I dont like that my boyfriend smokes weed so much.

Watch
AliyahNebula
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and 6months now, and he recently started smoking a lot of weed. It's been like this for over 2 months now, and i think his mom coming back into the picture is a reason for it. She is super pressuring when she asks him to smoke weed WITH her, and it is super weird. I told him I didn't like it, and it makes me super unhappy. And I'm not even against it fully, me and him have smoked weed together a couple of times to have fun, but like we would go months without it. It was just extremely rare. I'm against him doing it so much because I wanted to be with someone who is mostly sober, and didn't drink a lot or smoke, because I grew up with my mom on drugs and her boyfriend's drinking, and I always told myself when I was older it would be different, and now it feels like its the same way again, and I'll have to live with it all over again. He knows about this too, and i've tried to get it through to him, he said he is going to stop smoking so much, but I'm not sure. And I don't know if I'm asking him for too much, or if it's dumb I should even me upset about it, or if I should leave him if he doesn't actually stop smoking it so much. I love him alot, and I really wanted to be with him. It feels like as soon as his mom came back everything changed..
Last edited by AliyahNebula; 1 month ago
1
reply
gtty123
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Finally, someone who isn't Anonymous.

Anyway, it's better if you speak to him about it. Raise your concerns (again).
0
reply
LovelyMrFox
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
Speak to him about it again and reevaluate the relationship from there. Its a perfectly reasonable thing to be upset or annoyed with, I think most people would be.
Personally drugs is something I would dump someone for in an instant. Especially if I raised my concerns and they brushed them off like this guy has done. Unfortunately things like this, someone can only change for themselves. If it bothers you I would consider finding someone who has more like values as you, ie someone that doesnt smoke and drink.
2
reply
Napp
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
If i were you id be hesitant about taking relationship advice from a bunch of randoms on the internet. With that being said, as the other two said, better to talk to him about this on your own terms and work out a way forward be it him agreeing to cut down the dope and potentially cutting him loose.
Either way, this is a decision only you can make depending on whether you can tolerate him blazing away. It might be worth considering that this is just a 'phase' though, especially given the dubious influence of his mum so trying to get him away from that might help?

All being said though, you're within your rights to not want to be with a stoner though, nothing wrong with taking that view.
2
reply
Ivartheboneless
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
Drugs are dirty dump him. You had to negotiate an acceptable level he smokes for a class B drug. He's not Sherlock Holmes so just get rid of him, he is showing drug addict symptoms. If he won't stop breaking the law then he doesn't love you more than drugs it's simple. Using for a reason like a party is an individual s choice, but it clearly upsets you and he still prefers to smoke. He's not as nice a person as you thought he was. It's not hard to realise this.
0
reply
Napp
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by Ivartheboneless)
Drugs are dirty dump him.
Yeah but they're totally cool when prescribed right? :rolleyes:.
[/quote]
0
reply
Ivartheboneless
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 month ago
#7
Treating a condition with a prescription drug is using a drug safely.
0
reply
Napp
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by Ivartheboneless)
Treating a condition with a prescription drug is using a drug safely.
Its the same drug. Be it diamorphine, marijuana, ketamine etc. You can either view them as all inherently dirty and evil or not..
0
reply
Ivartheboneless
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
(Original post by Napp)
Its the same drug. Be it diamorphine, marijuana, ketamine etc. You can either view them as all inherently dirty and evil or not..
Well unless drugs are used thereuputically in a sensible way and have met clinical standars I think they are dirty. I don't have a problem with clean drugs and asking as they are used sensibly. However his use is described with an increase due to external factors, it doesn't sound sensible to me or very responsible.
0
reply
candydiva
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
not easy. I hope u can find an accommodation. Ppl need their space and maybe he needs to help Ma with his presence.

U admit u have done the same xact thing with him too....

I scanned ur post for the more customary specific issues triggered by his weed use with Mama and u didn't mention any (lack of capacity and drive in normal life; inability to satisfy u in bed etc). So if it's general unease y make this into a monster deal? Let's be real. Ppl need to find room in rels. Partners just don't do ALL things the way WE WANT them to. That's not rl life. In some Disney fantasy maybe... we all need to lrn to accommodate ppl being real.
0
reply
harrysbar
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 month ago
#11
(Original post by AliyahNebula)
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and 6months now, and he recently started smoking a lot of weed. It's been like this for over 2 months now, and i think his mom coming back into the picture is a reason for it. She is super pressuring when she asks him to smoke weed WITH her, and it is super weird. I told him I didn't like it, and it makes me super unhappy. And I'm not even against it fully, me and him have smoked weed together a couple of times to have fun, but like we would go months without it. It was just extremely rare. I'm against him doing it so much because I wanted to be with someone who is mostly sober, and didn't drink a lot or smoke, because I grew up with my mom on drugs and her boyfriend's drinking, and I always told myself when I was older it would be different, and now it feels like its the same way again, and I'll have to live with it all over again. He knows about this too, and i've tried to get it through to him, he said he is going to stop smoking so much, but I'm not sure. And I don't know if I'm asking him for too much, or if it's dumb I should even me upset about it, or if I should leave him if he doesn't actually stop smoking it so much. I love him alot, and I really wanted to be with him. It feels like as soon as his mom came back everything changed..
More worrying than him smoking weed is the fact that he doesn't take your feelings into account which are valid and understandable given your difficult childhood.

I would have another conversation about it and tell him that you don't want to be with someone smoking all the time. If he carries on he is not right for you as he is selfish. And his mother is a piece of work - very weird.
0
reply
barnetlad
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 month ago
#12
End the relationship. You are condoning the drugs trade such as county lines, more BAME people especially men getting involved in criminal activity, and the harm it does to some developing countries.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you travelling in the Uni student travel window (3-9 Dec) to go home for Christmas?

Yes (99)
28.45%
No - I have already returned home (45)
12.93%
No - I plan on travelling outside these dates (67)
19.25%
No - I'm staying at my term time address over Christmas (36)
10.34%
No - I live at home during term anyway (101)
29.02%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise