Why do I feel so guilty? Was I partly to blame?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hi, so on Saturday my roommates and I had a party for ourselves. We got dressed up and really quite drunk. One of the girls wanted to set me up with her boyfriend's best friend and she then invited them both over. It was weirdly exciting and nice and they had always been telling me what a good guy he was. At some point in the night we kissed as well. At about 3/4am we moved on to this other guy's house and we stayed there for another while. At like 7am we went home and I can remember leaving the place but nothing afterwards. I woke up on Sunday morning, naked, beside this guy and totally disorientated. I started to panic because I had had no idea what had happened the night before. He began to kiss me when I had woken up and fingering me. However, the next minute it wasn't his finger anymore. I totally flipped because he had no protection or anything and nothing had even been said to warn me or given me the opportunity to say no. I then dared to ask him about the previous evening and he said 'he now remembered' that I had done the same thing, told him to stop once I was aware he had no protection. I felt so violated and so guilty and still do. I've been crying on and off for days and haven't been able to concentrate. I talked to my roommate about it (the girl that tried to set me up with him) and she really didn't understand why I was so upset. She said that it was just a miscommunication and could see how he could get the wrong signal. It made me feel even worse and more guilty because I was raised in a really Catholic manner (I'm not that religious) but it really has had an impact on my sex life. I feel guilty about having sex with people even if I want to have sex with them. My main worry now is not that I was taken advantage of and that I had to take the morning after pill etc and certainly my already guilt-ridden sex life will be tainted but I'm more ashamed that I believe my body count has risen. I know it's not the right mentality and I don't have to count this event because I wasn't in control of myself at that point but it's just been weighing on my mind so much.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Don’t think too much about it. Just try and take your mind off of it. It kind of sounds like that guilt is the Holy Spirit in you. I’m assuming you’re a sixth former or uni student so just focus on your work, speak to your mum or dad about it. Talking to someone is always the way to go. I hope you have a nice day
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
You’ve done nothing wrong here.
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