helping annorexics?

*Anorexic!*

You can only help the sufferer once they are ready to be helped and help themselves.

Reply 2

pamelaa

17

Yeah. The only thing you can really do is to let them know you're there really.

Reply 3

Amie..x

Its a mental illness. My friend is like a rake and she said she looks in the mirror and sees herself as fat.

Its crazy.

Theres nothing you can do though except be there for them. The doctor can take care of the rest. I know my friend would rather not talk about it. Everyone is different though I guess.

x

Reply 4

OP

Ah, that's the kind of answer I was dreading...
It's horrible to see people suffer like that who you care about and not being able to do anything about it.

Can you not even prevent them from becoming anorexic if you see them starting on the path?

:frown:

Reply 5

fn_101

Be there for them, don't judge or be to forceful (unless necessary).

Reply 6

becki08

I wish I knew! My best friend is severely anorexic. I'm there for her as much as I can but I don't really know what to do to help.

Reply 7

KayleeLand

Adarah

Ah, that's the kind of answer I was dreading...
It's horrible to see people suffer like that who you care about and not being able to do anything about it.

Can you not even prevent them from becoming anorexic if you see them starting on the path?

:frown:

You seem to require some serious medical info. and should probably head to a GP or a local eating disorder clinic. What you will find out is that anorexia encompasses many different types of eating disorders. Preventing them is difficult and the sufferer will most likely develop the ability to hide their disorder. Once it is noticeable, it is already too late to prevent.

Reply 8

PointeShoes-x

14

I feel for you so much. My best friend had an eating disorder for a year and it really affected me. I tried everything I could to help, but nothing seemed to work and it really affected our friendship too. Unfortunately I think the only thing you can do is to make sure she knows you're there for her if she needs to talk about it, and maybe you could suggest things like counselling or going to the GP if you think it's suitable. Good luck. :smile:

Reply 9

OP

so if there is nothing you can do until they want help, well... what wants people want help? when they're told their body is so far damaged they can never have kids? when they realise they are out of touch with the world because they've spent the last 5 years in and out of hospitals?

i just find it hard to accept that you have to watch someone you love go through that without being able to do anything to help them at all.

i know that i don't know that much about it, as I don't suffer from it, so I was just wondering if anyone who had could tell me how i could/if I could help at all and how.

Reply 10

InnocentEyes

Adarah

Is there any way to prevent someone from becoming an anorexic if you see the signs?
Not really, you can only encourage them to get help as quickly as possible before the illness is too far advanced.
And what about stopping someone from having a relapse?
Ditto. Totally depends on the person but I suppose in this scenario they might be more receptive to you saying 'I know you're struggling with this again'. Denial CAN be instrumental in relapse but if the person is ambivalent about it there's not a lot you can do.
And how can you help someone who has anorexia?
Just be a good friend, the same way you would for anyone who is struggling with problems in their life. Don't make your friendship all about the illness, rather let it be something of an escape for them. Keep including the person in your plans even if they try to isolate themselves. Just don't bother talking about weight in any detail. Let them know you wish they could/would recover but don't push it.

It's awesome that you asked these qs really :wink:

Tbh anorexia is, underneath it all, just someone who is unhappy/unsatisfied/hurt disguised with loads of crap about weight/food. SO, my advice would be, treat a friend struggling the same way you would if she were simply stressed/upset in general and try to ignore the rest. That's for the professionals :p:

Reply 11

OP

PointeShoes-x

I feel for you so much. My best friend had an eating disorder for a year and it really affected me. I tried everything I could to help, but nothing seemed to work and it really affected our friendship too. Unfortunately I think the only thing you can do is to make sure she knows you're there for her if she needs to talk about it, and maybe you could suggest things like counselling or going to the GP if you think it's suitable. Good luck. :smile:

did counselling help her or going to the GP? I read up some things on the internet and most stories I read scared me. The anorexics basically said that GPs didn't help at all, nothing did until they basically ruined their lives and it was so bad that even they realised it.
But surely i shouldn't try to ruin someone's life, just so that they reach the low point sooner :shifty:

.

Reply 12

KayleeLand

You can be supportive but your friend needs a TRAINED professional!

Reply 13

OP

InnocentEyes

It's awesome that you asked these qs really :wink:

Tbh anorexia is, underneath it all, just someone who is unhappy/unsatisfied/hurt disguised with loads of crap about weight/food. SO, my advice would be, treat a friend struggling the same way you would if she were simply stressed/upset in general and try to ignore the rest. That's for the professionals :p:

So not focus on food and just take them on good girly nights out or just do things with them that they enjoy? Thanks for your advice! :smile:

It does make a lot of sense... there is obviously the food issue, but I suppose it would have a lot to do with some confidence issues and possibly depression of some kind too... hmmm, well it certainly something to think about!

Reply 14

Hyeree

my friend's got bulimia :frown:

too bad i found about it the day after we had a fight... we dont talk about deep stuff anymore and i dont feel as if it's my place to get her to see a doctor.
i just want my old non-bulimic and non-jealous-bitch back!!

Reply 15

fn_101

To be honest, the food thing is just a symptom. There are other deep rooted things (which may well be linking with bullying/low self-esteem) which then manifests into this obsession with weight by being something to control.
I think a good thing to do is to try and understand, read up on it if you have to - just don't judge, and don't stop treating them like a normal person. Support them through recovery, and remind them of the benefits during the hard times.
I hope the person you know gets better soon xxx

Reply 16

TheOneWho

12

Whatever you do don't force them to eat. It can turn them the other way so they end up going towards bulimia and they'll probably end up resenting you. Also, try not to mention food or say how thin they are.

Anorexia is usually (but not always) a sign of something much deeper. You need to be supportive of them and not treat them any differently to how you did before.

Reply 17

OP

Thanks for the advice girls! :smile:

xxx

I hope your friend gets better, Hyeree! And maybe you will become closer again in the future!

Reply 18

InnocentEyes