Guys can’t get hard with me

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Anonymous #1
#1
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3 guys now have not been able to get an erection when we are hooking up. Not been with that many people but proportionally this is a big number. First thought is that obviously there’s something wrong I’m doing. But I get told by them I’m very attractive. And they apologise. Two of them said it was anxiety one said they weren’t ‘used to doing this’. I don’t know how to take it? They’re all 26+.

If they’re telling the truth it seems like too much of a coincidence I keep coming across guys with sex related anxiety. Otherwise dunno if I believe it. I asked straight up if they wanted me to leave and they said no.

But I feel really upset and disappointed about this and feel like there’s more to it. Guys with experience of this - share your thoughts?
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FakeNewsEditor
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I don't have experience with erectile dysfunction as such but it's a very common problem for men and especially men with anxiety. It's not as you say, sexual anxiety (performance anxiety), it can be any type of anxiety. Maybe they're anxious about work or health or w/e, it doesn't matter. It can interfere with erections even if you're extremely attracted to a person.

So I don't believe there's anything you're doing wrong. Guys don't really need that much prep to get in the mood.

In any case, don't be upset, it's very likely bad luck & nothing more.
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SomeWelshGuy123
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Did they drink a lot of alcohol?
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username5447420
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(Original post by Anonymous)
3 guys now have not been able to get an erection when we are hooking up. Not been with that many people but proportionally this is a big number. First thought is that obviously there’s something wrong I’m doing. But I get told by them I’m very attractive. And they apologise. Two of them said it was anxiety one said they weren’t ‘used to doing this’. I don’t know how to take it? They’re all 26+.

If they’re telling the truth it seems like too much of a coincidence I keep coming across guys with sex related anxiety. Otherwise dunno if I believe it. I asked straight up if they wanted me to leave and they said no.

But I feel really upset and disappointed about this and feel like there’s more to it. Guys with experience of this - share your thoughts?
Ok so here are the compounding factors

1. Porn has become so available and so widely used by men that they are masturbating ever more frequently to ever more intense fetishes that when faced with a real woman they cannot get even close to what they are getting arousal wise via their imaginations and from porn.
2. Anxiety/performance anxiety can play a huge roll in men not being able to get an erection, this is due to pretty much the entire sexual experience being rated on how good they are vs how good it is for the both of you. This societal pressure is constantly playing in men's heads as they are approaching the act and during.
3. Men lack proper diet, too much junk food, high fat and processed foods lead to atherosclerosis in the arteries and because the main artery that feeds blood to the penis is significantly smaller than most of the other arteries in the body it is usually the first to become partially blocked.
4. Some men don't do any form of exercise meaning they don't have good vascular dilation of blood vessels allowing for better blood flow

Any one of those factors can cause Erectile Dysfunction, but its mostly a few of them at a time or maybe all of them.

If you want to see how bad for you porn is you can just hop over to the nofap subreddit and see hundreds of thousands of men who struggle daily with breaking the addiction of porn and masturbation and hear their stories of how it's ruined there lives. Erectile dysfunction in young men is actually an epidemic that most people have no clue about because it's going by largely unreported because of the stigma involved.
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Racresmol
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Honestly I don't think it'd anything to do with you! If they didn't find you attractive they wouldn't even try with you, and conversely if they do it's because they're turned on/attracted by you. Just try no to overthink about it too much, for your own benefit and also theirs - it can feel very embarrassing for a guy when that happens and (while I empathise with your wondering whether there's something wrong) asking if they want you to leave us probably gonna make them feel bad worse about it.
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Anonymous #2
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I didn’t ejaculate when i lost my virginity, or whenever I have sex. But I got hard, so it can’t be erectile dysfunction.
But maybe they are anxious, tell them to ease up a bit
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Racresmol
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(Original post by SomeWelshGuy123)
Did they drink a lot of alcohol?
F*ck this is a big factor. Never drink too much if you're going home with someone 🙃🙃
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username5447420
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I didn’t ejaculate when i lost my virginity, or whenever I have sex. But I got hard, so it can’t be erectile dysfunction.
But maybe they are anxious, tell them to ease up a bit
That's called delayed ejaculation, if you have problems with that you can discuss it with your partner after you have satisfied him/her or he/she or you get bored, she can perform oral sex on you or give you a handjob till you finish.
Last edited by username5447420; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by jacobf91)
That's called delayed ejaculation, if you have problems with that you can discuss it with your partner after you have satisfied her or she or you get bored, she can perform oral sex on you or give you a handjob till you finish.
I’m not with her anymore
But when we did it 3x I just got home and finished off but it was way more than what I normally produced..
Sad times
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username5447420
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m not with her anymore
But when we did it 3x I just got home and finished off but it was way more than what I normally produced..
Sad times
But in the future, when you get another partner, if it happens again you know what to do.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by jacobf91)
But in the future, when you get another partner, if it happens again you know what to do.
I’m sure it wouldn’t happen, the thing is, I was probably just scared of the repercussions. I’m a really educated lad, I don’t really want any kids and I’m still so young.. (17 years old) maybe that was why
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username5447420
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(Original post by Anonymous)
3 guys now have not been able to get an erection when we are hooking up. Not been with that many people but proportionally this is a big number. First thought is that obviously there’s something wrong I’m doing. But I get told by them I’m very attractive. And they apologise. Two of them said it was anxiety one said they weren’t ‘used to doing this’. I don’t know how to take it? They’re all 26+.

