Am I to blame for the break up?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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Hello, so me and my ex dated for about 3 months before he ended things with me. Thins were going good and we really had chemistry. He was giving me attention, texted and called all the time. But after 2 months in I can feel things changing as his texts werent that romantic as it used to be and he woudnt call as much as before, he would say he would call but he would not. He also started cancelling our dates like twice saying he was busy with work and he could not make it. We lived an hour away and I always went to see him and he only came once to see me. I understand this happened as I still live with family and he has his own place so it was easier to meet. A week before we broke up he was meant to come and see me but he said he has a cold and thought it was covid. He said it would be best to see me once he got tested and I said ok. Since he has been cancelling quite a lot of time, I asked him if he is bored with me and if he has lost interest, I also mentioned that he might think that I dont have anything much going on in my life as I was not working. He replied saying that he is lucky to have me but the timing might be wrong as he has got on at the moment, after few days he broke up with me saying that he is not a good choice of a boyfriend and he cant commit to being with me as he cant give time. I kinda begged him to make things work saying that I can go to see him and things would be his way so that it is more convenient for him. He was stubborn with his decision saying he was sure of his decision and that he has being realistic and still he cant give time. He also said that if he is in a relationship then he was to be with his full heart and when he can give time. Another thing I would like to mention is that he always texts me back after like 10 hours when he is working. He also diverted my calls to voicemall once when i tried to call him after he mentioned that the timing for us is not right. He did not reply to my texts or calls for that whole day till later that night. He also once said that he can be in his own world and forget to text back when I asked him once why he has not replied when he got home from a long trip. I texted him around 3pm asking what he is doing and he was due to set off at 6pm but never got a reply from him. I could see him online around 10pm that night without any reply from him then i called him at 12am he picked up and said that he was reading a book.Things were not making sense so I asked him again the next day why he hasnt replied when he was online the other night to which he replied he might had been driving and said not sure why he didnt reply. I am saying all these things as I didnt know if I did something wrong for him to break up with me or if i was at fault. I always read stuff that when a man truly wants you then he will make it work and that he will make time for the person he wants Many thanks
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Zarek
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Report 1 month ago
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I don’t think you are to blame. I’ve been in a similar situation and wondered if I was too keen and clingy and if I’d played it a bit cooler what was initially a very good relationship would have lasted longer. With experience I’ve seen that good relationships do just burn out for reasons that are difficult to explain. It’s about compatibility as the relationship develops but just as much about readiness and state of mind of the person that decides to finish it. So while there is no harm in reflecting on learnings, it’s just one of these things. New and better love comes.
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candydiva
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Intense romantic attention always burns out. U need to be comfy with a different level of interaction in a longer term connection and if ur rel depends on such intensity then for sure it will never last long. It's natural.
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