What does this mean? am i being selfish?

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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i have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years now, his father very sadly was in the hospital very sick for about a week last week (he’s home now and they’re waiting on results for scans but he’s no longer in pain or immediate danger) my boyfriend took this very hard and with the lockdown I couldn’t go to see him to try and take his mind off of it or listen to him or be whatever he needed me to be. He took major steps back from me, ignoring me, asking for space, he hadn’t said i love you in a week now. and i know that’s silly because it’s only been a week however we used to say it everyday multiple times a day, and it’s gone to never. i do everything he wants from me, i’ve left him alone and only replied when he’s text me, i pray for his health and his families health as religion is a big thing for him and is becoming a big thing for me. i just don’t know what to do. he says there’s just a lot going on, which i’m doing my best to understand, however i’m just not happy at the moment. all i want is for him to tell me he loves me or that he misses me. he said ‘i have love for you’ instead of i love you, which was a bit scary for me.

am i being selfish? i think i might be.
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tbi_zlx
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years now, his father very sadly was in the hospital very sick for about a week last week (he’s home now and they’re waiting on results for scans but he’s no longer in pain or immediate danger) my boyfriend took this very hard and with the lockdown I couldn’t go to see him to try and take his mind off of it or listen to him or be whatever he needed me to be. He took major steps back from me, ignoring me, asking for space, he hadn’t said i love you in a week now. and i know that’s silly because it’s only been a week however we used to say it everyday multiple times a day, and it’s gone to never. i do everything he wants from me, i’ve left him alone and only replied when he’s text me, i pray for his health and his families health as religion is a big thing for him and is becoming a big thing for me. i just don’t know what to do. he says there’s just a lot going on, which i’m doing my best to understand, however i’m just not happy at the moment. all i want is for him to tell me he loves me or that he misses me. he said ‘i have love for you’ instead of i love you, which was a bit scary for me.

am i being selfish? i think i might be.
Honestly relax and dont worry about it. Obviously he will be going thru a rough patch now with dad and all so as a girlfriend you should be there to love and support him. I know you miss the fact that he hasnt said I love you but its only becuase rn he is going thru so much and has nothing but worry on his mind
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ChickenMadness
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Ye that is kind of selfish and needy given the situation. Let him take care of his dad. You're just gonna add to his stress levels if you nag him about this. He might end up resenting you for it.

Dudes next to his dying dad in hospital and you're like, 'do you miss me? :cry2:'

You have to be in a good mood to tell people you love them as well. He's obviously not in a good mood at the moment.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by ChickenMadness)
Ye that is kind of selfish and needy given the situation. Let him take care of his dad. You're just gonna add to his stress levels if you nag him about this. He might end up resenting you for it.

Dudes next to his dying dad in hospital and you're like, 'do you miss me? :cry2:'

You have to be in a good mood to tell people you love them as well. He's obviously not in a good mood at the moment.
lmfaoooo that’s mean i’m obviously not telling him about this. he doesn’t know that i feel this way, and i’d never tell him that because i don’t want him to resent me. i’ve literally left him alone for a week and didn’t speak to him at all on our anniversary which is unheard of since i have attachment anxiety (which i’m getting therapy for).
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by tbi_zlx)
Honestly relax and dont worry about it. Obviously he will be going thru a rough patch now with dad and all so as a girlfriend you should be there to love and support him. I know you miss the fact that he hasnt said I love you but its only becuase rn he is going thru so much and has nothing but worry on his mind
i think that’s the thing, i don’t know how to be there. i am VERY lucky in the fact that i’ve never lost anyone i love and nobody has ever been seriously ill, i can’t relate at all, i can be upset for him and try to see it from his point of view but i’d never understand. i’ve done everything hes asked me to do by giving him space and various other things.

i still feel like i could be doing more to be what he needs from me right now. idk
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ChickenMadness
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(Original post by Anonymous)
lmfaoooo that’s mean i’m obviously not telling him about this. he doesn’t know that i feel this way, and i’d never tell him that because i don’t want him to resent me. i’ve literally left him alone for a week and didn’t speak to him at all on our anniversary which is unheard of since i have attachment anxiety (which i’m getting therapy for).
Ye a week isn't a long time. I'm assuming his dad being in hospital + the recovery is going to take longer than a week. So he's gonna be focused on that.

I'm not saying your feelings are invalid, but you just need to learn to deal with it on your own for a bit, or talk to other people about it so you don't add an extra burden to his shoulders. Maybe once it's been over a month and he's ghosting you then that would be concerning.
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