Knowing my partners parents prefer his ex...

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Anonymous #1
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Me and my partner were young when we got together and I suffered with anxiety. So I never managed to have more than just ‘small talk’ with his parents. Plus there’s a language barrier made it harder. 4 years later and I still don’t have a good relationship with them.

He was with his ex 4 years ago and only for a year and she had a better relationship with them than I do. And because of this I know my partners mother prefers his ex.

It eats me up especially the fact my partner is a mother’s boy. It feels too awkward now to even try and form a relationship. What to do?
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Anonymous #1
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Surnia
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The important thing is who your partner prefers; he isn't with his ex, he's with you.
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deadroseex
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To be honest, his parents are at fault for not accepting you!
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StriderHort
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(Original post by deadroseex)
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To be honest, his parents are at fault for not accepting you!
Sounds like OP is the one that hasn't much effort tbh.
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Dee-Emma
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my partner were young when we got together and I suffered with anxiety. So I never managed to have more than just ‘small talk’ with his parents. Plus there’s a language barrier made it harder. 4 years later and I still don’t have a good relationship with them.

He was with his ex 4 years ago and only for a year and she had a better relationship with them than I do. And because of this I know my partners mother prefers his ex.

It eats me up especially the fact my partner is a mother’s boy. It feels too awkward now to even try and form a relationship. What to do?
Be polite, maintain social smalltalk, and live your life. Your partners parents are under no obligation to like you, his partner, nor for you to like them. But with care you should all be able to get along OK, especially if neither you nor his parents try to force him to chose. Often parents mourn for the loss of a relationship with a child's ex, and comparisons can be made with the new partner. Tread carefully and avoid making this an issue with your partner unless his parents turn lack of affection into hostility.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by StriderHort)
Sounds like OP is the one that hasn't much effort tbh.
Your kind of right. But that’s cause of the language barrier. My partner said that his mother didn’t speak fluent English. So I just tried with really small talk. But I found out that she can but she just doesn’t like small talk. Which she never really tries to talk to me so that kind of hurt

(Original post by deadroseex)
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To be honest, his parents are at fault for not accepting you!
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Your kind of right. But that’s cause of the language barrier. My partner said that his mother didn’t speak fluent English. So I just tried with really small talk. But I found out that she can but she just doesn’t like small talk. Which she never really tries to talk to me so that kind of hurt
You could go the other way and ask your BF to help teach you a bit in her language, even basic greetings, to show that you're making the extra effort. It might help convince her you're planning to stick around and worth investing in, even a little, if learning language skills. Just a thought though.
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SoulfulTwist
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If you want a relarionship with his parents, you are going to have to put in more effort as hard as it is with anxiety. Ask your partner to help you and tell him how he can help (encuraging words, ideas on what you can do, being with you or not being with you) etc It will also please gim that you want try and build a good relationship with them esp if he is a mama's boy (I advice this strongly if he is as it could lead to problems down the line).
Also make sure your partner understands your anxiety and how to manage it etc too.

He is with you and not his ex, you should concentrate on that.
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