I hate my grad job so much it's making me miserable

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
I'm on my second year of a public sector grad scheme and I'm starting to reach the end of my tether. I work in policy and feel totally out of my depth every day and still struggle to understand the job on a day-to-day basis. I constantly feel like I'm embarrassing myself, misunderstanding things and making mistakes. Meetings are especially stressful because I have no idea what's being talked about half the time.

I felt like this from day one but hoped it would ease over time as I gained experience. It hasn't. I wanted to quit in my first year but then Covid happened and quitting a stable full-time job seemed incredibly stupid. I also feel guilty knowing there's so many people that would love my job and find it really interesting. I just know it's not for me.

So now I feel stuck in a job that I don't enjoy and am not good at. In an ideal world I would go back to uni and try for a career in academia but the market in my subject is so saturated that it just doesn't seem feasible.

I see my life stretching out before me spending year after year bouncing between government jobs, constantly stressed and scraping by in roles I have no interest in and find totally unfulfilling. It's just so depressing and I don't see a way out as there's no viable careers that I think would be any better.

Is this normal? Do I just need to suck it up and get on with it? I honestly can't see myself going on like this for another 40+ years just holding out for retirement.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 3 weeks ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm on my second year of a public sector grad scheme and I'm starting to reach the end of my tether. I work in policy and feel totally out of my depth every day and still struggle to understand the job on a day-to-day basis. I constantly feel like I'm embarrassing myself, misunderstanding things and making mistakes. Meetings are especially stressful because I have no idea what's being talked about half the time.

I felt like this from day one but hoped it would ease over time as I gained experience. It hasn't. I wanted to quit in my first year but then Covid happened and quitting a stable full-time job seemed incredibly stupid. I also feel guilty knowing there's so many people that would love my job and find it really interesting. I just know it's not for me.

So now I feel stuck in a job that I don't enjoy and am not good at. In an ideal world I would go back to uni and try for a career in academia but the market in my subject is so saturated that it just doesn't seem feasible.

I see my life stretching out before me spending year after year bouncing between government jobs, constantly stressed and scraping by in roles I have no interest in and find totally unfulfilling. It's just so depressing and I don't see a way out as there's no viable careers that I think would be any better.

Is this normal? Do I just need to suck it up and get on with it? I honestly can't see myself going on like this for another 40+ years just holding out for retirement.
I'm sorry but welcome to reality. Honestly this post is second hand embarrassment but you need to just get on with it. You are not incapable doing the job. Do you think anyone likes going through the misery of going to work? Nobody does. You suck it up - because that's life. A strong sense of entitlement in your life is going to make you take offence to anything that isn't validation of your world view. So go ahead. Rather than learning something today - shirk your responsibily to grow up.
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Chorky
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm on my second year of a public sector grad scheme and I'm starting to reach the end of my tether. I work in policy and feel totally out of my depth every day and still struggle to understand the job on a day-to-day basis. I constantly feel like I'm embarrassing myself, misunderstanding things and making mistakes. Meetings are especially stressful because I have no idea what's being talked about half the time.

I felt like this from day one but hoped it would ease over time as I gained experience. It hasn't. I wanted to quit in my first year but then Covid happened and quitting a stable full-time job seemed incredibly stupid. I also feel guilty knowing there's so many people that would love my job and find it really interesting. I just know it's not for me.

So now I feel stuck in a job that I don't enjoy and am not good at. In an ideal world I would go back to uni and try for a career in academia but the market in my subject is so saturated that it just doesn't seem feasible.

I see my life stretching out before me spending year after year bouncing between government jobs, constantly stressed and scraping by in roles I have no interest in and find totally unfulfilling. It's just so depressing and I don't see a way out as there's no viable careers that I think would be any better.

Is this normal? Do I just need to suck it up and get on with it? I honestly can't see myself going on like this for another 40+ years just holding out for retirement.
I can't believe the complete lack of empathy in some of the responses on here, wow.
Anyway.

