AishaA11
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hey could you guuys tell me if these phrases are punctuated correctly:
-It came closer and closer until:silence
-A hand around my mouth. Arms picking me up. A car driving away ,with me inside!
-Surprisingly, the sky was darkly foreboding; ghastly clouds hung over rooftops like malevolent angels.
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ashtolga23
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I think it might need adjusting but I’ll tag Tolgash because he’ll know lol.
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Tolgash
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Thanks, ashtolga23. I'll try to give the best advice that I can.

(Original post by AishaA11)
hey could you guuys tell me if these phrases are punctuated correctly:
-It came closer and closer until:silence
-A hand around my mouth. Arms picking me up. A car driving away ,with me inside!
-Surprisingly, the sky was darkly foreboding; ghastly clouds hung over rooftops like malevolent angels.
The first sentence isn't punctuated correctly. Colons should be used at the end of an independent clause.
The second ‘sentence’ can be punctuated in many ways. However, I wouldn't deem your way correct. I would write it differently (e.g. ‘Arms are picking me up and a hand's around my mouth. A car's driving away with me inside!’).
The third sentence involves a comma splice. You should use a comma instead of a semi-colon.

Assuming that this is for the fictional writing section, you can be a little freer with the rules of the language.
Last edited by Tolgash; 4 weeks ago
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AishaA11
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(Original post by Tolgash)
Thanks, ashtolga23. I'll try to give the best advice that I can.



The first sentence isn't punctuated correctly. Colons should be used at the end of an independent clause.
The second ‘sentence’ appears to be a list that should probably be punctuated with commas instead of full stops.
The third sentence involves a comma splice. You should use a comma in place of the semi-colon.
how about:
-it came closer and closer until...
silence.
-A hand around my mouth,arms picking me up and a car driving away with me inside!
-surprisingly the sky was darkly foreboding,ghastly clouds hung over the rooftops like malevolent angels.

If you dont mind could you tell me a similar sentence where i would use a semi colon
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Tolgash
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(Original post by AishaA11)
how about:
-it came closer and closer until...
silence.
-A hand around my mouth,arms picking me up and a car driving away with me inside!
-surprisingly the sky was darkly foreboding,ghastly clouds hung over the rooftops like malevolent angels.

If you dont mind could you tell me a similar sentence where i would use a semi colon
I've edited my original response, but all three have improved greatly. I would accept the first two. However, with the last sentence, I would also change the content so that a colon was used (e.g. ‘Surprisingly, the sky was foreboding: ghastly clouds were hanging over the rooftops like malevolent angels.’), which would make it look less disjointed.

If you wanted to write the sentence with a semi-colon, you'd probably want to ensure that the second independent clause didn't necessarily explain or illustrate the first (e.g. ‘Surprisingly, the sky was foreboding; the temperature was also unusually low tonight.’).

Once again, assuming this is for the fictional writing section, don't try too hard to add different punctuation. No examiner likes that.
Last edited by Tolgash; 4 weeks ago
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AishaA11
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(Original post by Tolgash)
I've edited my original response, but all three have improved greatly. I would accept the first two. However, with the last sentence, I would also change the content so that a colon was used (e.g. ‘Surprisingly, the sky was foreboding: ghastly clouds were hanging over the rooftops like malevolent angels.’), which would make it look less disjointed.

If you wanted to write the sentence with a semi-colon, you'd probably want to ensure that the second independent clause didn't necessarily explain or illustrate the first (e.g. ‘Surprisingly, the sky was foreboding; the temperature was also unusually low tonight.’).

Once again, assuming this is for the fictional writing section, don't try too hard to add different punctuation. No examiner likes that.
Thank you i really appreciate the help
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