Doctor parents - help me please.

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Anonymous #1
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#1
I have a few questions, i'd love to hear your advice!

- How do you cope with having kids at the same time as being a doctor, especially when they're a lot younger and can't look after themselves?
- How is it even possible?
- Who looks after the baby when you're working?
- What if my husband also has a busy job so you're both out for most of the day so no ones's there to look after the kids? :cry:
- How long do you get to see your kids for in a week?
- Did they form secure attachments?
- Also, who looked after your parents when they got older?

Anon because i'm a bit worried and it's way too embarrassing.
Sorry if this is in the wrong forum!
Thanks for all your help :hugs:
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Anonymous #1
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i might ask a few more questions later that i cant remember atm
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Anonymous #2
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I'm not sure if this will be a major contribution, but i can tell you what my auntie did when she had her baby

She is a senior consultant at the hospital. The NHS gives you loads of flexibility when you work for them and have a child. She would work 2/3 days a week and her mum would take care of the baby the rest of the time. Also, the hospital she worked at has a nursery specifically for babies of staff so the baby would go there occasionally.

When she was on-call, her husband would take care of the baby.

It certainly seemed do-able. As i said, NHS gives you massive flexibility when you reach that senior stage
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not sure if this will be a major contribution, but i can tell you what my auntie did when she had her baby

She is a senior consultant at the hospital. The NHS gives you loads of flexibility when you work for them and have a child. She would work 2/3 days a week and her mum would take care of the baby the rest of the time. Also, the hospital she worked at has a nursery specifically for babies of staff so the baby would go there occasionally.

When she was on-call, her husband would take care of the baby.

It certainly seemed do-able. As i said, NHS gives you massive flexibility when you reach that senior stage
Thanks for your reply! This is really helpful
Is it just when you're a consultant when you have that much flexibility? What if my mum's too old and I need to look after her too? What about if my husband (if someone's crazy enough to marry me) also has a really busy job? Thanks again and sorry for being annoying
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your reply! This is really helpful
Is it just when you're a consultant when you have that much flexibility? What if my mum's too old and I need to look after her too? What about if my husband (if someone's crazy enough to marry me) also has a really busy job? Thanks again and sorry for being annoying
Child minder is the best option. I was with the baby sitter from 3 months old full time because my mum had to work. No harm in doing that. I have, and always have had, a great relationship with my mum.

Im pretty sure you get more flexibility as you become more senior. Dont quote me on that though. As a junior doctor - not much time at all.
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ecolier
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your reply! This is really helpful
Is it just when you're a consultant when you have that much flexibility?
You can work less than full time (LTFT) pretty much straight from graduation.

The threshold to work part time (LTFT in medicalese) is getting lower and lower. For some deaneries you don't even need to give a reason.

I mean I personally (as a single man!) get random emails asking if I wanted to go LTFT!!

What if my mum's too old and I need to look after her too?
As said, LTFT is the way to go. Do you have any siblings to help take your burden?

What about if my husband (if someone's crazy enough to marry me) also has a really busy job? Thanks again and sorry for being annoying
Then you can take turns to go LTFT!

(Original post by Anonymous)
...As a junior doctor - not much time at all.
Indeed - if you continue to work full time, then it is going to be very tough.
Last edited by ecolier; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by ecolier)
I mean I personally (as a single man!) get random emails asking if I wanted to go LTFT!!
ecolier, you are a man? Ive always thought you were a woman.
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ecolier
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(Original post by Anonymous)
ecolier, you are a man? Ive always thought you were a woman.
Yes... don't be fooled by my avatar.

I have also indicated on TSR that I am male (hover over my avatar and you'll see the symbol)
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by ecolier)
Yes... don't be fooled by my avatar.

I have also indicated on TSR that I am male (hover over my avatar and you'll see the symbol)
honestly its more to do with the way you speak. Dont think ive come across a male who dedicates this much time in helping young people on this level - especially a Dr.
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ecolier
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(Original post by Anonymous)
honestly its more to do with the way you speak. Dont think ive come across a male who dedicates this much time in helping young people on this level - especially a Dr.
Haha I'll take that as a complement. (I don't just do this on TSR either, prior to COVID I was going to schools and doing outreach programmes)

:ta:
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candidate415
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(Original post by ecolier)
Haha I'll take that as a complement. (I don't just do this on TSR either, prior to COVID I was going to schools and doing outreach programmes)

:ta:
yes do take it as a compliment.

we need more people like you in the world:doctor:
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