Dating between Religions (Christian and Muslim)

So I'm a Christian girl, from quite a modern church, but yeah still Christian. I've got this really good friend who's Muslim, and we really like each other. We both respect each others religion and there's a majority overlap in what we believe (same God, same moral belives, same prophets etc.) But his family won't allow him to date non-muslims, ESPECIALLY a white girl. I don't know what to do, cause it really sucks not being able to be with someone you like because of your race and religion. Is there anything I can do or do I just accept it could never happen? Any help is appreciated.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Hi there, you're not allowed to date in Islam as it is considered haram (not allowed), he shouldn't be dating at all as it's not allowed in his religion
Islamically, he can marry a non-muslim, but that's about it, if you really like each other then wait it out until you're old enough to get married lol, don't date secretly as it will ruin his relationship with his family too

Reply 2

tashkent46

The fact Islam has such an issue with interfaith marriage must surely be one of the major reasons British Muslims face such exclusion. Do yourselves a favour and do away with such silly rules. Do u really think Muhammad gave a damn?

Reply 3

londonmyst

His family sound very traditionalist.
They may be committed to a family tradition of arranged marriages with relatives.
Or opposed to any close relationships involving persons of another caste/religion/nationality.
Islam does allow male followers to marry women from all three abrahamic religions.
But even if this route is chosen there is a risk that his family will never change their stance and could end all contact with him.

I believe in interfaith marriage, friendships and dating.
I'm catholic and my best friend is a followers of the liberal islamic sect led by the aga khan.
We have both dated guys of a variety of backgrounds; religious beliefs, nationalities and professions.
But my mother was almost beaten to death by her ultra-traditionalist father&grandmother for deciding to marry an atheist and disinherited.
Good luck!

Reply 4

tashkent46

Original post by londonmyst

Yeah she has the benefit that she is a woman (because the rules are harder for Muslim women) and because she is Christian she is a people of the book. However I think it is pretty disgusting that in the UK of all places we still indulge sycophants who don't allow their children to marry because of religion. That should be in a citizenship test or something.

Reply 5

londonmyst

Original post by tashkent46

In my experience most of islam's fundamentalist wing tend to be willing to debate that point.
Either by adopting a very selective definition of what constitutes a Christian or by declaring any woman they view as unsuitable as an apostate EOG based on her ancestry/venue of parental marriage/personal diet or fashion choices.
Plenty of Christians do something very similar; trying to mass excommunicate members of other sects as heretics or give the impression that they alone hold an automatic monopoly upon the one true form of religion.

I've crossed paths with many religious hardliners & cultural traditionalists of all different varieties that seek to enforce the obedience of their descendants to their own preferences about family traditions and ancient religious teachings.
Whether about accent, caste, ethnicity, religion, social class, sexual orientation, professional occupation or political beliefs.

It is often more an issue of ensuring that people know that they do have choices.
Making sure that everyone is aware they don't have to automatically conform to their parent's demands/traditions/values and have the freedom to decide what type of future they want for themselves.

Most reasonable members of UK society don't have any desire to indulge or appease the traditionalists who will only accept endogamy/arranged marriage/social separatism.
Very little mainstream support within a secular society for those who seek to impose their commitment for the rigorous adherence to ancient religious traditions upon young members of their extended family, their own children and even the next generation.
In the UK adult children don't require parental permission or approval to get married.
In countries like India and religious states the marriage laws are very different.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 6

Justvisited

Original post by londonmyst

Making sure that everyone is aware they don't have to automatically conform to their parent's demands/traditions/values and have the freedom to decide what type of future they want for themselves or the next generation.

I'm sure you didn't mean it, but that's actually a contradiction.

Reply 7

londonmyst

Original post by Justvisited

I'm sure you didn't mean it, but that's actually a contradiction.

Thanks.
I've corrected and reunited with the last para.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Thanks for all the insight everyone! Obviously any options that include him being ostracised or cut off from his family isn’t on the cards cause they’re so important to him, and I also wouldn’t want to be responsible for that. I know his family came to the UK and only want him to marry someone from their country, but he personally drinks alcohol and has kissed people at clubs etc so I don’t think he’s personally that strict, he just doesn’t want to upset his family.