holycookie
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My parents have always wanted me to be a doctor so i guess i played along and said ‘yeah i want to be a doctor’. But now that i have to pick my a levels i dont know if thats what i want to do. I dont know if i will enjoy studying for 7 years of my life just to get low wages and then spending all my life working only to get to the top and get good pay when im like 60.
I want to do Economics, maths, and spanish a level and chemistry AS as i would like be a barrister and do law and european law at oxbridge.
When i told my parents this, they got mad, shouted, made fun of me and now are basically forcing me to do Bio chem and maths a level in order to do medicine. Will i enjoy that? I dont know, maybe. Will get into oxbridge doing a levels and that i don’t necessarily enjoy with al right grades? I dont know, maybe not.
In my parents’ eyes, there is nothing better and off a higher ‘status’ than being a doctor. They literally made fun of me for wanted to be a barrister and my extended family will definitely do the same. The physcological pressure and stress and what that does to your mental health is crazy.
I know that i should do what I want to do as it is my future but how can i do that when i will get shouted at and made fun of which will make me doubt if thats the career path i want to take. My parents said that i will ‘enjoy’ being a doctor and now thats just confusing me because im think ‘will i’.
I dont know what to do when i live with the problem.
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username5420160
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(Original post by holycookie)
My parents have always wanted me to be a doctor so i guess i played along and said ‘yeah i want to be a doctor’. But now that i have to pick my a levels i dont know if thats what i want to do. I dont know if i will enjoy studying for 7 years of my life just to get low wages and then spending all my life working only to get to the top and get good pay when im like 60.
I want to do Economics, maths, and spanish a level and chemistry AS as i would like be a barrister and do law and european law at oxbridge.
When i told my parents this, they got mad, shouted, made fun of me and now are basically forcing me to do Bio chem and maths a level in order to do medicine. Will i enjoy that? I dont know, maybe. Will get into oxbridge doing a levels and that i don’t necessarily enjoy with al right grades? I dont know, maybe not.
In my parents’ eyes, there is nothing better and ofa higher ‘status’ than being a doctor. They anted to be a barrister and my extended family will The psychological pressure and stress and what that does to your mental health are crazy.
I know that I should do what I want to do it as it is my future but how can I do that when I will get shouted at and made fun of which will make me doubt if that's the career path I want to take. My parents said that I will ‘enjoy’ being a doctor and now that's just confusing me because I'm thinking ‘will I’.
I don't know what to do when I live with the problem.
I know that parents who tend to do this just want the best for you and in their eyes, they believe the best is for you to become a doctor. I've had the same reaction from other people as well. Parents like this can make life a bit difficult lol the best thing you can do is organise a time when you want them to sit down and have a SERIOUS chat!

You could mention:
* If studying law/ becoming a lawyer was considered low status then it wouldn't have been offered at top institutions such as Oxford, Cambridge and Harvard.
* A Uk barristers salary can range from 48k-100k: https://www.indeed.co.uk/salaries/barrister-Salaries
*Thinking about YOUR happiness since you are THEIR child.
*Why you like law and why you prefer it over medicine!
*Why they didn't become a doctor (be careful they could become hostile over this lol)

Remember! These type of topics can easily create arguments so try and keep a respectful manner!
I think they will support you nonetheless. Good luck! ✌
Last edited by username5420160; 4 weeks ago
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Krambo_
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Ok, first of all the most and only important thing is what you want to do.

I know it's a lot easier said than done, but Medicine is not one of those careers where you just do it because someone told you to. It requires a lot of commitment and determination and only those who really want to do it will enjoy and get through it. I do know people who were forced to do it and now they're really struggling and hate their job. Think of it like this, you'd rather NOT do it in the first place than waste 3-6 years at uni studying to only drop out afterwards. (Medicine is generally 5 years but you get a degree after 3 years and actually become a doctor after 5 years, although some people do an intercalated year making it 6 years in total - Some people drop out of uni after 3 years). And yes, you're right in saying low wages, especially at your junior doctor years. But remember, people don't become doctors for the money; because there is none, until you become a consultant in your mid 30's or you do private healthcare work. So if money is part of your motivation, medicine is not the one for you.

If you want to do Economics, Maths and Spanish then do those subjects... I know again it's a lot easier said than done, but if you don't like sciences then don't do them. A-levels are very very hard, especially compared to GCSE's, so you need to enjoy the subjects you do otherwise it will be hard to stay motivated throughout the next two years. Also Oxbridge is the one of the, if not the hardest to get into for Law and for Medicine. Are you sure you would be able to get through the rigorous interview process for a degree you have no interest in? Bare in mind there is also the BMAT aptitude test you will have to score very highly in as well. Even after all of that you have to achieve A*AA - A*A*A in A-levels which you don't enjoy.

I know all I've done is spoken really negatively so far and said don't do medicine basically... but have you actually done work experience yet? I understand it's quite hard to get a hospital placement during these current circumstances but it's worth doing your research and seeing if it's something you might enjoy.

If you have your mind set on Law then that is 100% the thing you need to do. It means you're passionate about it and that's part of the foundation for success. This is probably the hardest part but you have to talk to your parents and say you don't want to do medicine and want to do Law. Say you don't like science A-levels and won't be happy studying medicine. Say Medicine isn't a career which is always positive and happy all the time, (I'm not saying Law is any easier) but you have to explain that you don't want to study a degree for potentially up to 6 years which you have no interest in.
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katiegsu5
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Hi there
I’m in In yr 12 too and was considering doing bio/chem & psych because my parents wanted me to do med too, but i didn’t think it was for me so I changed my subjects!

I know it must be really hard to do want you want considering how your parents are being, but i really think you should do the subjects you want! Law is just as ‘prestigious’ as medicine and barristers can earn more than doctors will at times.

I think you should it do & do really well in your subjects and prove to your parents & family that you can do just as good without being doctor!

You might regret this in the future so i suggest you listen to what you really want to do! You seem like a very bright student & I think you’ll excel no matter what you do! I think in time you’re parents will come to terms with it but i strongly suggest you do what you want!

Hope everything works out for you
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nexttime
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(Original post by holycookie)
My parents have always wanted me to be a doctor so i guess i played along and said ‘yeah i want to be a doctor’. But now that i have to pick my a levels i dont know if thats what i want to do. I dont know if i will enjoy studying for 7 years of my life just to get low wages and then spending all my life working only to get to the top and get good pay when im like 60.
I know you were probably exaggerating deliberately, but for sake of accuracy: medical school is 5, sometimes 6 years, followed by a career of lifelong learning. You could be a GP by 28 (normal more likely 29-30), or a consultant by 31 (normal more like 33-35), at which point you are earning £75k i.e. 2.5x national average wage.

However...

I want to do Economics, maths, and spanish a level and chemistry AS as i would like be a barrister and do law and european law at oxbridge. When i told my parents this, they got mad, shouted, made fun of me
Your parents are mocking you for wanting to do Law at Oxbridge? What the actual.... sorry but some people are so dumb.

This is new to them. Persist. Maybe show them that, on average, Oxford law graduates make as much as a consultant does, but just 5 years after graduation i.e. but a full 10 years earlier?
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