Skin colour and skin tone.

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hijackedbrother
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I'm a black guy and a female friend told me I should consider skin lightening because I'm a bit too dark. I know a lot of you will say 'accept yourself' but it does seem that lighter skinned blacks fare better in the dating scene.

I thought that colorism only really applied to black women, but it also apparently applies to black men as well.

Even the conventionally attractive dark skinned black men like Idris Elba, Kobe Bryant would be considered to have 'Eurocentric' features (straight nose, small lips)

https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod...1594723325.jpg


https://cdn.nba.net/nba-drupal-prod/...1.1280x720.jpg
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CaptainDuckie
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Homie, listen,
I’m dark, and trust me, the majority of girls I knew preferred dark guys. In fact, they even prefer darker skin guys to lighter skin guys, I’ve seen social experiments that prove this.
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summerberry19
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It’s annoying that colourism exists. It’s like humans have an in-built prejudice towards a certain skin tone and that’s horrible.
Anyway, it’s ultimately your choice. I wouldn’t accept it if someone said I was ‘too dark’.
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Ramipril
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Well all have our preferences. There are over 7 billion people in this planet and whilst you may not have a feature which is supposedly socially preferable, there will be thousands, if not millions of people out there who will ignore the lack of x feature (or not even care at all) and still find you attractive.

Also, what kind of 'friend' says something like that?
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OluOlu2020
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Hey, I don't think anyone who is your friend would advise you to consider skin lightening products. Once you start, you would have to keep it up. They can be expensive, especially the good and somewhat safe ones and they can damage your skin. We all have insecurities and there are times when you won't be able to shake them but don't ever make permanent changes based on how you are feeling. You look great in your own way. Dark or light-skinned if you are a terrible person, you won't get anyone to stay with you. You might attract a lot of girls, but what is the point if they end up leaving after a while? Some girls like dark skin, some like light skin. Love yourself. You will meet the right person when the time comes and they will love you for who you are and how you are. If you had a child, what would you advise them if they came back from school saying they wanted to lighten their skin due to a comment? Stay positive
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ItsTomii
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LOL. What a sh*tty remark.

Don’t change yourself on the basis of what others think. I’m a dark-skinned black girl, and it couldn’t take everyone in the world telling me to bleach to get me to do so.
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mon166
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uhh no absolutely do not consider using skin lightening products, all black is beautiful.

And what kind of friend says that?? I’m not black, but a girl who got pressurised in using skin lightening products and it’s horrible.

pls just ignore that friend idk what she’s on.
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adam271
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(Original post by summerberry19)
It’s annoying that colourism exists. It’s like humans have an in-built prejudice towards a certain skin tone and that’s horrible.
Evolutionary speaking it makes a lot of sense. Humans do have built in prejudices just like another other animal.
There is a reason rabbits fear larger animals despite never seeing them before yet when they see another Rabbit they dont run.
It's an interesting conversation to have in fact a lot of the reasons racism exists is no doubt in part down to naturally evolved prejudices that have helped us survive. (E.g. learning to fear people that look different to you has no doubt helped people survive and reproduce historically.) Do not forget for probably about 95% of human existence war has consisted of tribe on tribe warfare.
As for the OP: It's your choice but I wouldnt do it.

(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
Homie, listen,
I’m dark, and trust me, the majority of girls I knew preferred dark guys. In fact, they even prefer darker skin guys to lighter skin guys, I’ve seen social experiments that prove this.
This anecdotal evidence can only be applied locally at best. In China I believe woman hold umbrellas to avoid getting a tan. Darker skin in China is typically assoicated with being a low skilled worker who has to work outside.
Last edited by adam271; 1 month ago
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summerberry19
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(Original post by adam271)
Evolutionary speaking it makes a lot of sense. Humans do have built in prejudices just like another other animal.
There is a reason rabbits fear larger animals despite never seeing them before yet when they see another Rabbit they dont run.
It's an interesting conversation to have in fact a lot of the reasons racism exists is no doubt in part down to naturally evolved prejudices that have helped us survive. (E.g. learning to fear people that look different to you has no doubt helped people survive and reproduce historically.) Do not forget for probably about 95% of human existence war has consisted of tribe on tribe warfare.
Hmm that’s true. It’s just a bit annoying in a modern context, y’know?
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adam271
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(Original post by summerberry19)
Hmm that’s true. It’s just a bit annoying in a modern context, y’know?
I think people can be attracted to whoever they want.
I might not find people with big noses attractive but doesnt mean I hate them or anything.
Everyone has their markers that they find attractive and for many people personality often trumps what people look like anyway.

So to the OP:
One girl might think your a bit too dark whereas another girl might find you too light.
Like with me someone might find me too fat another girl might see me as too skinny.
Last edited by adam271; 1 month ago
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by adam271)
This anecdotal evidence can only be applied locally at best. In China I believe woman hold umbrellas to avoid getting a tan. Darker skin in China is typically assoicated with being a low skilled worker who has to work outside.
Okay, OP doesn’t not live in China though lmao
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summerberry19
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(Original post by adam271)
I think people can be attracted to whoever they want.
I might not find people with big noses attractive but doesnt mean I hate them or anything.
Everyone has their markers that they find attractive and for many people personality often trumps what people look like anyway.
They can, definitely. Being dark-skinned is generally seen as an unattractive thing compared to fair-skinned people to what I’ve noticed, in TV shows and other things.
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tashkent46
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Do u really want to date someone who would pass you over because you are 'too black'?
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by OluOlu2020)
Hey, I don't think anyone who is your friend would advise you to consider skin lightening products. Once you start, you would have to keep it up. They can be expensive, especially the good and somewhat safe ones and they can damage your skin. We all have insecurities and there are times when you won't be able to shake them but don't ever make permanent changes based on how you are feeling. You look great in your own way. Dark or light-skinned if you are a terrible person, you won't get anyone to stay with you. You might attract a lot of girls, but what is the point if they end up leaving after a while? Some girls like dark skin, some like light skin. Love yourself. You will meet the right person when the time comes and they will love you for who you are and how you are. If you had a child, what would you advise them if they came back from school saying they wanted to lighten their skin due to a comment? Stay positive
OP, I’d strongly advise to read this thoughtful response again and again
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summerberry19
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
OP, I’d strongly advise to read this thoughtful response again and again
It’s perfect :borat:
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by summerberry19)
It’s perfect :borat:
Very perfect
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by summerberry19)
They can, definitely. Being dark-skinned is generally seen as an unattractive thing compared to fair-skinned people to what I’ve noticed, in TV shows and other things.
That is very true
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summerberry19
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
That is very true
Hopefully something should change in the future
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by summerberry19)
Hopefully something should change in the future
Hi I’m open to talk my dms are open
Happy to see a fellow black person on here lol
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Anonymous #1
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just tell them to leave you alone and stop being friends with them. I’m a brown girl but I’m half white so I have lighter skin than some others I know and i’ve been told i’m “lucky” to be light skinned and i’m pretty because i’m “not that brown” my own grandmother told me I shouldn’t go outside so much in the summer because i’ll get too dark. colourism exists and needs to be fought. Obviously it’s up to you if you want to lighten your skin but to defeat racism we need poc to be proud of our skin tone and accept who we are
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