As the others have said, to have a job at the moment is quite a privilege, however, not to the point where it's making you feel miserable all of the time. Also, no, work isn't supposed to be exactly 'enjoyable'. For most people, its getting the money to do the things that you value in your private life, creating networks etc.

Remember that "the average person changes jobs an average of 12 times during his or her career. Many workers spend five years or less in every job". There is no shame is changing jobs, don't feel guilty for leaving one that is stable to take a risk, because, in the end of the day, you are working for you and No-one else. Going back to university may not be a bad idea, but I would advise you to try and think of some sort of future plan.

Focus on things you find enjoyable out of work, don't get lost in the depressing 'meaning of life' mentality if you can avoid it, because although it may be true that childhood was the best years of your life, that doesn't mean that you won't find fulfilment in a different sense in the future. You are still very new in the job as well, 2 years really isn't a lot.

Just do what you feel is right for you, **** everyone else- you aren't doing it for them.

I wish you all the best of luck
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Chorky
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#4
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(Original post by Dulux)
I’m more worried by the fact you have actually considered quitting your job.

Perhaps forget about the sympathy thing... carry on with the job like a normal mentally sane person.

And stop cry on tsr that you might be depressed lmao. Get a to work and earn a living - even if you’re “depressed” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 .
What the **** is wrong with you???
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Anonymousespeaks
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#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm on my second year of a public sector grad scheme and I'm starting to reach the end of my tether. I work in policy and feel totally out of my depth every day and still struggle to understand the job on a day-to-day basis. I constantly feel like I'm embarrassing myself, misunderstanding things and making mistakes. Meetings are especially stressful because I have no idea what's being talked about half the time.

I felt like this from day one but hoped it would ease over time as I gained experience. It hasn't. I wanted to quit in my first year but then Covid happened and quitting a stable full-time job seemed incredibly stupid. I also feel guilty knowing there's so many people that would love my job and find it really interesting. I just know it's not for me.

So now I feel stuck in a job that I don't enjoy and am not good at. In an ideal world I would go back to uni and try for a career in academia but the market in my subject is so saturated that it just doesn't seem feasible.

I see my life stretching out before me spending year after year bouncing between government jobs, constantly stressed and scraping by in roles I have no interest in and find totally unfulfilling. It's just so depressing and I don't see a way out as there's no viable careers that I think would be any better.

Is this normal? Do I just need to suck it up and get on with it? I honestly can't see myself going on like this for another 40+ years just holding out for retirement.
It doesn't have to be like that at all. Discovering the job you're doing/sector you're in as unfulfilling is just a part of realising what you don't like and not suited to your personality. That's fine. Think of that experience as simply moving you closer towards finding something you do find fulfilling. Sometimes the ideal once held in your head does not match up to reality, but often you cannot know until you've tried it. That is life. However, settling for dissatisfaction does not have be your life. I have seen friends become hollowed out husks of who they once were because they chose what they thought was 'stable and safe', but ultimately unfulfilling. Taking the time to (actively) make steps in discovering what gives you value and doesn't, is essential. Only you can discover that.

I would suggest actively making small in-roads to planning what it is you like and find meaningful and are truly passionate about. Accept your job and tolerate it for now for the stability it's giving you. Note down the skills you think you've gained from it and how that can be applied to what you next want to go for. That way, you will see nothing is really a waste of time so long as you pay attention to what it's taught/teaching you.

In your spare time network (or due to Corona--stalk out on Linkedin) individuals who stand out and seem interesting to you. A lot of us are working from home and so it's a unique chance to actually find time to chat online to someone you thought you'd never be able to. Figure out how they made a career shift or the steps they took. Research and do your homework about what you want to go into and talk to someone doing it.

SO, as long as you start making those steps (tiny thought they may seem) it'll help you a lot in making you feel like you're not trapped in what you're doing forever. Eventually, you'll find yourself moving into the direction of that thing that sparks your interest.

Best of luck !
Last edited by Anonymousespeaks; 3 weeks ago
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