I think I freaked her out :(

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Anonymous #1
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4 months into a relationship, 3 days ago we were texting and that night I sent her a message saying "I've never felt this way towards anyone before, you're one of a kind." She replied with "HAHAHAHA Cute cute",

The next day she messages me at night saying: "I'm not the partner you deserve to have at the moment, I feel like the relationship isn't working. I can't be the person you want me to be now or in the future. I want to stay friends with you though. I'm sorry I don't want to upset you."

What the ****?

Did I freak her out? If I did , I don't believe that is the response or the type of breakup I deserve. She was too harsh and apparently not in a very friendly way. Do I deserve to be treated this way? Is it over?
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Spencer5567
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Maybe she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship and she realised that you were when you said that. Also i don’t think what she said is harsh at all. Maybe it would have been better if she said that to you in person but it still isn’t harsh, you should probably ask her if it’s over but by the sound of it I think it is😕
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Spencer5567)
Maybe she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship and she realised that you were when you said that. Also i don’t think what she said is harsh at all. Maybe it would have been better if she said that to you in person but it still isn’t harsh, you should probably ask her if it’s over but by the sound of it I think it is😕
Imagine one day you think everything is going great in your relationship and you're happy and then the next BAM! She sends you a message saying she never wants to be with you again. How harsh is that?! No one says that to someone whom they cared about.
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londonmyst
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She probably realized that the two of you wanted different things and were not compatible as a couple.
Her message sounds a lot more polite and friendly than my version of the breakup speech is.
Ending the relationship face face face would have been better but maybe the pandemic or not wanting to see your upset reaction prevented her from doing that.
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LCHF OMAD
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Imagine one day you think everything is going great in your relationship and you're happy and then the next BAM! She sends you a message saying she never wants to be with you again. How harsh is that?! No one says that to someone whom they cared about.
It sucks but this is probably gonna happen many times to you in life. It sounds like she just didn't want anything too serious or she is the type of person that doesn't develop feelings quickly. Think of this as like training for the future when it inevitably happens again. It's part of life, bud.

She could have just led you on for months, leaving you feeling unhappy and unfulfilled because she doesn't return your affections to the same extent and she's too cowardly to officially break it off - because at some point, she would have become distant. I've been on both sides of this situation so I get it. At the very least, you have to admire her honesty.

Also, learn not to take these things personally. Easier said than done, I know but it will save you a lot of painful and unproductive heartache and obsessing.
Last edited by LCHF OMAD; 1 month ago
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username5454672
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I would appreciate her honestly, even though I would prefer a face-to-face breakup she did the right thing - telling you the truth and how she stands.

Sometimes people are at different stages in life - or with relationships, especially with young people 16-25, or if they are studying. Both genders sometimes don’t exactly know what they want and it’s just apart of life.

In my view, their is no reason to keep fretting about why she didn’t want a relationship - as their are many reasons and honestly it won’t help you knowing.

Happened to me at least twice and I’m only 22, so chin up and move on. It just needs to be accepted.
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ChickenMadness
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She was probably leading you on. She felt bad about it after you said that and then broke up with you.
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tashkent46
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You came on way too strongly. Got to get better at judging the mood for things like this or you will scare them away.
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hahagr8stuff
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She probably didn't like you enough to want something serious with you. After what you said, she realised that you didn't feel the same and wanted something serious.I'd say kudos to both of you being for being honest. It's okay that you feel that away about her, and that you told her as 4 months is plenty of time. She probably shouldn't have led you on for that long, but 4 months isn't that bad and at least you know now.Some people are serious, some aren't, some are more compatible with each other, others less. At least you know quite early on at 4 months only! Don't worry, it's life.
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Zarek
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She wasn’t in the same place as you. Possibly better to find this out sooner than later. Her message is pretty civilised as these things go, although I do think that ending it deserves a face to face conversation.
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username5454672
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(Original post by Zarek)
She wasn’t in the same place as you. Possibly better to find this out sooner than later. Her message is pretty civilised as these things go, although I do think that ending it deserves a face to face conversation.
Agree, better the OP finds out now, instead of 2 years later like some people
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Zarek
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(Original post by EwanAdams)
Agree, better the OP finds out now, instead of 2 years later like some people
Sadly, yes. Never good though when you feel that things are going well and get hit with this.
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username5454672
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(Original post by Zarek)
Sadly, yes. Never good though when you feel that things are going well and get hit with this.
Certainly, it’s a horrible feeling had it myself, however I advise the OP just to focus on other things like hobbies in the meantime
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Anonymous #1
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It's true to what you're all saying.

She also said: "I don't want you to keep giving in the relationship and me not do the same, you deserve to be with someone much better than me, you're much more deserving."

I guess that means that she doesn't feel the same way about me as I do for her. The truth really hurts, specially when you think everything is going okay and suddenly nada. I never saw it coming, she never saw it coming, my friends never saw it coming, everybody was shocked.
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username5454672
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's true to what you're all saying.

She also said: "I don't want you to keep giving in the relationship and me not do the same, you deserve to be with someone much better than me, you're much more deserving."

I guess that means that she doesn't feel the same way about me as I do for her. The truth really hurts, specially when you think everything is going okay and suddenly nada. I never saw it coming, she never saw it coming, my friends never saw it coming, everybody was shocked.
Sadly, that’s sometimes the way the cookie crumbles, it’s a shock and obviously it’s gonna sting for a while. At least she had the morals to tell you. Move on buddy better things await
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