to advertise the products and help the clients make their selection or find what they need. Keeping the shelves clean and in order was essential for the sector I was placed in. Informing the management of the goods we are running short on was also another essential part of my duty. Giving a hand to a colleague in another sector that had extra work, was also quite enjoyable.

I strongly believe that I can do this job, regardless of the linguistic difficulties in the first week or month. It is expected by the end of November I'll have an A2 Certificate and begin studies on level B1.
Generally you should never even hint at negatives in a job application, so you should delete 'moderately short', 'the basics of' and everything after 'I strongly believe I can do this job'
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madame_j
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Not sure if that's a joke but if you're serious.... then NO. Saying that " I'll need that student job so to be able to pay the bills" makes your cover letter funny. We all work to pay the bills, rent etc but things like this shouldn't be mentioned in the cover letter. Focus on your strengths and try to match them with your work duties. Like, I am a good communicator so as a ... I will happy to talk to customers and help them to solve their problems etc.
Last edited by madame_j; 1 month ago
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XelLina
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Great feedback. I've fixed what you suggested. here is the updated version:

--------------------------
I would like to apply for the part-time job of a working student, to be based at branch Winterhuder Weg 76 22085 Hamburg.
In November I am starting my courses in German so to improve it to a suitable university level.

I choose Lidl mainly because I know the brand. Back at home in Bulgaria, we shop from Lidl quite often with my family since the day you opened a shop in our hometown. I can see that the layout is relatively similar so it makes everything familiar and easy to find.

As you can see from my CV I have experience as a salesperson at "Оffice 1". Therefore I know how to deal with shelves and clearing the goods as well as doing all that as a team. As part of my job was to advertise the products to interested clients and help them out in their selection or find what they need. Keeping the shelves clean and in order was essential for the sector I was placed in. Informing the management on which goods we are running short on was also another essential part of my duty. Giving a hand to a colleague in another sector that had extra work, was quite enjoyable and useful as if a client needed something from their sector I was able to help even if my colleague was not there. One of the skills I learned there is how to be a good communicator with clients and be able to effectively help them.

I strongly believe that I can do this job. I hope we can have further discussions on my application.
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I want to make it look perfect so to use it as motivation letters blueprint for the future. Thanks in advance for helping me with that ^^
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threeportdrift
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(Original post by XelLina)
Great feedback. I've fixed what you suggested. here is the updated version:

--------------------------
I would like to apply for the part-time job of a working student, to be based at branch Winterhuder Weg 76 22085 Hamburg.
In November I am starting my courses in German so to improve it to a suitable university level.

I choose Lidl mainly because I know the brand. Back at home in Bulgaria, we shop from Lidl quite often with my family since the day you opened a shop in our hometown. I can see that the layout is relatively similar so it makes everything familiar and easy to find.

As you can see from my CV I have experience as a salesperson at "Оffice 1". Therefore I know how to deal with shelves and clearing the goods as well as doing all that as a team. As part of my job was to advertise the products to interested clients and help them out in their selection or find what they need. Keeping the shelves clean and in order was essential for the sector I was placed in. Informing the management on which goods we are running short on was also another essential part of my duty. Giving a hand to a colleague in another sector that had extra work, was quite enjoyable and useful as if a client needed something from their sector I was able to help even if my colleague was not there. One of the skills I learned there is how to be a good communicator with clients and be able to effectively help them.

I strongly believe that I can do this job. I hope we can have further discussions on my application.
---------------------

I want to make it look perfect so to use it as motivation letters blueprint for the future. Thanks in advance for helping me with that ^^
The conventions for job applications vary greatly from country to country. This is mainly a UK forum and I doubt you will find many people who can advise in detail what German employers will be expecting.
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XelLina
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Thanks for the info.
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