Talking to girls on nights out

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WorshipH20
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I'm naturally a quiet person and I get anxious meeting new people. What are some pointers you would give on how to approach people for conversations and keep them going whilst coming across as interesting, not necessarily just for girls but anyone in general.
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tashkent46
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Just keep talking. If it flows it flows, if it don't it don't. She's wearing something right? (I assume). Nice necklace, maybe she has a cross? Are you a Christian? Get a vibe from her. Does she look like she is educated? (Where and what did you study). What do you do for work? The thing is most successful relationships and friends I have had came from weird questions. If you vibe with someone that's all it takes.
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username5454672
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Just be natural, comment on her looks (be subtle though) and ask her if she attends uni or what she does for work. Just do it - and to be honest their is no easy way around it.
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zKlown
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Talking to people in general, just try keep a friendly face. Smile when you see people and just say hi.

Don't force conversation, just let it be natural.

As for talking to girls on nights out, something tells me not many of us are doing this!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by WorshipH20)
I'm naturally a quiet person and I get anxious meeting new people. What are some pointers you would give on how to approach people for conversations and keep them going whilst coming across as interesting, not necessarily just for girls but anyone in general.
The hardest part is actually going up to them and starting the conversation, try to avoid cheesy pickup lines, you could walk up and comment on what their wearing and that you think they are very beautiful, its beneficial to always start with a compliment to show that you are interested. Be prepared for a "**** test" this is when a woman makes a derogatory remark or a negative comment about you to see how you will react, this is to test your confidence, how you react to this will tell the girl if she thinks you are weak or not(this is a subconscious act all women do without realising, its part of our primitive instincts, used to test potential mates strengths and weaknesses). A good example of a "**** test" would be like if you walked up to a girl and said "I think you look very beautiful what's your name" and she replies by saying "I bet you say that to all the girls", you could reply to this with a joke showing that you are able to take criticism and are confident "yeah I do, it gets a little weird when I keep saying it to my grandma". Just an example, you will have to come up with something catered to the response on the fly obviously.

The key is asking questions, women like to talk about themselves, and it shows that your interested, You can also talk a little about yourself, don't outright lie, try to be yourself. Also if the girl is with a group of friends, you have to be able to talk to the girl AND include her friends in the conversation(DO NOT WAIT FOR HER TO BE ALONE, THIS IS CREEPY AND SOME GIRLS WILL NOT RESPOND WELL TO THIS), you sort of have to be able to play the room as it were, this shows that you are able to get along with not just her but her friends too which is an attractive quality.

Finally, be prepared to get rejected A LOT, approaching girls takes a lot of practice before you get good at it, so you will get rejected a lot, Just keep at it until you are more confident and DO NOT ACT LIKE A MANCHILD and insult her / take it badly if you do get rejected, swallow your pride, be courteous and move on.

You can learn a lot of tips and tricks from pickup artists online (youtube) but be warned, these guys are douchebags pretty much who are just out there to score as many girls as they can as some form of self-worth exercise. They do give good advice though, just don't become one of them, you should be looking for one girl not many.
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tinygirl96
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As a hard to find expert in human behaviour my top tip is to play it cool. Talk about common interests. Be yourself.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Be prepared for a "**** test"
the forum bleeped the word SH*T out
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tashkent46
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'I bet you say that to all the girls'

^^

'Only the good looking ones'
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SchmuckOff
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Wear a mask

That way you can actually talk to people
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by tashkent46)
'I bet you say that to all the girls'

^^

'Only the good looking ones'
any quick-thinking girl would come up with a second sh*t test for a reply like that

"Oh, so you're a player? you walk up and talk to a lot of girls then?"
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tashkent46
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(Original post by Anonymous)
any quick-thinking girl would come up with a second sh*t test for a reply like that

"Oh, so you're a player? you walk up and talk to a lot of girls then?"
'Yes, but usually they walk up and talk to me'
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ChickenMadness
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Just hang out in the smoking area, everyone talks to each other there. You'll get random people coming up to you. Assuming you're at a nightclub.
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tashkent46
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(Original post by ChickenMadness)
Just hang out in the smoking area, everyone talks to each other there. You'll get random people coming up to you. Assuming you're at a nightclub.
Ah yes the old 'do u have a lighter' intro
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by tashkent46)
Ah yes the old 'do u have a lighter' intro
I'm blessed with good genetics and I work out A LOT, once I was out in the smoking area and this girl deadass came up to me and started feeling my arms and saying "oooh there so big", and I was too stupid and drunk to realise she was coming on to me xD. It wasn't till the next morning I was like "Oh, well ****" :argh:
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candydiva
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Yeah depends on the sit with her how many ppl around and how things r going for u beforehand.

