Why does every girl hate me?

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I’m at uni in my second year and I feel so so alone and unloveable. I have social phobia which is an anxiety disorder meaning I find practically any social situation terrifying due to the irrational fear of being judged by others. I tried to establish friendships last year but due to my social anxiety they never lasted. Every time I see a couple my age I feel like crying since I don’t have the courage to talk to females or even males.

Even during this pandemic some societies are still running in person events but if I went along to one I’d be paralysed with fear and be too scared to talk to anyone. I’m so so alone and want friends and especially a girlfriend since I’m 20 and I’ve never had one before due to my social phobia. I’m an attractive guy and in my first year I had a lot of girls smiling looking at me every time they walked past me even girls who weren’t with their friends. This year I’ve had none of that.

I work part time in a supermarket close to student accommodation and every time I see a girl my age in they frown at me and pull faces and look at me like they hate me. I get I’m more stressed out this year than last due to the fact I never made any friends or found a girlfriend last year since I was too scared to try and recently I get very pissed off at myself if I get socially anxious but a lot of the time I’m just depressed and even when I consciously try and not look depressed or stressed out girls just frown at me and look at me like they hate me or like I’m an idiot and then I see uni couples coming in and I get depressed and think why do these girls love all these other guys so much and hate me? Even on tinder I match with a girl I message and she ignores me and some even unmatch which ales me think they hate me. I’m a nice person I’m polite I care about my family and people I know, I just have bad social anxiety which makes me too scared to make friendships and relationships which results in extreme loneliness.

I feel so unloved. I feel like no girl could ever love me since they all frown at me. I know people will answer that I need to talk to girls first in order to form a connection with them but even if I did push myself really hard to do that I think that they would just tell me to get lost or **** off even though other guys get to talk to girls fine and form relationships.

I’m so so alone and the reason I want attention from girls is because I’ve never had a relationship due to my social anxiety and I’m extremely lonely and I feel girls love every other guy so much and they all despise me. I know this sounds crazy but I don’t even think this is my anxiety I think this is true. I just really really want w girlfriend but feel every girl is against me. I’ve tried hard to cope on my own but tomorrow I’m going to phone my parents crying about this, which won’t be easy for me and will likely surprise them even though I told them I was lonely last year. Is it possible for me to overcome my social phobia if I seek therapy now and go to places to meet people where I can confidently make friendships and then have places to go to meet girls and form a relationship? I just feel every girl is against me and it kills me more than ever and makes me feel so isolated and unloved. Almost every middle aged person is married and most young people are in relationships and the single ones have had past relationships and I’ve had none. What do I do?
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sunny.side.up
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Have you tried talking to a therapist about your social anxiety?
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madame_j
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Besides therapy, I think you can try out some societies running online this semester. I guess it might be easier for you to talk to a girl online rather than in person.

And just my tip: please don't be desperate when talking (finally) to girls. I observed that many males get kinda desperate and pushy if they were single for a long time.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by sunny.side.up)
Have you tried talking to a therapist about your social anxiety?
I tried it for a few months last year after I realised that my social anxiety was preventing me from meeting people but I literally told him nothing except that I had social anxiety. I never told him what makes me nervous I never told him what situations I avoid I didn’t tell him about my extreme loneliness or how much I’m dying for a relationship with a girl. But this time I’m going to find another therapist and tell them
Everything. No matter how nervous it makes me or how scary it is I need to do this to get better.
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sunny.side.up
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I tried it for a few months last year after I realised that my social anxiety was preventing me from meeting people but I literally told him nothing except that I had social anxiety. I never told him what makes me nervous I never told him what situations I avoid I didn’t tell him about my extreme loneliness or how much I’m dying for a relationship with a girl. But this time I’m going to find another therapist and tell them
Everything. No matter how nervous it makes me or how scary it is I need to do this to get better.
You have to find a therapist you feel comfortable sharing with. Thats the only way, you'll get anywhere.
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