Should I say yes to this long distance relationship?

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thehumblequest
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So I met this girl on Twitter a few months ago, during lockdown. In the last week or so, we've become really close, after I jokingly asked for significant other applications and she responded. We've been DMing every day very frequently, and spending lots of time together, talking about our shared interests. We're both girls, and both 16 years old, but I live in the UK, whereas she lives in the US, in a timezone 8 hours behind mine.

Yesterday evening, she asked me out. I panicked (I've never been in a relationship before or had any kind of romantic experiences) and basically said 'maybe'. I was so nervous and confused and I feel awful for not giving her an immediate straight answer, but I just don't know.

The thing is, I really want to say yes. She's a lovely person - we get on well and we have all the same interests and hobbies and likes. But I don't know if I like her enough to date her - I've only ever really seen her as a friend. At this point, though, I'm so desperate that I'm considering saying yes - I'm always complaining about being single, since all of my IRL friends are dating someone, and I hate being the odd gal out.

A couple of other issues:
a) This year is really important for me academically, as I'm doing my Higher exams, and I know LDRs can be super time consuming and a lot of hard work, to keep up with communication. I don't know if I have the time and energy to dedicate to that.
b) I have absolutely no idea how I would break the news to my parents, and they would DEFINITELY disapprove of the relationship.
c) I'm still a little concerned about the safety of it all... we've never met, probably never will (not for a few years, anyway, and I don't see it lasting that long). The entire relationship has been online. Is this some elaborate credit card scam from a 50 year old bloke sat in his basement in Norwich, or...?

Any and all help is greatly appreciated, thank you so much for your time!
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ROTL94
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I wouldn't but if you think you can hack not being able to be physically intimate with them, being thousands of miles apart and so on, then go for it.
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scar05
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it depends
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SoulfulTwist
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If you aren't planning to end the distance it is never going to work tbh
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thehumblequest
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(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
If you aren't planning to end the distance it is never going to work tbh
That's my thinking too. I don't ever see this becoming too serious, and neither of us have any plans to end the distance any time.
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Adz2042
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Long Distance Relationships can work, if trust, time and effort are put in.
One of my friends lived in the UK, his GF in New Jersey (New York), and they would travel every 6 months to see each other (she would come to the UK for 6 months, he'd go to USA for 6 months etc).
They got married and now both live in the USA.

For you though, it's more of a loss for you, and a win for her. Why?
Your afternoons are her mornings, your evenings are her afternoons, and when she wants to spend her evenings with you, it's your night. She 'wins' by having you stay up to chat to her in her evenings, thus you sacrifice your sleep.
Yet she also 'wins' by having a nice sleep during her night, which in theory is your morning.
Plus with school starting, and you mention you have exams and all that, it's not wise to sacrifice your nights for this.

Also, I would 100% recommend you watch Catfish TV Show. It's for people in exactly your situation with long distance relationships.
Have you searched the photo's, the phone number (done your research)?
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thehumblequest
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(Original post by Adz2042)
Long Distance Relationships can work, if trust, time and effort are put in.
One of my friends lived in the UK, his GF in New Jersey (New York), and they would travel every 6 months to see each other (she would come to the UK for 6 months, he'd go to USA for 6 months etc).
They got married and now both live in the USA.

For you though, it's more of a loss for you, and a win for her. Why?
Your afternoons are her mornings, your evenings are her afternoons, and when she wants to spend her evenings with you, it's your night. She 'wins' by having you stay up to chat to her in her evenings, thus you sacrifice your sleep.
Yet she also 'wins' by having a nice sleep during her night, which in theory is your morning.
Plus with school starting, and you mention you have exams and all that, it's not wise to sacrifice your nights for this.

Also, I would 100% recommend you watch Catfish TV Show. It's for people in exactly your situation with long distance relationships.
Have you searched the photo's, the phone number (done your research)?
Thank you so much for this response! You bring up some very good points.

The timezone difference is already a bit of a concern for me, I've noticed that I'm willing to stay up very late to try and continue our conversations, but I don't think this will be good for either of us in the long term.

I will definitely check out the show! As for research, we've yet to exchange numbers, but I've sifted through her Instagram and it all seems pretty legitimate. She's had all of her social media accounts for a decent period of time, which makes me think that she's probably genuine haha
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Adz2042
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(Original post by thehumblequest)
Thank you so much for this response! You bring up some very good points.

The timezone difference is already a bit of a concern for me, I've noticed that I'm willing to stay up very late to try and continue our conversations, but I don't think this will be good for either of us in the long term.

I will definitely check out the show! As for research, we've yet to exchange numbers, but I've sifted through her Instagram and it all seems pretty legitimate. She's had all of her social media accounts for a decent period of time, which makes me think that she's probably genuine haha
You're most welcome. Glad it's of some use.
Yeah, focus on your health and wellbeing, and don't overkill it just to continue a conversation. Explain that you need your sleep to be focused for the next day, and can continue it tomorrow.
Have you at least video called each other?
If you want to reverse image search via Instagram, this site should give you some suggestions: https://medium.com/@natauyo/how-to-p...e-a82c597d9776
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thehumblequest
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(Original post by Adz2042)
You're most welcome. Glad it's of some use.
Yeah, focus on your health and wellbeing, and don't overkill it just to continue a conversation. Explain that you need your sleep to be focused for the next day, and can continue it tomorrow.
Have you at least video called each other?
If you want to reverse image search via Instagram, this site should give you some suggestions: https://medium.com/@natauyo/how-to-p...e-a82c597d9776
Will check out the site, thank you once more.
We haven't so far, but I hope to soon, and we have plans to try Netflix Party together, etc.
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thehumblequest
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bumping thread, if anyone else has any advice or input it would be so so helpful!
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bluemuffin
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what is your gut telling you
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thehumblequest
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(Original post by bluemuffin)
what is your gut telling you
honestly, I think yes. but being the practical realist that I am, everything points against it.
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bluemuffin
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(Original post by thehumblequest)
honestly, I think yes. but being the practical realist that I am, everything points against it.
you could always try it out for a bit and see how it goes? make sure you both know you’re both taking it slow and see what happens
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thehumblequest
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(Original post by bluemuffin)
you could always try it out for a bit and see how it goes? make sure you both know you’re both taking it slow and see what happens
yeah that makes sense, I think I'll give this a go. thank you so much for your advice
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ashtolga23
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If you want a romantic experience then I'd go for it. Whether it becomes serious or not, it could be fun. You might as well try things out in my view.

If it gets in the way of your education you can always call things off, and you don't have to tell your parents until you're comfortable with it. As for safety, video calls can likely tell you if she's authentic, and just don't exchange passwords/money or whatever.
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Anonymous #1
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Well as for me,i have to consult my book first
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