boy troubles help pls

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ca_1234
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#1
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so I was speaking to a boy for a long time at the start of the year. He ended it in like April because “he felt like we were better as friends” which really hurt, especially since I didn’t actually like him in the beginning. He asked all my friends about how to impress me and how to talk to me and I was so reluctant to start something new (trust issues ofc) but I did. Then he ended it which really hurt. After then though we kept in contact but as friends which looking back didn’t really help. Up till now I thought I was over him but I’m just realising that I’m not and I don’t know what to do because we are still friends but it hurts sm knowing that he doesn’t like me anymore. Mind you, I don’t really like to go out of my way to start conversations with him because it kinda hurts but he starts conversations with me!!! Someone help please
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999tigger
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(Original post by ca_1234)
so I was speaking to a boy for a long time at the start of the year. He ended it in like April because “he felt like we were better as friends” which really hurt, especially since I didn’t actually like him in the beginning. He asked all my friends about how to impress me and how to talk to me and I was so reluctant to start something new (trust issues ofc) but I did. Then he ended it which really hurt. After then though we kept in contact but as friends which looking back didn’t really help. Up till now I thought I was over him but I’m just realising that I’m not and I don’t know what to do because we are still friends but it hurts sm knowing that he doesn’t like me anymore. Mind you, I don’t really like to go out of my way to start conversations with him because it kinda hurts but he starts conversations with me!!! Someone help please
The standard advice is cut contact and move on.
You cant deal with friends and its a reminder plus a good way to beat yourself up.
It isnt happening because it has to work for both and in your case it only potentially works for you.
Just block him, socialise with your gfs more and keep up with studies. A new interest will come along eventually or you can just develop yourself.
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ashtolga23
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I understand that it may not be what you want to do, but you really have to cut off contact to be fully over him in my opinion. I've always hated that advice because I develop crushes on friends rather than acquaintances usually, so it's a painful process, but it really is the only way to move on that I've found works.

I hope you're alright, and that the recovery from this goes as well as it can. You will get through this and you'll be better because of it.
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Kerzen
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(Original post by ca_1234)
so I was speaking to a boy for a long time at the start of the year. He ended it in like April because “he felt like we were better as friends” which really hurt, especially since I didn’t actually like him in the beginning. He asked all my friends about how to impress me and how to talk to me and I was so reluctant to start something new (trust issues ofc) but I did. Then he ended it which really hurt. After then though we kept in contact but as friends which looking back didn’t really help. Up till now I thought I was over him but I’m just realising that I’m not and I don’t know what to do because we are still friends but it hurts sm knowing that he doesn’t like me anymore. Mind you, I don’t really like to go out of my way to start conversations with him because it kinda hurts but he starts conversations with me!!! Someone help please
How old are you both and how do you know each other?
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ca_1234
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(Original post by Kerzen)
How old are you both and how do you know each other?
We’re both 16 and we knew of each other prior to us speaking, but he got to know me through one of our mutual friends then approached me if that makes sense
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ca_1234
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(Original post by ashtolga23)
I understand that it may not be what you want to do, but you really have to cut off contact to be fully over him in my opinion. I've always hated that advice because I develop crushes on friends rather than acquaintances usually, so it's a painful process, but it really is the only way to move on that I've found works.

I hope you're alright, and that the recovery from this goes as well as it can. You will get through this and you'll be better because of it.
I was dreading hearing this response, not because I disagree with it but because I do. If it was anyone else in this situation I’d say the exact same thing, it’s just really sad to think that he won’t be in my life anymore at all, but I think that you’re right. Maybe I just put up with the friendship because it was the closest thing I had to us starting over. Tysm <3
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ca_1234
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(Original post by 999tigger)
The standard advice is cut contact and move on.
You cant deal with friends and its a reminder plus a good way to beat yourself up.
It isnt happening because it has to work for both and in your case it only potentially works for you.
Just block him, socialise with your gfs more and keep up with studies. A new interest will come along eventually or you can just develop yourself.
I thought this as well but I guess I was just trying to avoid it. I think I agree with you but a part of me is scared of cutting contact because that would mean he’s out of my life for good. And I don’t know how I feel about that. But thank you so much! <3
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999tigger
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(Original post by ca_1234)
I thought this as well but I guess I was just trying to avoid it. I think I agree with you but a part of me is scared of cutting contact because that would mean he’s out of my life for good. And I don’t know how I feel about that. But thank you so much! <3
There are hundreds of millions of other boys and potential friends out there.
You cant deal with continued contact so cut it out and that will let you move on eventually.
You do realise he will find someone else and then that will make you sad..
Look forward to nice things in your life including boys.
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ashtolga23
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(Original post by ca_1234)
I was dreading hearing this response, not because I disagree with it but because I do. If it was anyone else in this situation I’d say the exact same thing, it’s just really sad to think that he won’t be in my life anymore at all, but I think that you’re right. Maybe I just put up with the friendship because it was the closest thing I had to us starting over. Tysm <3
Trust me, anyone who’s been in this situation will be familiar with that feeling. It seems like the best solution but it’s so hard when suddenly you’re the one who has to do it.

It’s not a problem at all. Stay strong!
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