Anonymous #1
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Long story short, i come from a traditional pakistani family. My mum raised us alone in an inner city area.

My sister is younger than me (22) and she recently got a job in a pub. She secretly drinks, dresses not very islamically and takes weed. Her shift's finish at 10pm but she does not come home until half 1 in the morning and claims she is talking to her co workers.

My mum is a push over. She thinks my sister is working in a restaurant. I had an argument with my sister recently and told her to get a grip but her response was she's an adult and can do whatever the hell she wants.

I'm sick and tired of her crap. My mum won't sleep until she gets back home because she's worried and I'm just so angry. Who tf spends 3 hours socialising after there shift???? I hate her so much for the stress she causes this family
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chocobi
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She's 22 let her be young wild and free...
Unless she's still living off your mum's money idk
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by chocobi)
She's 22 let he be young wild and free
I agree but she can do this by moving out and living her life. She KNOWS the amount of stress her behaviour causes my mum and she still continues
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JustOneMoreThing
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Lol, you hate her for the stress she causes your family?

What stress, the only inflated ballon here is you, mind your business and get on with your own life.
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Mr T 999
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Tell your mum what she does and she'll probably get sent to Pakistan to get married lol problem solved
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by JustOneMoreThing)
Lol, you hate her for the stress she causes your family?

What stress, the only inflated ballon here is you, mind your business and get on with your own life.
The stress she causes my mother. I firmly believe that if your living under someone else's roof you should show them some respect. I know she drinks and all the rest and i dont care. What i do care about is my mother staying up late at night because she's worried about her returning home safely
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by weightlifting98)
yeah geez these people think they can come to the UK and judge people for living life like a normal person here!
I'm not judging her at all. If i was then I would have had an issue with her working in the pub. What i do have an issue with is her shady behaviour about socialising for 3 hours with co workers after her shift (no one does that) and worrying my mum
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KNW
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not judging her at all. If i was then I would have had an issue with her working in the pub. What i do have an issue with is her shady behaviour about socialising for 3 hours with co workers after her shift (no one does that) and worrying my mum
If your concern is truly for your mother and not just being judgemental towards your sister, then your energy would be better spent directly on your mother than shaming your sister. Maybe calmly explain to your sister that it stresses your mum when she's out so much so would she be able to maybe stay out a little less (emphasis on little) and then the times she does stay out, you tell your mum that she can go to sleep and that you promise youll wait up for your sister instead because youre more physically able to
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not judging her at all. If i was then I would have had an issue with her working in the pub. What i do have an issue with is her shady behaviour about socialising for 3 hours with co workers after her shift (no one does that) and worrying my mum
As you say, she is an adult and can do what she wants.
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Bio 7
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Why does your mother worry so much? She is 22 not 12 and an imbecile.

Sounds like you just want to complain about her when in truth she isn't doing anything that bad.
Last edited by Bio 7; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by KNW)
If your concern is truly for your mother and not just being judgemental towards your sister, then your energy would be better spent directly on your mother than shaming your sister. Maybe calmly explain to your sister that it stresses your mum when she's out so much so would she be able to maybe stay out a little less (emphasis on little) and then the times she does stay out, you tell your mum that she can go to sleep and that you promise youll wait up for your sister instead because youre more physically able to
It is nearly half 1 rn. My sister is not home despite her shift finishing at 10. She is not picking up her phone or responding to messages. My mum's mind is going into overdrive and she refuses to sleep. This is why i made this thread. My sister's lack of communication and transparency makes me so so angry. And I tried to tell her to come home sooner and her response was "i'm an adult, i can make decisions for myself, don't tell me what to do". The fact that she can't drive and relies on taxi's/public transport also doesn't helpt the situation
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Bio 7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It is nearly half 1 rn. My sister is not home despite her shift finishing at 10. She is not picking up her phone or responding to messages. My mum's mind is going into overdrive and she refuses to sleep. This is why i made this thread. My sister's lack of communication and transparency makes me so so angry. And I tried to tell her to come home sooner and her response was "i'm an adult, i can make decisions for myself, don't tell me what to do". The fact that she can't drive and relies on taxi's/public transport also doesn't helpt the situation
Your mother needs to work on that and trust her, it's nit healthy to be this concerned. If she gets this worried why doesn't she talk to your sister?
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It is nearly half 1 rn. My sister is not home despite her shift finishing at 10. She is not picking up her phone or responding to messages. My mum's mind is going into overdrive and she refuses to sleep. This is why i made this thread. My sister's lack of communication and transparency makes me so so angry. And I tried to tell her to come home sooner and her response was "i'm an adult, i can make decisions for myself, don't tell me what to do". The fact that she can't drive and relies on taxi's/public transport also doesn't helpt the situation
Not to be mean, but perhaps get a life of your own? It really sound like you are jealous of your sister being out. She is an adult, she does not need to be transparent and report her every move to you or her mum or anyone. I get that your mum worries, but that doesn't mean your sister should be confined to the house and not live her life. Parents worry, it's part of being a parent.
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Anonymous #1
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I think TSR isn't the best place to vent. You will never understand our culture.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Long story short, i come from a traditional pakistani family. My mum raised us alone in an inner city area.