If they’re telling the truth it seems like too much of a coincidence I keep coming across guys with sex related anxiety. Otherwise dunno if I believe it. I asked straight up if they wanted me to leave and they said no.

But I feel really upset and disappointed about this and feel like there’s more to it. Guys with experience of this - share your thoughts?
Also if it's really annoying you, you can just buy some viagra from the chemist and keep it at home or in your purse for a rainy day, if you get with a guy and he can't get hard, just tell him you've got some blue magic to give it to him as long as they are willing to take it they can pleasure you for 15 - 20 mins while it gets absorbed into the bloodstream.
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username5447420
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m sure it wouldn’t happen, the thing is, I was probably just scared of the repercussions. I’m a really educated lad, I don’t really want any kids and I’m still so young.. (17 years old) maybe that was why
If you were really educated you'd be using a condom :P
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by jacobf91)
If you were really educated you'd be using a condom :P
I did but she told me to take it off
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Scottishlad888
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Thats so sad l am always able to get wood /erection but l dont do hookups l prefer long term dating maybe you should look for an older guy that would be able to please you in bed all night l am a guy like that l aim to please the girl l can do it all night but l take a break for some food and something to drink l hope you get a nice guy that can please you in bed
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I did but she told me to take it off
We were in the moment too, plus I’m a really horny guy lol
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Racresmol)
Honestly I don't think it'd anything to do with you! If they didn't find you attractive they wouldn't even try with you, and conversely if they do it's because they're turned on/attracted by you. Just try no to overthink about it too much, for your own benefit and also theirs - it can feel very embarrassing for a guy when that happens and (while I empathise with your wondering whether there's something wrong) asking if they want you to leave us probably gonna make them feel bad worse about it.
Yeah I know that - with one partner the only way he moved past it is when I stopped mentioning it. But also when a guy is really nice he won’t say outright no I’m not attracted to you. Sometimes things come up during sex that then you off too. As a girl it’s really hard to know how to take it without asking (which as you say can make things worse). But as girls we also spend hours preparing sometimes (waxing, shaving, makeup) and it’s really disappointing for it to be for nothing and find out someone else isn’t enjoying it. I have to say it feels bad. I even shed tears one time. Try to be really nice and understanding about it but truth is they also feel bad and want the whole thing to end too. So all in all always ends awkward and both people feel bad
(Original post by jacobf91)
Also if it's really annoying you, you can just buy some viagra from the chemist and keep it at home or in your purse for a rainy day, if you get with a guy and he can't get hard, just tell him you've got some blue magic to give it to him as long as they are willing to take it they can pleasure you for 15 - 20 mins while it gets absorbed into the bloodstream.
Thanks for the suggestion, wouldn’t they be offended?
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
3 guys now have not been able to get an erection when we are hooking up. Not been with that many people but proportionally this is a big number. First thought is that obviously there’s something wrong I’m doing. But I get told by them I’m very attractive. And they apologise. Two of them said it was anxiety one said they weren’t ‘used to doing this’. I don’t know how to take it? They’re all 26+.

If they’re telling the truth it seems like too much of a coincidence I keep coming across guys with sex related anxiety. Otherwise dunno if I believe it. I asked straight up if they wanted me to leave and they said no.

But I feel really upset and disappointed about this and feel like there’s more to it. Guys with experience of this - share your thoughts?
What is your background ethnicity?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What is your background ethnicity?
What’s that got to do with it?
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Jahana
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What’s that got to do with it?
It can be an issue, hence I’m asking. What is your ethnicity?
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