But like dude says above.

Sometimes when I went out with my buds at the uni in UK we'd go to a pub or club. Dudes would come to the group and chat. Actually not as many as some of u think coz u need to remember it's easy to say how manly u r and how u will approach girls on an internet board but I'm six feet without my heels and not many of u have the balls to do it. My petite friends would get more of the playa approach. I don't care coz if u r interesting enuf I might make the move nyway.

But there's one funny thing I noticed. Sometimes dudes would talk their lines while they're looking at my boobs. Coz some of u know, they're big lol! Anyway no prob maybe I am showing cleavage for a fun nite so I smile sweetly and say to the dude, I disregard whatever he is saying to me and take him at his face value, oh so u like them... do u wanna play with them? I say this to him directly in front of my friends.... my friends larf and the dude suddenly back off and runs away! LOOOL!

I s'pose it's more problematic when I am in a group.

btw dudes u know if a girl is with a group of friends u r never gonna get some action that night. dudes will split from the group to get action but girls almost never do this. So u will need to accept ur goal is to get her contact and have fun anyway then make a move l8r maybe next day.
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netflix84
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yeah a lot of ppl have said this but ima say it again for effect
walking up to someone and starting a conversation is absolutely terrifying
I sh*t myself on a daily just thinking about and I'm a certified extrovert so its definitely normal

usually, it's nice when it just happens naturally- like if you two are sitting next to each other or they walk up to you- god what A BLESSING

but if the gods are not smiling down at you and want to piss on you instead, here's what you do:

-first of all, fix your own vibe- don't come across as extremeLY nervous - girls tend to get a little awkward after that. and definitely don't act like a major flirt or sketchy roadman but that should be common sense.
-you wanna come across as friendly- even if you'd like to get to know the other person romantically or smth, cause people tend to react better that way
-make sure you look presentable- and I'm not talking about how hot you look - I'm just talking abt basic hygiene. if your breath stinks and the sheer amount of sweat patches on you make you look like a cow, maybe don't approach someone just yet.
-and I know pick up lines and cheesy comments are a bit of a hit or miss, but if you say it light heartedly and not like you actually think 'damn girl what a booty' will impress anyone, then it works sometimes. but as I said, hit or miss, so maybe take a look at who you're trying to talk to and judge it that way.
-finally, if they're in a group or with some other people, don't barge in and start talking to just that one person. after seeing them as a group if you still have the balls to go up to them, then address everyone and make friendly conversation instead of trying to single someone out- it gets pretty awkward after that.

gosh, I'm so wise- but I also spent an unhealthy amount of time on this response so ill go and get a life now.

I hope everything works out and you meet some new people on your night outs
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WorshipH20
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#17
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The hardest part is actually going up to them and starting the conversation, try to avoid cheesy pickup lines, you could walk up and comment on what their wearing and that you think they are very beautiful, its beneficial to always start with a compliment to show that you are interested. Be prepared for a "**** test" this is when a woman makes a derogatory remark or a negative comment about you to see how you will react, this is to test your confidence, how you react to this will tell the girl if she thinks you are weak or not(this is a subconscious act all women do without realising, its part of our primitive instincts, used to test potential mates strengths and weaknesses). A good example of a "**** test" would be like if you walked up to a girl and said "I think you look very beautiful what's your name" and she replies by saying "I bet you say that to all the girls", you could reply to this with a joke showing that you are able to take criticism and are confident "yeah I do, it gets a little weird when I keep saying it to my grandma". Just an example, you will have to come up with something catered to the response on the fly obviously.

The key is asking questions, women like to talk about themselves, and it shows that your interested, You can also talk a little about yourself, don't outright lie, try to be yourself. Also if the girl is with a group of friends, you have to be able to talk to the girl AND include her friends in the conversation(DO NOT WAIT FOR HER TO BE ALONE, THIS IS CREEPY AND SOME GIRLS WILL NOT RESPOND WELL TO THIS), you sort of have to be able to play the room as it were, this shows that you are able to get along with not just her but her friends too which is an attractive quality.