My sister is younger than me (22) and she recently got a job in a pub. She secretly drinks, dresses not very islamically and takes weed. Her shift's finish at 10pm but she does not come home until half 1 in the morning and claims she is talking to her co workers.

My mum is a push over. She thinks my sister is working in a restaurant. I had an argument with my sister recently and told her to get a grip but her response was she's an adult and can do whatever the hell she wants.

I'm sick and tired of her crap. My mum won't sleep until she gets back home because she's worried and I'm just so angry. Who tf spends 3 hours socialising after there shift???? I hate her so much for the stress she causes this family
Heyy, as a fellow Muslim and Pakistani, I understand what you’re saying, I don’t have any advice for this situation, but TSR is definitely the wrong place to post this because these people don’t understand the level of respect we have for our parents in our culture. And how above and beyond they go for us. I think you’re completely right, but your sister seems very ignorant about it, so there’s really no point in saying anything to her, maybe try figuring out a way where you could convince your mum that everything is fine and you’ll watch out for her.

Also, I know some people will disagree with what I have to say, but this is my opinion and it’s for the OP
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think TSR isn't the best place to vent. You will never understand our culture.
I mean, you live in the UK - you have to accept that it is totally normal for your sister to be influenced by and want to be part of that culture. If you chose to be more conservative and stick to traditional Pakistani values, that's fine, but it doesn't mean your sister has to.
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
these people don’t understand the level of respect we have for our parents in our culture. And how above and beyond they go for us.
Sure, we don't understand. Respecting parents and parents doing the best for their children is exclusive to your culture :rolleyes:
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by weightlifting98)
shes just being judgemental like a lot of muslims are to people that live regular lives in the UK
No she isn’t, she doesn’t care about what her sister does, like working in a pub, drinking alcohol. It’s just the stress and worry her sister is causing her mum, by not responding to her calls/messages.

And I do agree a lot of Muslims are judgemental (saying this as a Muslim myself), but this is no where near being judgemental
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No she isn’t, she doesn’t care about what her sister does, like working in a pub, drinking alcohol. It’s just the stress and worry her sister is causing her mum, by not responding to her calls/messages.

And I do agree a lot of Muslims are judgemental (saying this as a Muslim myself), but this is no where near being judgemental
Someone who finally gets it!! If I had something against western values then I would bash her for drinking alcohol/working in a pub. I genuinely don't care about that. It's the worry in my mum's face when she hasn't picked up the phone 20 times in a row and then thinking she can stroll in without a care in the world. All my mum wants is for her to pick up her phone and say she is safe. That's what is causing me so much anger
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Fermion.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Long story short, i come from a traditional pakistani family. My mum raised us alone in an inner city area.

My sister is younger than me (22) and she recently got a job in a pub. She secretly drinks, dresses not very islamically and takes weed. Her shift's finish at 10pm but she does not come home until half 1 in the morning and claims she is talking to her co workers.

My mum is a push over. She thinks my sister is working in a restaurant. I had an argument with my sister recently and told her to get a grip but her response was she's an adult and can do whatever the hell she wants.

I'm sick and tired of her crap. My mum won't sleep until she gets back home because she's worried and I'm just so angry. Who tf spends 3 hours socialising after there shift???? I hate her so much for the stress she causes this family
Coming from someone who is also of a south Asian background - you just need to get over it. Whatever your sister does is on her and at the end of the day she is an adult. Stop worrying about shite you can’t control
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