Finally, be prepared to get rejected A LOT, approaching girls takes a lot of practice before you get good at it, so you will get rejected a lot, Just keep at it until you are more confident and DO NOT ACT LIKE A MANCHILD and insult her / take it badly if you do get rejected, swallow your pride, be courteous and move on.

You can learn a lot of tips and tricks from pickup artists online (youtube) but be warned, these guys are douchebags pretty much who are just out there to score as many girls as they can as some form of self-worth exercise. They do give good advice though, just don't become one of them, you should be looking for one girl not many.
Thanks for the response, I generally find it difficult to initiate the conversations so starting with a compliment and asking them questions will ease the pressure on myself to try and 'perform' if you like, as I can focus on the other person rather than being stuck in my head. Thanks again
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WorshipH20
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(Original post by EwanAdams)
Just be natural, comment on her looks (be subtle though) and ask her if she attends uni or what she does for work. Just do it - and to be honest their is no easy way around it.
That's very true that there's no easy way around it, so starting with a compliment / work / uni will be useful, cheers
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WorshipH20
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(Original post by netflix84)
yeah a lot of ppl have said this but ima say it again for effect
walking up to someone and starting a conversation is absolutely terrifying
I sh*t myself on a daily just thinking about and I'm a certified extrovert so its definitely normal

usually, it's nice when it just happens naturally- like if you two are sitting next to each other or they walk up to you- god what A BLESSING

but if the gods are not smiling down at you and want to piss on you instead, here's what you do:

-first of all, fix your own vibe- don't come across as extremeLY nervous - girls tend to get a little awkward after that. and definitely don't act like a major flirt or sketchy roadman but that should be common sense.
-you wanna come across as friendly- even if you'd like to get to know the other person romantically or smth, cause people tend to react better that way
-make sure you look presentable- and I'm not talking about how hot you look - I'm just talking abt basic hygiene. if your breath stinks and the sheer amount of sweat patches on you make you look like a cow, maybe don't approach someone just yet.
-and I know pick up lines and cheesy comments are a bit of a hit or miss, but if you say it light heartedly and not like you actually think 'damn girl what a booty' will impress anyone, then it works sometimes. but as I said, hit or miss, so maybe take a look at who you're trying to talk to and judge it that way.
-finally, if they're in a group or with some other people, don't barge in and start talking to just that one person. after seeing them as a group if you still have the balls to go up to them, then address everyone and make friendly conversation instead of trying to single someone out- it gets pretty awkward after that.

gosh, I'm so wise- but I also spent an unhealthy amount of time on this response so ill go and get a life now.

I hope everything works out and you meet some new people on your night outs
Thank you for the advice, I think once I've drank enough I can come across as calm and friendly, the vibe that you give across is something I'm developing (so much easier after a couple drinks though). Thanks again
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WorshipH20
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(Original post by candydiva)
Yeah depends on the sit with her how many ppl around and how things r going for u beforehand.

But like dude says above.

Sometimes when I went out with my buds at the uni in UK we'd go to a pub or club. Dudes would come to the group and chat. Actually not as many as some of u think coz u need to remember it's easy to say how manly u r and how u will approach girls on an internet board but I'm six feet without my heels and not many of u have the balls to do it. My petite friends would get more of the playa approach. I don't care coz if u r interesting enuf I might make the move nyway.

But there's one funny thing I noticed. Sometimes dudes would talk their lines while they're looking at my boobs. Coz some of u know, they're big lol! Anyway no prob maybe I am showing cleavage for a fun nite so I smile sweetly and say to the dude, I disregard whatever he is saying to me and take him at his face value, oh so u like them... do u wanna play with them? I say this to him directly in front of my friends.... my friends larf and the dude suddenly back off and runs away! LOOOL!

I s'pose it's more problematic when I am in a group.

btw dudes u know if a girl is with a group of friends u r never gonna get some action that night. dudes will split from the group to get action but girls almost never do this. So u will need to accept ur goal is to get her contact and have fun anyway then make a move l8r maybe next day.
Wow, it's humiliating to hear about some of the self proclaimed male 'players' who treat women objectively rather than individuals. Maybe it's not as hard as I thought if you just be a genuinely nice person, thanks
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